oH mY wORD!

Take Me Out to the Bore, I Mean, Ball Game

2011-05-25T08:22:00.000-04:00

I was going to write a poem about softball but then realized that there are not enough words that rhyme with "boring".

#2 and #3 are both playing on different teams and there seems to be a game to go to almost every night! I just don't have the patience for softball and baseball. It is so slow. I once told another mom, if they could condense the actual action parts (someone hitting a ball, stealing a base, running home, throwing someone out, etc...) into about 25 minutes then I would be interested. But, it is almost painful watching the pitcher pitch a ball, the catcher drop it, walk over to pick it up, throw to the pitcher, who pitches another outside ball and on and on and on.....I (and the ump) get so excited when he calls a strike. And, speaking of the umps....they have proved to be the most entertaining part of softball this season.

Once our ump didn't show up for a majors game (girls nine through twelve), so a parent from the other team was recruited to ump. After long pauses, he made some calls on the pitches but when the ball was hit, our runner made it to first just as the first baseman caught the ball. The ump shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know". We all just sat there waiting for him to call it one way or the other until finally our coach called our player out more out of awkwardness than anything else! However, there are some more professional umps out there. Our minors team (ages seven through nine) played a game with an "official" ump who took his job very seriously. Too seriously. By the fourth inning I had nicknamed him Paul Balart, Softball Ump. He was a walking rulebook and The Husband (who coaches our team) started to get upset when he instructed our outfielders to move four feet off the base line when they were only about three feet off. When seven year olds are hitting (or, in most cases not hitting) there is no need to stand way out there! But, he was the official expert and it made for an entertaining game. Not a play went by without him reviewing the proper way to throw a bat, where to stand, when to swing, etc.

I also keep "The Book" for games. I remember feeling like this was some great honor a few years ago to be taught such a prestigious task. However, I don't like The Book. I'm a little too chatty to do a good job keeping The Book. I had done it a few weeks ago for our majors team and at the end of the game I declared it a tie. I'm shouting, "we tied!" out to the coaches, telling the girls in the cockpit or dugout whatever it's called, and a parent came up to me and said she thought we were down by one. "Oh no, The Book has us tied. I counted it several times", I assured her. Meanwhile coaches from both teams were gathered on the field and I was called over. Apparently, I counted a sixth run that came in on a five run maximum inning (too many stupid rules) so we lost. Whoops! My bad (and, my big mouth)! I have not been asked by that coach to keep The Book again since that game! Since I'm married to the other coach, by default I usually have to keep The Book. However, I am training young Jedi knights to take over the task and now #1 can do it, as well as some of the random kids at the softball field who just happen to be passing by. I buy them ice cream in exchange for relieving me of the dreaded task.

I also like to help coach. Uninvited, of course. I think since I coach soccer I feel entitled to coach just about any other sport I go to whether I know anything about it or not. I try to "help" with the line up and throw my two cents in. I almost offered to ump a game but realized I don't like it when people hate me. And, since I can barely do The Book, I probably wouldn't know a strike zone if it hit me upside the head (and actually getting hit upside the head was a good possibility for me in my easily-distracted state....look, a butterfly!).

Of course, I am somewhat kidding. I really enjoy watching my kids play just about any sport. And, there is something to be said for being outside catching up with the other moms, enjoying the warmer weather and being thankful it isn’t raining or snowing!

Politics, American Idol and High School

2011-05-24T07:39:00.000-04:00

I've reached the conclusion that politics are a lot like American Idol and both of those are a lot like high school.

There are stereotypes, shocking revelations, backstabbing, popularity contests, obsessions, scandals and a whole bunch of people who think they know more than they really do about any given topic. There are fans and critics. There are leaders and followers. There is victory and setback.

This comparison occurred to me while contemplating the fate of the next presidential election. Where are the candidates that stand out? I probably wouldn't have voted for him, but at least Donald Trump had some chutzpah. He was like the Casey Abrams of American Idol….most people knew he would not win, but it sure was fun to watch him! It is going to take a savvy, high tech campaign to go up against our rock star president, who believe it or not, has already been campaigning. His "town hall" meetings are basically just an attempt at reaching out to younger voters and telling them what they want to hear. Reminiscent of high school years when everyone follows that one charismatic good-looking kid even when some of the things he/she does has you lying awake at night (I'm not speaking from personal experience, my high school years were fairly unscathed in that regard!).

But, how does this compare to American Idol, you ask? Well, much of the criticism of American Idol this year is that the voting process is not fair. Many of the shows most talented hopefuls were sent home early in the race. The same will hold true of Republican hopefuls. We did not end up with the best candidate in the last election. I can only hope the same mistake does not happen again. People hear what they want to hear based on their values and convictions (or lack thereof). The most loyal supporters will pound the pavement/school lunchroom for votes (or text their vote in 200 times). Are they the majority? Probably not. Part of that problem is the reality that is created by those "in charge"....there is so much that goes into convincing people to believe something that is not always entirely true. We need to be aware of that and not blindly follow a person or doctrine.

Is it a good thing that these particular things have so much in common? I guess that depends on your perspective. Most of us have moved past the politics of high school and American Idol is just a TV show. The part I'm really concerned with is the direction our country will take after this next election. I only hope everyone keeps their eyes open for the bullying, manipulating and phony tactics that will be employed in the next 18 months.

It's Almost the Most Wonderful Season of the Year

2011-05-23T07:30:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, we ran over to Hersheypark to grab some kettle corn. It is convenient enough to just grab our refillable bucket and run inside the main gate (park at Chocolate World) and fill up on that sweet and salty yumminess for a mere $2.02. #3 was begging to go on a ride (what a tease to go to Hersheypark and not ride anything) so I relented and let them jump on The Comet. It was drizzling and around 6pm in case you are wondering what kind of a cruel mother takes her children to an amusement park and says they can't go on the rides.

As I waited for them on a bench, devouring the kettle corn (much to their disappointment when they returned to a half-empty bucket) that familiar feeling washed over me. Yes, I was in my Hersheypark Happy Place. Summers with season passes mean wandering the park for a few hours in the evening or afternoons lounging in a chair with my Diet Pepsi (ugh, wish it was Diet Coke) watching them splash in the water park. I dare say these few months restore me to have the energy for the remainder of the months that involve school (mine and theirs) and all the activities that go with that. However, this summer may challenge my Hersheypark Happy Place since I am taking double classes the month of July, #1 is in Footloose (the musical) and I am coaching #3's travel soccer team. I still plan to enjoy my down time as much as possible....in the fall I hope to be working more so this summer sort of feels like my last yahoo.

Summertime gives me more time to reflect. I appreciate the slower pace and the extra time available to spend with family and friends. I can read and write for the fun of it. There is a vacation of some kind to look forward to each summer. And, I like to grab my Bible and coffee in the early morning on my days off work and hang out on the deck before anyone else wakes up clamoring for breakfast and "what are we going to do today?". I keep the snacks on hand for the impromptu pool parties that seem to spring up when the kids invite their friends over. There is mint tea to brew and chicken to grill. I really appreciate these small things....including the kettle corn!

TurboFire - Day 6 (And, A Quick Miscellaneous Thought)

2011-02-28T21:21:00.000-05:00

Sorry that I am boring you with these daily exercise/dieting updates. But, I'm really shocked that I haven't fallen off the wagon.  And despite it going well, I'm actually not much in the mood to talk about it.

There seems to be so much transitioning, especially with my girls.  They are living in the valleys and on the mountain tops recently and I am becoming drained. The weight of responsibility of being their mom is weighing on me. Am I doing enough (or, too much?)? Am I praying enough? Did I say the right thing? Argh. They sure are not getting any younger (and, neither am I!) and I am trying to let go and hold on at the same time.

It is definitely one of those times to press into God. His word, His promises, and His love outshine all the questions and uncertainty.  He creates a perspective that is hopeful....in the valleys and on the mountain tops.

TurboFire - Days 3 thru 5

2011-02-27T21:47:00.000-05:00

I like it!

I really like it!

I feel great. I have been eating well (no sugar!) and doing the TurboFire workouts and I have so much energy that I jump out of bed each morning (after I push the snooze button 2-7 times).

It is not easy, but a very simple conviction struck me this week:

The only way to lose weight is to burn more calories than I eat.

That's pretty profound, I know. Actually I have know that for a long time, but I was hoping for some quick fixes and a revolutionary "Cake Diet" to be discovered.

Weekends have always been a struggle for me overeating and choosing foods that are filled with empty calories (can we say Comfort Food?). With God's grace I had a successful weekend and I feel really good. And, each time I work out, it is encouragement for me to eat healthier.

I've decided that life is too short to be stuck feeling uncomfortable and worn out. I want to have the energy I need to do all that God has set before me each day....and, I want to buy a pair of skinny jeans.

Well....just kidding about the jeans! :)

Houston, We Have a Problem (TurboFire - Day 2)

2011-02-24T22:00:00.002-05:00

My DVD players are both malfunctioning. So, I made it halfway through a workout tonight before I gave up because the screen froze every 6.3 seconds while I was in some horrible position that should only be held for a count or two and not ten seconds.

No worries. I made up for the missing part of the workout by eating only enough food to sustain a hamster today.

Tomorrow, on my way home from work I will be purchasing a new DVD player and I will be back in action. I have to admit I like (not love) the workouts so far despite the fact that they are so difficult to perform gracefully for a woman of my size/age/coordination. And, the fact that my awkward attempts at following along flashes me back to watching my mom Sweating to the Oldies with Richard Simmons on VHS.

It has been entertaining and horrifying at the same time listening to the noises my body makes doing these workouts. Will the clicking and crunching noises eventually stop or is this bone grinding on bone and I should be scheduling an appointment with an orthopedic? It's too soon to tell.

TurboFire - Day One

2011-02-23T22:17:00.001-05:00

Well, I didn't die.

But, I can barely move my arms to type this post.

The Husband and I (and some of our children when they feel like it) have embarked upon the TurboFire journey. I'm not sure, but for my entire day I think I only consumed about 1/3 of the calories that were on my first plate of food on Christmas day. I'm getting the sugar-withdrawal headache. I know from experience that it gets real bad before it gets better.

Because I don't have enough to do with parenting, work and school. They say it will reduce stress, but if I can't do things like move my arms and stuff for a few days, that may cause me a little stress. 'Cause I need to be able to move my arms to do things like brush my teeth and you know, drive a car.

In reality, my clothes are fitting a ~~little~~ a lot snug (and, let's not mention the clothes I have pushed to the back of my closet). So, this is a good thing.

Yep.

Good times.

Chatty McChatterbox

2011-02-17T21:59:00.002-05:00

Gosh.

I miss the days of blogging regularly, for fun, when I don't have to insert citations and make sure that my posts are Times New Roman, 12-point, double-spaced APA style. I'd post my papers that I write for classes, but then my seven regular followers would probably drop to negative two.

But, I am not complaining. College is swell.

I have decided to stop saying that my life is "busy"...I've changed that to my life is "full"...doesn't that sound so much less stressful?? Plus, "full" sounds productive and "busy" sounds like an excuse for not calling my mom or neglecting the laundry.

So, part of my "full" schedule includes #1 preparing for her first high school musical. I was beyond tickled that her little freshman name appeared on the poster advertising the event. Perhaps, a little too tickled, but I'm working through that. It has been an eye-opening experience to the parental involvement expected at high-school level activities. I plan to clone myself when both #2 and #3 play sports and do theater at the high school at the same time.

There are some changes on the horizon...good stuff that I am not at liberty to share right now (I'll give you a hint: my due date is around April). Ba-ha-ha-ha. Seriously, I am just waiting on confirmation and clarity and the audible Voice of God and then I can go public in the blogosphere.

Please make sure you visit the devotional posted at Christian Women Today on March 17 and 28. They were written by little old me. Since my schedule is too FULL, I decided rather than try to sit down and write 365 devotions for a book, I'll have a few random ones published online to keep me satisfied that I am fulfilling that call in my life right now.

I'll most likely be coaching girls travel soccer in the fall to which The Husband asked me: "Do you know all the rules and stuff to do that?". Thanks, Honey. I've coached rec for five years, right? Geesh, the man acts like I regularly bite off more than I can chew (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Yes, I know the important rules.... like only the goalie can use her hands. Duh.

I'm just so glad I'm not a Girl Scout Leader. It is really the one and only activity any of my kids participate in that I am a total slacker. I sold ten boxes of cookies. Six of them are for us. I find myself saying I'm sorry a lot when I'm dropping off/picking up. Thankfully, I can pretty much blame the fact that I am a 40-year old working mother of three in college. That usually helps my case....it is sort of like pleading insanity in court.

I saw the funniest thing on the generic NyQuil bottle tonight. Do not use to make a child sleepy. Is it okay to use to make an adult sleepy? Plus, that stuff doesn't make you sleepy, it puts you in a near coma.

Here is my final thought that I will leave with you and I am going to apologize in advance. Many of you have ridden this roller coaster with me and we are about to strap ourselves in again:

I'm joining a gym. I'm going to be healthy. I'm going to be able to breath in my jeans again. I'm going to eat ice cream....whoops. How did that last one get in there?? Yes, I'm going to try and exercise regularly. Just gonna grab my textbook full of complex theories and words I don't know and read while I run on the treadmills and ellipticals in my designer workout clothes (c'mon, this is how it looks in my little world).

To achieve all of my objectives in the next few months, I have scheduled myself no more than 17 hours of sleep per week.

Thank Goodness Phil Didn't See His Shadow!!

2011-02-02T08:38:00.000-05:00

Being trapped inside with all these snow/ice days made me realize a few things:

1. I know the words to more Justin Bieber songs than any 40-year old woman should admit to.

2. I can't concentrate on my final paper and presentation with kids sitting down at my computer every time I get up. Or, when they argue over whose turn it is to play SuperMario. Or, when they ask if they can have friends over every ten minutes.

3. Facebook and YouTube are way too entertaining.

4. It is really easy to consume half a sixteen-ounce bag of Utz All Natural Kettle Chips.

5. Exercising crossed my mind. I left it at that.

6. I slept more in the last four days then I did in the entire month of December.

7. I have consumed so much coffee, I'm pretty sure a blood sample would reveal a .51 blood-coffee-level.

8. I did not have to rush through completing our taxes...I had plenty of time to search for deductions and calculate how many books, sweaters and t-shirts I donated to Sal Val.

9. Randomly singing show tunes from Little Women entertained me for a solid half hour. And, I sang them badly.

10. I have no idea why I still have a rather large dirty laundry pile. If I can't get it done being trapped in the house for three days, there is no hope.

Spring....come early!!!!

For You

2011-02-01T21:30:00.001-05:00

Hang on.

Not with your own strength....but, take refuge in the shadow of a God much bigger than our imagination can fathom.

His Love can cover a multitude of pain and loneliness.

Look forward. Look up.

Jesus never came to hold us in bondage to a bunch of rules meant to spoil our fun. Rather, He came to set us free. Free from sin, shame, guilt and being held back from the destiny our loving Father created us for.

Second chances. Forgiveness. Reach out and accept the gift He offers you today. No matter the circumstances....nothing can separate you from the love of our gracious and amazing God.

It has nothing to do with being religious. Take Him down off the shelf and out of the box of preconceived ideas of who He should be. Let yourself become like a child and climb up in His lap for awhile. C'mon.

No need to say a word. He already knows your heart better than you do.

He says He will wipe away EVERY tear.

He will overwhelm you with His peace and restore your laughter.

Dreams are born. Destiny released.

Trust Him.

Sixteen

2011-01-27T22:13:00.001-05:00

I was a hot mess when we met.

My sweet husband and I met most unexpectantly and after nearly electrocuting myself and unloading all my "baggage" on him, we became friends (although, I'm pretty sure he felt sorry for me since I somehow acted in a most pathetic way around him). He invited me to his church where I fell in love with Jesus. As much as I love my wonderful husband and all that he has given me through the years, that was the most precious thing he ever did for me (followed very closely by his part in making our beautiful children).

So, sixteen wonderful years (well, maybe more like 1 rocky year plus 15 wonderful years) later, it is with a thankful heart that we celebrate our wedding anniversary. This man is truly amazing. He is patient, hard-working and makes me laugh even when I don't feel like it.

We are both very different people than we were on January 28, 1995. We were young and independent, I guess in some ways selfish and stubborn, too. But, I often find myself admiring him now as he fixes something one of the girls brings to him. Or, he patiently sits through a "chick flick" surrounded by huge quantities of estrogen when we all know he would rather be watching sports. And, I love listening to him as he prays. And, as he gives belly rubs to the dogs or does all the countless thoughtful things that make me smile...I am in love with this amazing man and look forward to the dozens of anniversaries we have together for the rest of our lives.

My First Post of 2011!!

2011-01-02T20:57:00.001-05:00

Wow.

New years. New months. New shoes.

Invigorating, right?

I am thankful for the high, low and normal, routine days of 2010. It all prepared me for what is to come this next year. Whatever that is going to be.....

I did learn a thing or two the other night that may help me in the coming year. I will share it with the blogosphere and maybe it might help some of you, too.

I was out dining for a co-worker's birthday the other night while #1 was at the movies with her boyfriend and another friend. The restaurant was close to the movies, so I was going to pick her up when it was over. The movie actually let out early, just as we were getting our food so I asked her for ten minutes. Unknown to me, she texted me a few minutes later that she had gotten dropped off at the restaurant (poor reception on my part so I didn't get it until a few minutes later). She said she saw my van and knew I was inside but she couldn't get ahold of me. She asked an employee (who spoke almost no English) if there was a work party there and he said we were in the back. We were at the back, but I was sitting in a cave-like booth with my back to the dining room, virtually hidden. She walked back several times looking at all the tables and didn't recognize anyone so she started to panic. She went into the bathroom and saw that I wasn't in there, as she was still trying to call me on her cell phone. She started to get nervous that she would get thrown out of the restaurant so she went outside trying to rationalize that she knew I was in there. I finally got her text and went outside to find her in tears. She had called her boyfriend to come back for her and then I walked out as he pulled up. After we sorted through the whole story, she calmed down and we laughed about it. I kept saying to her "why did you get upset when you knew I was there?". She admitted she wasn't sure why, only that she could not see me and she had looked everywhere.

The next day I realized that I know how that feels. How many times have I believed that God is with me, but I could not see Him? I search and search and it looks like He left, yet I know He hasn't. But, those tormenting confusing thoughts begin and pretty soon I am in a panic because it doesn't make any sense. If He is here, than where is He?? Circumstances, decisions, disappointment, sickness....God, if you are with me, then where are you?

But, that's it. I was there in the restaurant all along. Had #1 not felt like she didn't belong there and looked a little closer, she would have found me. Perhaps, if I look a little closer and walk in my God-given authority, I will see Him, too.

I believe that is exactly what I'll do from now on. I will not be afraid. I will not give up. I will seek out my Father in every circumstance since I know....He is definitely waiting for me.

P.S. #1 granted her permission to use this story! :)

Random Thoughts - Holiday Edition

2010-12-16T22:20:00.000-05:00

I could have sworn last Thursday was Thanksgiving, then I blinked and now Christmas is eight days away? Really?

I have come to realize that Christmas is literally a labor of love (which I enjoy immensely...so, I will not complain at all). I like everything about this season (except the longer lines and lack of close parking spaces):

If you have facebook and read my last, last post here, then you are aware that I've been getting some good deals. Like the photo cards for $4.90 shipped to my doorstep. Never mind it took me a grand total of 2 hours and 15 minutes to create them and #1's head may be partially chopped off and I may have spelled our last name wrong since I basically gave up before I proofed it. There were so many technical glitches that if I would have had to do one more thing to it, bad things like it disappearing without being saved, would probably happen. I could not bare it any longer and just clicked on check-out before the men in the little white suits showed up calling my name.

Speaking of my name, someone very sweet left a beautiful note in my youth group stocking. She looked up my name which means "honey bee" and shared some thoughts on how that translates and it blessed me to tears! I must steal her idea and make someone else cry now.

Oh, some exciting news! My van was vibrating and making some awful noises like the engine was dropping out of it or something. So, I took it into our neighborhood auto shop today and my mechanic said it was way overdue for an oil change, needed a new air filter and some other thingy. He said he has no idea how any air got through my filter. When I went to pick up the van, he had the filter laying on the ground and told me in all his years of auto service he had never seen an air filter that dirty (and, he is in his sixties). My response was to throw my hands in the air victoriously and yell "YES!! That is quite an accomplishment, isn't it?". I now have a legacy, people. I think he may keep that air filter as a monument....like the fake mouth filled with gingivitis at the dentist office. And, the icing on the cake was that whatever part he replaced had completely collapsed and the nasty noise was metal rubbing on metal. Thank you, Lord for my guardian angel.

I have baked more cookies in the last ten days than the entire last eleven months combined. And, we take them everywhere we go. I'm pretty sure Target is going to start accepting sugar cookie cutouts next year as a form of payment. Seriously, there is a plate of cookies on our counter almost every night that everyone has been instructed: "DO NOT EAT". I know most of you can relate.

Our elementary "holiday" concert was tonight complete with second grade reindeer, Feliz navidad and Hanukkah songs. Besides my beautiful #2 dancing to a song with friends, the highlight was the boy down in the front, yellow shirt dancing with his own choreography. It's kids like that who win people money on national TV. Of course, we recorded it. Along with everyone else in the room.

It's too cold to go shop. It's too cold to go anywhere really.

Last night at our youth group's Open Mic Night, I listened to my sweet #1 play keyboard and sing the Christmas song she wrote. Despite being sick, I think she sounded fantastic. And, The Husband didn't do so shabby accompanying her on drums.

Our Advent study has stalled due to sickness and schedules, however we have vowed to finish all 20 days of it, even if it takes until until March. We decided that it does not really matter what time of the year we study about Jesus....I guess I always put the emphasis on around Christmas so I could counteract the materialistic part of it. I would like to think as my kids are growing up, they are starting to "get it". And, when they are not reviewing their mile-long wish lists, I think they do get it.

Perhaps next year I will do a Daniel fast between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Ha ha...now that I typed that it looks so extreme. I guess my point is that I am sick of eating.

To all of you out there baking, cleaning, shopping, wrapping and feeling overwhelmed.....be blessed when you pause from the busy-ness for a moment to think of the great gift of Love given to all of us. Then, put that next tray of cookies in the oven!

My Own Little World is Not About Me

2010-12-13T07:38:00.001-05:00

For those of you who know me well, you know that I am a little on the ADD side as far as "keeping busy". I don't sit much, I am always thinking of what I will do next and I cram a lot of things into a relatively short span of 24 hours. While most of you think I'm a bit crazy, I enjoy it. However, the Lord has been working on my "busy" heart this year. Some days are better than others. I had another gut check this weekend as I was at the grocery store (the second one of the day, I might add since it was a freezer stock up due to the success of the Great Grocery Challenge). This was the first time in months I suffered sticker shock over how much money I shelled out for food. I had been out running errands and wanted to get home to cook dinner so we could head out to church. As usual, time was not on my side since I threw in a couple of stops not on the original plan. I had justified that I was alone so I could scope out a few last minute gifts for the girls, but that was not successful.

When it was my turn to check-out I heard singing and looked over to the Salvation Army bucket. There was a dad and two little girls singing Christmas carols and I thought in passing how cute and I'm pretty sure I would not have the guts to sing in the grocery store no matter how cute my kids were. Nobody even looked at them. Of course, these thoughts were in my subconscious, the far back corner of my brain as I hurried from the store thinking HOLY COW, I spent a lot of money in there. Then, as the door closed behind me it was like waking up from a dream. Why did I just walk by preoccupied and not put a $1 in the kettle? I took another step towards the parking lot rationalizing I had to get outta there and get home. Plus, it isn't as if I don't already give.....c'mon I could go down the laundry list. God was not impressed with all that, He is much more concerned with the condition of my heart and in that instant I understood it wasn't just about the money. Looking down at the tremendous blessing of food in my cart I felt ashamed of myself. I swung my cart around while grabbing my $1 (thank you, Lord I actually had cash on me for once) and went in the "out" door. I stuck my money in the kettle as the younger girl was reading the Night Before Christmas and her dad was helping her. However, the older girl (maybe 7 years old?) turned around and with a small smile said thank you and merry Christmas. I will never forget the way she looked at me....her eyes shining. This entire exchange took all of ten seconds, however by the time I hit the parking lot I was in tears. When I got in the van Matthew West was singing My Own Little World, which made me cry harder. It was like that song was written for that moment! I cried the entire drive home and prayed for God to help me be more aware of who and what was happening around me. I asked Him to forgive me for ignoring His quiet voice prompting me to move in compassion when I was too distracted or busy to pay attention. And, I felt so much peace and joy.

Here are the lyrics to My Own Little World....thank you, Jesus for the eye opener:

In my own little world it hardly ever rains
I’ve never gone hungry, always felt safe
I got some money in my pocket, shoes on my feet
In my own little world
Population: me

I try to stay awake during Sunday morning church
I throw a twenty in the plate, but I never give ’til it hurts
I turn off the news when I don’t like what I see
Yeah, it’s easy to do when it’s
Population: me

What if there’s a bigger picture?
What if I’m missing out?
What if there’s a better purpose
I could be living right now
Outside my own little world oooh

Well, I stopped at a red light, looked out my window
I saw a cardboard sign, said “Help this homeless widow”
Above that sign was the face of a human
and I thought to myself, “God, what have I been doing?”
So I rolled down the window and I looked her in the eye
I thought how many times have I just passed her by?
So I gave her some money then I drove on through
And my own little world reached
Population: two

What if there’s a bigger picture?
What if I’m missing out?
What if there’s a better purpose
I should be living right now
Outside my own little world yeah, yeah
My own little world oooh

Father break my heart for what breaks Yours
Give me open hands and open doors
and put Your Light in my eyes and let me see
That my own little world is not about me

Well I know there's a bigger picture
and I don't wanna miss it now
Well I know there's a plan and a purpose
That I could be living right now
Outside my own little world oooh

It's Happening Again

2010-12-09T20:56:00.003-05:00

I am staying up into the wee hours of the morning saving ridiculous amounts of money on things I may or may not need.

Like my sixty photo cards at seehere.com for $4.90 shipped. Except for the fact that I worked on them from 10:23 pm until 12:02 am and because of cookies and other techy glitches that are beyond my realm of understanding, I never finished them until I slept about six hours and gave it another try this morning. But, hello??? I couldn't get sixty cheesy cards at Ollie's for $4.90 and these have photos on them and our name (hopefully...since I was so sick of starting over 1.2 bazillion times for all I know they could end up just a red and green background with Merry Christmas printed on them and for $4.90 who cares if they do?).

Then, we have my CVS deal where I picked up four Zhu Zhu pets for $9.98 with these coupons (I bought one and got three free). I had to get a rain check for the almonds on sale for $2.50 with my $2.50 off coupon (yup, that equals free).

And, just in case you are wondering if I need to get a life (or some sleep, since 5-6 hours a night is not conducive for my completing my final school project that I work on simultaneously as I surf the web for coupons and freebies) I also have Brita water pitcher coupons that are $5 off each one and Buy One Get One Free...so, even though no one I know needs one, it just makes me feel so good to get a $20 pitcher for $7.50 (I think that's about right...that's why I tell my kids it is very important to study their word problems in math...if Mommy has two $5 off coupons and wants to purchase two Space Saver Brita water pitchers for $19.99 and there is a Buy One Get One Free rebate on them, how much will each pitcher end up costing?). Got me three packs of this $2.70 lip gloss five pack from Target...shipped free right to my home. I also picked up a darling pair of black dress pants at JC Penney for $4.99 (original price $29.99) for #2's winter concert. Coupons are my friend...I just glaze over when a new one catches my eye.....

In my surfing I have also gotten several delightful gift ideas that cost next to nothing, however I am going to be solicited out the wazoo for giving out my e-mail to register on dozens of websites to get free stuff. I like free stuff even more than coupons and rebates....my wazoo will survive.

I am now on a mission to use my $5 off Hungry, Hungry Hippos coupon on the travel size game for $4.99 that has been out of stock at Target (obviously I am not the only savvy coupon aficionado in the area). Yes, my kids are too old for the game but Target will pay me a penny to buy it from them with this coupon....and it will make me even more money next summer when it sits on my fifty cent table at our yard sale.

Go over to Money Saving Moms and become just as semi-obsessed as I am...you'll save some money if you don't mind it costing you time (or sleep).

Advent - We All Have a Part

2010-12-08T07:24:00.002-05:00

Somehow by the miraculous grace of God I have manged to start our much anticipated Advent activities (or, as #3 says, Mom, what are we doing tonight for "Abdomen"? I have no idea why...she never had a problem remembering it is called Advent before). But, oddly enough since our theme is Parts of the Body (of Christ) I guess we can call it Abdomen to be "punny".

I am in the midst of working on my final project for the Class O'Dread I am taking, so there wasn't much time to prepare what we would do. I always like to make up my own Advent theme/activities and the girls have grown to look forward to it expectantly. So, I prayed and felt like the Lord was going to give me ideas like manna. One day at a time. I didn't really like the one day at a time idea, because I am a planner. I felt as if He told me I was more than welcome to prepare Advent activities and scriptures in advance without Him, but if I wanted it to be His heart and life-changing then I was to follow His plan....one day at a time. Funny how I thought I was doing something for the kids and here is our gracious God working on my heart that likes to carry out its own agenda at times when God's plans don't make much sense in that moment.

So, each night after dinner, I pray and God gives me a scripture and literally within five minutes I have a teaching and activities. And, while the little object lessons are fun, we have ended up discussing some deep issues each night about feeling defeated, insecure and gossiping when we were not even aware we do it. We end each lesson with the good news that God can heal us, help us to live more like Him and to be a true blessing to everyone around us! Our main Advent verse is 1 Corinthians 12:12:

Your body has many parts—limbs, organs, cells—but no matter how many parts you can name, you're still one body. It's exactly the same with Christ.

Any other families out there doing an Advent study? It's not too late to start! Here is a link to some ideas and if you type "Advent" in my search box, you will get various posts over the last three years about things we have done. The Internet is also a great source to get additional ideas, but let God lead you....even if it is one day at a time!

"Passionate Patience"

2010-12-06T23:04:00.002-05:00

I love my life despite:

my mini-van with 144,000 miles on it is going into the shop tomorrow for who knows what's wrong with it
the medical bills from #2's procedure that are still outstanding
being disappointed and defeated in certain circumstances
enduring a college class that I have really been struggling in
needing to lose about 30 pounds and not finding the time or motivation to do anything about it

When our circumstances seem as if we get over one mountain, only to find another one, I am comforted by this:

Romans 5:3-5 (The Message version)

There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!

In the midst of the struggles and difficulties I find myself in, something is changing inside of me. I am more grateful for our health and our home and the food we have on our table. I have a hope that when God allows the storms to pass through it is only so that we can grow in character and wisdom. I need to take all of my problems out of the spotlight and instead, choose to shine that light on my loving God.

Thank you, God for a vehicle that is paid for and has lasted us so long.
Thank you, Lord that those medical tests that #2 had done showed us that she has nothing that is life-threatening or severe.
Thank you, God that your plan is bigger than just the parts I can see.
Thank you, Lord that this Law & Ethics class is over in a week!
Thank you, God for sweatpants and stretchy jeans....alright, I probably need to work on this one!

College Mommy?

2010-11-15T19:38:00.002-05:00

We interrupt the Great Grocery Challenge because I have no time for anything other than to have survived a sold-out weekend of musicals that #1 and #2 were in and my current Communications Law and Ethics class (which has been causing me much lamenting and gnashing of the teeth). And, let's just throw in a little bit of normal life stress and blah. No energy to be creative with microwave popcorn, a can of pumpkin and some freezer burned beef cubes.

Therefore, last week was a little bit of a stock up week....oh yes, Pop Tarts, animal crackers and even two boxes of Cheerios. No meat entered the house and I have personally made it my mission to eat the rest of the peanut butter cereal bars (I got us into this mess, so I guess I'll eat us out of it).

But, enough about food. I'm toying with the idea of a new blog called College Mommy or maybe even My Mom Goes to College (a funny little saying that #3 loved to say before I actually went to college). In this new blog I will chronicle whatever I happen to be learning that week. So, for example this week I could entertain you with all sorts of court cases and appeals and defenses for defamation, libel, malice, appropriation and intrusion. Are you still awake?? It's okay because I'm not.

I've had better weeks. Aside from the online CL&E class that makes me want to stick a red hot poker in my eyeballs, dear friends of mine have suffered a recent loss that is heartbreaking. In the midst of this, we are still paying off crazy medical bills and those wonderful end of the year taxes are lurking right around the corner when we are trying to save a tiny bit for Christmas shopping. The Great Grocery Challenge savings helped pay for one of the brakes we had to replace on the Explorer...so much for my wish to use the extra cash as a Christmas Savings Club.

But, here is the super cool thing. I'm not freaking out! In fact, I have such a wonderful peace in knowing that if God is for me, who can be against me?? The storms will come, but He never leaves us. My praise is sincere and my heart even more grateful than when life is going a little "smoother". I found myself praying a different prayer today rather than God, please help us pay off our debt it was Lord, please I want to be able to sponsor another Compassion International child. So, until we can do that, I am praying for His provision to do this and even more!. And, I am sharing a link here with you in the event you want to prayerfully consider sponsoring one of these precious kiddos. Please comment and let me know if you did so I can give you a shout out!

I have made a deliberate decision that I will look for Him, not just on the mountain tops, but in the valleys and even the seemingly boring plains that we travel throughout life. I will rejoice and be glad even when trying to write an analysis at 11pm on the New York Times v. Sullivan libel case!

Week 2 and 3 - Great Grocery Challenge

2010-11-03T11:00:00.003-04:00

The Poor Husband.

He wants Pop Tarts.

I had to tell him that I could not accomodate that request unless:

1. We ate the 20-25 peanut butter cereal bars that are still in the pantry.
2. They were on sale with a coupon for $1 or less per box.
3. Someone left some on our doorstep (brown sugar cinnamon, please).

I did, however, make chocolate chip banana bread with the overly ripe bananas I sometimes throw away because I have no time to do anything with them. A sure sign of our Great Grocery Challenge...within 24 hours the banana bread is gone! It usually stays on the counter 4-5 days until I throw away the last few stale pieces because other, more interesting and new snack/breakfast food has entered the house.

I would call that progress, wouldn't you?

I did break down and buy 2 whole chickens for $0.89 a pound so I could make chicken stock (rather than buy cans of it). Plus, that's a lot of chicken to last us for awhile (one went to live happily in the freezer where there is now actually some room to put things in).

I had a very crazy busy week last week and broke down to purchase the following items that were unauthorized:

$8.99 Chinese Kitchen triple entree with lo mien from Giant (but, all five of us ate it for dinner on trick-or-treat night and I made our own rice to go with it!).
1 box of South Beach cereal bars (for #1 and #3 because it is an easy breakfast and I had a weak moment).
1 box each week of cheese crackers (because they can't eat chips/pretzels with their lunches everyday, right?!).
2 gallons of my favorite Turkey Hill Diet Green Tea because it was on sale for $2 a gallon (that only happens a few times each season and I usually buy 6 when they are on sale like that).
4 packages of Christmas dessert plates and 2 packages of birthday dessert plates because I thought they were cute and were only $1. I was immediately convicted so they are in my car with the receipt ready to be returned. I need more "special occasion" paper products like I need another bag of microwave popcorn. Again, it is a sickness and I must ask for strength one day at a time to resist the temptation of those adorable gingerbread plates with snowmen on them that would be perfect for our annual cookie decorating party....and they were only $1!!! Helpppp. meeeeee.........

Well, as a result, my grocery bill was only slightly over half of what it usually is (remember I am still buying dairy, eggs, and produce on a weekly basis). I am going through my coupons every week and trying to plan better instead of just running out for one thing and coming home with four bags.

There is still a good bit of chicken breast and some miscellaneous meat items left, though I am starting to miss the ground turkey. Maybe someone will leave that on our doorstep with the Pop Tarts.....

Great Grocery Challenge Update

2010-10-24T20:28:00.001-04:00

Just thought you may all be wondering how we fared after our first official weekend on our family grocery challenge. In the event you have no idea what I'm talking about...you can read about it here.

Let's do a little comparing and contrasting.

The Old Melissa: Ran out of paper plates and bought more.
The New Melissa: Ran out of paper plates and used real plates except for breaking open a package of $0.38 soccer ball paper plates that I have about 10 packages of.

The Old Melissa: Went to Hersheypark In the Dark and bought the kids overpriced hot cocoa.
The New Melissa: Went to Giant after Hersheypark in the Dark and bought a box of cocoa and a cheesecake (not sure if that is an improvement or not??).

The Old Melissa: Between running all the children from soccer to play practice we would hit the fast food drive-thru for lunch.
The New Melissa: Packed lunch and only bought a couple of fountain sodas at the drive-thru.

The Old Melissa: offered to bring a few friends home after soccer so a stop for pizza would make the most sense to serve to a group of hungry kiddos, especially after the crazy weekend I had.
The New Melissa: Grabbed some burgers and tator tots out of the freezer and cooked at home while the kids jumped on the trampoline.

The Old Melissa: Would stop for milk and buns for above mentioned hamburgers and end up spending $43 on groceries we don't need.
The New Melissa: Sent The Husband to the store to purchase only buns and milk.

The Old Melissa: Find some reason to justify lunch out after church on Sunday because everyone is usually starving.
The New Melissa: Cooked some lean ground turkey to use as taco meat the night before so all I needed to do was heat it up and viola! Lunch was served!

I think we are doing well and I am shocked at how much food we have left! This time next week may be a little tougher since the choices are starting to dwindle and I am not certain I have ever lived for more than a few days without paper plates and bowls!

To be continued.....

The Great Grocery Challenge

2010-10-22T07:47:00.006-04:00

The new challenge at our house is to cut down on our food bills. I have become sort of a "food collector", For some women, they buy a ton of shoes on sale. Others, may purchase hundreds of flowers for their gardens. I, however, collect chicken breast and microwave popcorn. It's a sickness, so please don't judge me.

Last week, when looking through my stocked freezers (yes, I have 3) and cabinets with six open bags of cereal (not an exaggeration) I had a thought.

I wonder how long we could live off the food already in the house?

So, my plan was set in motion. I decided I would only purchase milk, half & half for coffee, eggs, bread and fruits/veggies until we used all the food already in the house. I would purchase coffee and deli meats on an as needed basis (not stockpile it) since those were two necessities needed to avoid purchasing it outside of the home. The girls have already been packing lunch for school about four times a week and not only were we saving a ton of money doing that, all of them have lost weight! I plan to use all these savings to pay cash for Christmas gifts this year for the kiddos. Or, new jeans for them since they are falling down. Or, maybe just belts since the jeans are nice and new.....actually, I'm sure it will take a full year or two of packing lunches to pay for all their sports and activities!

I digress.

Update for week one....I already cheated a bit.

I had a coupon for candy and CVS had an in-store coupon and it was on sale, so I got a bunch to keep on hand. #3 will need some to throw in the parade with the Girl Scouts and then her birthday is coming up (treat bags!). C'mon, I got five bags of Hershey's and Mars candy for only $6.50!! Then, I saw that Karn's had Turkey Hill ice cream on sale for $1.99 and I had $1 off coupons so how could I not go buy five half gallons when they were only $0.99 each?? I'm only human, people!!

So, I adjusted my little plan. If it was about a $1 with a coupon, on sale and something we would really use, then I'm allowed to purchase it.

When revealing the plan to the kids, #1 asked if we were poor.

Little does she know, her mom is just playing a little mental game with herself. And, hopefully, if I don't keep changing the rules, she may get a few Christmas gifts out of the deal.

All in all, this week (because I had already thrown in a trip to Costco) my food bill came to about 2/3 of what it usually is. My goal is to cut it in half from now until the cabinets and freezers are empty. Realistically, I think we can make it about a month.

On a positive note, while purchasing the Turkey Hill ice cream, out of habit I was going to grab something unhealthy from the bakery for breakfast and I stopped myself. Nope, I can eat oatmeal in the morning. Since there is probably enough in my pantry to feed a small island in the Bahamas.

To be continued....

"I Will Not Dissapear Without a Trace"

2010-10-21T22:15:00.007-04:00

Here I go

And there's no turning back

My great adventure has begun

I may be small

But I've got giant plans

To shine as brightly as the sun

Nothing like a little show tune to inspire me. In the event you don't recognize it, the title and paragraph above are some of the lyrics to "Astonishing" from Little Women....the song that Jo sings after Laurie proposes and probably my favorite part of the musical. In the course of this four and a half minute song, Jo has an epiphany. It provokes me every time and you really need to hear the song, rather than just read the lyrics. You can hear the emotions build and as Jo reflects about herself, the result is a newfound determination. She is never the same after that. While her realization comes in discovering who she is, I'm anticipating some additional time discovering who He is.

Tomorrow, I have a date with God. One hour set aside, free from distraction to connect with His heart. A heart that is so filled with love for me that all the cares of the world grow dim in comparison. Some people may think spending an hour praying, worshiping and receiving God's promises for my life would be better spent doing something more practical. I could be working, volunteering or catching up on my giant laundry piles. However, my heart is eager and expectant to soak in His presence and as a result, all the other "practical" areas of life will find a proper place. After I receive all that He has for me, then I anxiously look forward to helping others seek out what our loving Father has in store for them. Destiny and dreams will be released and envisioned. We have been created for so much more than surviving and mediocrity!

You see, we need to believe we have been designed and destined to be astonishing! The great adventure has already begun.

Here is a link to the song....bare with the beginning, it gets better!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpT_rcBKXOQ

Realignment

2010-10-10T21:26:00.005-04:00

re·a·lign/ˌrēəˈlīn/Verb

1. Change or restore to a different or former position or state.

2. Change one's position or attitude

Every once in awhile I look back on the previous weeks/months and see that my thought process is out of alignment. I have had nothing to write about, no inspiration. I wondered for awhile if I was done writing for good. And, while I was at it, maybe just done dreaming in general. I still remain focused and determined to complete my BA, but when asked what I'm going to do when I finish, I'm left with no answer to that question. In fact, it only leaves me with more questions. Can I possibly pursue a full-time career and still be the support that my family needs and deserves? If I don't go to work full-time after I graduate how in the world will I be able to pay back my student loans? Why do I have such a peace about going to school, yet I feel so restless about what I'm going to do after I graduate? And, while I am in this odd stage of having kids that are helpful and becoming self-sufficient, they still need to be driven everywhere so much of the time that it reminds me of being just as worn out as when they crawled around the house in diapers. Only a box of Pampers costs much less than soccer cleats, softball registrations and homecoming dresses! It is a daily battle I find myself in, knowing that raising my kids is much more important than any career I could have, but knowing one day when they are grown (and, even now) I have my own desires and dreams to live out.

So, when I take my eyes off of the big picture it brings me to this lonely place. I needed a reminder that it isn't so much "what" I do, but "how" I do it. But, even more important is that while I am in this place of uncertainty, weariness and frustration about things not going my way, my heavenly Father could not love me any more or any less. It's time to stop hanging my head and doubting His promises. I have heard His gentle whisper to me over the last few weeks in my times of weariness.....patience. That's it. One word. A word I believe can change the atmosphere around me. Rather than allow my circumstances and obstacles to define me, I'll exercise patience with an understanding that it isn't about "arriving" at any particular destination. I have a choice to take this journey with God going before me...I can be led gently, I can go kicking and screaming or I can ignore/forget His promises.

Therefore, I'm going to chill out a bit....plan better....yell less....write more just because I want to whether anyone else reads it or not.....take care of myself....and most of all, take the time each day to get to know God's heart a little bit more. So when the storms come (and, they will come) attempting to knock me out of alignment with His word and my destiny, I will have an even deeper revelation of His never-ending love for me!

The Parable of the Runaway Wiener Dog

2010-10-05T07:45:00.003-04:00

If you didn't read part one of this story, you can click here.

So, basically to make a long story short, my friend who came to help us look for Floppy is a marathon runner. After spotting Floppy in several different places, my friend saw her and began chasing after her. After a few minutes of running, Floppy eventually laid down exhausted and my friend was able to scoop her up and carry her back to us. She was covered in burrs and in need of a bath, but otherwise, she was fine.

It wasn't until the next day that I was really able to process it all. Then, I felt like the Lord shared with me that many of us can act like Floppy did. We get scared, so rather than run to, we run away from God. Things in life change and in a panic we try to find our own way out and we leave the boundaries that God sets up for our own good. But the wonderful thing about that situation is that He will relentlessly pursue us and search for us when we hide from Him. And, when we finally grow weary and give up the fight, His loving arms pick us up and carry us back to safety. Sometimes, we have to deal with the consequences of our bad choices, but He will lovingly clean us up and carefully pick off the "burrs" that try to stick to us.

So, Floppy is settling in and has not tried to run away again. I'm sure she misses her old family, but what I hope Floppy eventually realizes is that when God writes a new chapter it is always for the best. And, maybe there is a lesson in that for us, too!

We Could All Use Another Good Dog Story, Right?

2010-10-03T21:19:00.002-04:00

Well. Well. Well.

Be careful what you say since it has a way of coming back to you in an unexpected way!

Yesterday, as we prepared to pick up our new addition, Floppy, I mentioned to The Husband that we have always had a good dog story to tell. I wondered out loud what "our story" about Floppy would be. Oh my...

This weekend, we traded our two guinea pigs for five-year old Floppy, a long-haired dauschund from a sweet family that wasn't home enough to give Floppy a lot of attention, but were willing to help us by taking the piggies (since our girls were allergic to them). The trade went smoothly, but it became obvious on the ten-minute ride back to our house that Floppy was clearly upset. She was shaking and no longer wagging her tail. The girls tried to comfort her and we all spoke sweetly to her. By the time we got her out of the van and brought her inside, she was shaking so badly I was not sure what to do. I held her for a bit and I thought maybe if we took her back outside in the grass she would calm down. Since our Dobie was in the backyard, I decided to save her the final blow that would cause her heart attack by avoiding the 100-pound scary dog and took her in the front/side yard. Yup. The one. with. no. fence. around. it.

The Husband was just a few minutes away from leaving for his limo job...he had on his dress pants, white shirt and dress shoes, so he sort of lingered in the doorway as we went out. As soon as I found a quiet spot far from the road, I gently set down Floppy, who exploded like a rocket and started running into the neighbors yard. Through big poky trees. I started jogging after her thinking to myself, how fast can she run on those stubby little legs? Apparently, she can run faster than an out-of-shape forty year old mother of three who did not gracefully navigate the trees. All of a sudden I find myself sprinting down the road yelling HELP!....then, I hear The Husband from behind asking me who I'm calling to help me (Uh....duh...Jesus or the police or the Dog Whisperer, ok Sweetie? It's called panic, I'm quite good at yelling random ridiculous things like that.....). The next thing I see is The Husband running down the road (the two of them were no longer in the grassy safety of yards) in his dress clothes. To which I think for a split second, he looked like he was in a James Bond movie. In the other half of that microsecond, I realize that we left #2 and #3 at the house hysterical, so I sprint (not really "sprint" anymore, since I was already battling a chest cold for a week. I more or less jog/wheezed my way back home) and jumped in the van with the kids and half of my wits about me to drive after James Bond and the Wiener Dog (that title is being copyrighted for a future Brandon Hess movie, Brandon just doesn't know it yet).

I found The Husband a few blocks away in a field. Not good. I live in the country where there are many fields with knee high grass. I realize that the only person Floppy will come to is the lady we got her from (whose house I had just left about fifteen minutes ago). I went to grab my cell phone to call her and then realized it must have fallen out of my sweatshirt while I was running after Floppy. I had to leave the search effort to go retrieve my phone...thinking to myself....WHO DOES THIS??? Who loses a dog less than three minutes of it bringing it home?? And, then loses her cell phone trying to catch the dog with little legs??? I do! I do!

Thankfully, we found the phone, I call the lady and she rushes over to the field with me The Husband had to leave for work and on his way, was supposed to drop off #2 and a friend at play practice. It's all a blur, but I parked in a place where I could have a good view of the fields because when you are actually in the fields, you can't see your own feet, much less a ten-pound dog that stands an inch or two off the ground. All of a sudden, Floppy heard her previous owner call her and began running towards her in the field. Then, The Husband shows up with my friend following him (who came to offer her help when she dropped her daughter off for play practice and learned of the incident). All of a sudden, I'm looking out into the field and Floppy was gone again. She changed her mind and ran away from her previous owner, who was trying frantically to call to her.

Here is where I have to tell you that #3 sat in the back of the van in tears praying through the entire ordeal. I was praying, the Husband was praying and the girls were texting their friends and they were all praying. Tune in tomorrow for the happy ending and The Parable of the Wiener Dog.....

Got Art?

2010-09-23T21:26:00.000-04:00

So, since I got like ZERO comments on my last post, I will keep things lighter and I won't be bitter (haha!). I will say that as I drove to pick up #1 from play practice tonight, the moon looked amazing behind the clouds, the temperature was perfect and it smelled like fall. I blasted some Benjamin Dunn while I drove and realized I probably have not written much lately because I have so little time and focus to pay attention to the beautiful creation around me. #1 isn't like that So, I'm going to post a few pictures that she has taken lately and maybe it will inspire me to write something thought-provoking, life-changing or ridiculous. #1 is quick to run for her camera when she sees something beautiful that many of us pass by. I want my writing to be art like that....to paint a picture with words. She just happens to have a gift to paint pictures with music, drawing, photography and actual paint.

Sorry Forrest, But Life is More Like a Trip to Kohl's

2010-09-23T07:48:00.000-04:00

This may require some thought since I'm using a metaphor below (grab more coffee, you will be okay)...a few weeks ago The Husband was wondering if he would ever get out of driving his truck, he was frustrated and feeling sort of stuck. Then, suddenly with one phone call from his boss, it all changed. Two days later, he found himself in a newly created position in the office, coordinating a pilot program. The morning before his boss called him, I told him to hang in there because I thought maybe Joseph might have felt discouragement at times, looking at his circumstances compared to his dreams.  I am so happy for TH, so glad that he has this better position and has been given influence. But, I struggle from time to time feeling restless. I completed my first class of the semester and am now searching for the answer to the million dollar question....what do I want to do when I finish my degree in three years? I feel like because of my age I have limited those possibilities (apparently, I don't take my own advice very well...how old was Joseph??). Hence, this metaphor:

Do you ever feel as if the things you choose in life are not your first choice?  Maybe you settle for what is safe, status quo or even second rate? Life can feel like walking into a huge department store filled with beautiful things. You want to choose the gorgeous dress on display, but it costs too much and you suddenly start to question "why can't I have this?". Then, perhaps you meander through the sales racks trying to find something attractive, but more in your "range".  You can become frustrated by finding something that you can afford, but it does not fit right (although, it looks fabulous on the lady next to you). Or, maybe we find ourselves at the clearance racks each time....picking over the cheap leftovers with an ungrateful and resentful heart, convinced we will always be stuck with the stuff nobody else wants.

Lord, expand my heart today to be content with in each season of life.  In times of discouragement, please help me to hold on to the dreams you've placed in me that seem so far away. I don't ever want to adopt a philosophy of "settling" for anything less than what I have been called to do, yet please give me the discernment to know that I am following where You are leading. Oh, and please help me to have joy and a cheerful heart in the process! No pity parties allowed!

My Memoir - Part 2

2010-09-06T21:53:00.000-04:00

Here is the last half of my memoir that I had to write for class....

I, too, was very familiar with “Up North”. I lived in Berks County until I was nineteen years old. That year some friends and I decided it would be an adventure to move down to Florida. And, I am very glad I did since I ended up meeting the love of my life there and was exposed to a large variety of ethnic foods that I never knew existed outside of my sheltered life in Berks County. But, now, with a family of my own, my roots were drawing me closer to home. We decided to try to settle down about an hour away from “home” and live with my aunt & uncle initially, both very wonderful people, not much older than us. Other than living there temporarily, we had no other arrangements and didn’t know a single soul besides the two of them. Once the decision was made we quickly rented out our Florida townhouse. I, thankfully, babysat for my last time and The Husband and I began to say our good-byes.

Our last few evenings in South Florida passed quickly with my in-laws. My step mother-in-law prepared many of her signature dishes for us, my favorite being her ham balls. We were limited to this little piece of time trying to savor every memory, knowing it could be a year or two until we returned. I remember feeling the difference of leaving Florida with a family in comparison to arriving there seven years earlier without one. After what seemed like a whirlwind of a week, my family and I drove off and began the journey to our new home over 1,200 miles away.

It was a very eventful road trip. Our van was so packed full I felt as though we would tip over every time we hit a bump in the road. Then, we hit a terrible rainstorm in Georgia. Cars were crashing into each other in front of us and all around us and somehow (angels, maybe?) our van (which was also towing our truck) made it through without a scratch. Of course, it scared us so terribly that nobody spoke for the next half hour until our heart rates reached a normal rhythm after the adrenaline wore off. We decided to stop for the night at a halfway point, which anyone who travels that stretch of I-95 knows that means the infamous South of the Border. I assure you that when you pull in with a baby, a dog and a moving van packed to the gills with all of your possessions, you may have a difficult time relaxing much that night. And, when you have to walk through puddles of unknown liquids and shady characters hanging out in the shadows, then sleep is impossible.The Husband and I took turns dozing so one of us could watch the van and check for unwelcome critters, both big and small, trying to enter our room. At daybreak, we anxiously left there and vowed never to return

We continued our voyage north. #1 and Dixie were patient little travelers. The trip consisted of long stretches of driving, fast food meals and rest stops for diaper changes and Dixie walks. We were so exhausted and relieved by the time we got off the exit and followed the directions to my aunt’s house. I recall that when we went over a rather large bump in the road, The Husband said the van almost tipped over from being so top-heavy with the items in the overhead storage, which U-Haul calls Grandma’s Attic (but, looked nothing like my grandma’s attic). Imagine driving 1,200 miles, only to tip over two miles from our destination!

We relished the novelty of being Up North, The Husband found a job the day after we arrived and we started attending a wonderful church. It was delightful to re-connect with the family and friends I had missed during the time I lived in Florida. My grandmother, Grem, welcomed us home with all of my childhood favorites like baked macaroni and cheese and homemade apple dumplings. Family celebrations were just as I remembered them to be: loud and filled with more food then we could eat in a week. Just a few weeks after we arrived, we were able to assist with a surprise seventy-fifth birthday party for my Grem and her twin brother. That was the day that The Husband tried his first sticky bun. He laughed when we asked him if he wanted one and he thought we were joking with him since he had never heard it called that before (he was more familiar with cinnamon buns)! He thought we called it a “stinky bun”. Once we assured him that it was an actual menu item, he ordered one and I asked the server to have it grilled with butter. He liked the gooey treat so much that he ordered another one, and to this day, fourteen years later, grilled sticky buns are one of his favorites!

A few months later The Husband and I purchased a modest three-bedroom ranch home five miles away from my aunt and uncle, I started working part-time, I gave birth to another healthy baby girl, and when she was just shy of her first birthday, we bought our first Subway restaurant. We always seemed to be adjusting to something new. In the next couple of years, I miscarried, but I was blessed to discover a few months afterwards, I had become pregnant with our third daughter and when she was three months old, we bought another Subway. That was probably the most stressful point in our adult lives. We suffered multiple restaurant robberies, my grandfather’s sudden death, all while trying to adjust to owning businesses as we were raising a young family.

This past decade has continued to be a roller coaster of change; we eventually sold both restaurants and invested in a coffee shop that drained us financially. We moved twice. I home schooled my kids, and then decided it would be best for our family (and my mental health) if we sent them to school. After my grandfather passed away, Grem moved in with us until recently she returned to Berks County to live with my mom. Even as I write this, our beloved cat, Zoe, collapsed today with unknown heart problems and because of numerous, inoperable blood clots, we had to put her down. I have learned to expect the unexpected.

There are days I feel as if I have lived so much “life” in just forty years! The Husband and I are still trying to figure out what we want to be when we “grow up”. Through it all, my faith in God has been the foundation that keeps me following my dreams and persevering in the difficult seasons. I have learned that change is nothing to fear. It is simply a bridge to the next part of my journey.

An Excerpt From My Memoir....

2010-09-04T22:57:00.000-04:00

For my first writing assignment at Etown, I had to write a five to seven page (mine was actually eight pages because I like to use a lot of words) memoir and some of the memories made me smile. I'm not sure why I chose to write about this time period, but I'll share the first half of it with you....feedback is welcome (but, only if it's good...haha!). My theme was "Transition": Human names have been changed to protect the innocent; however, the rest of the story is all true.

I watched our friends and family members load the entire contents of our townhouse into a huge moving van that seemed to swallow most of the parking spaces on San Carlos Circle. I had gotten the next to largest size truck they rent, thinking that it would have plenty of room for the contents of our meager two-bedroom home to make the trip from Florida to Pennsylvania. It had an overhang on top of the cab and we made use of every inch of space. As we got towards the end of the day, we realized that not everything was going to fit, so we began to give away our household items to the people who had come to help us (we joked that it was a parting gift; something to remember us by). A friend got the gas grill, the neighbors got a multi-function toaster oven, and my in-laws got a slightly used set of patio chairs. Finally, after sharing a few pizzas with all of our faithful co-laborers, the house was empty and echoed as we walked across the ceramic tile. Our new life was about to begin, again.

It seemed like over those two years prior to our move, we had quite a bit of transition. My husband and I met and became fast friends, then dated for three months, fell head over heels in love, became engaged and married within a year of the day we met one another. Upon returning from our tropical honeymoon in Jamaica, The Husband discovered his construction company had been sold and he no longer held the same position. Within a week of being demoted in both pay and responsibility, he left on not-so-good terms and was officially unemployed. The honeymoon was definitely over! We had a difficult adjustment period as newlyweds. While The Husband took several different positions that had him working odd hours, I worked two jobs and finished the last of my classes at a local community college. Within the first four months, we decided to move from our no-bedroom efficiency apartment to a brand new two-bedroom townhouse with a sterile, white kitchen and champagne-colored carpet. Because I had a decent job and wanted to finish my bachelor’s degree, we thought it would be best to wait four to five years before beginning a family. That was the plan. I had it all figured out. Therefore, I was very surprised when around our six-month anniversary, I realized that I was pregnant. Despite my “plans” being put on hold, I was thrilled.

In an attempt to practice our parenting skills, I decided we needed a dog. Our first dog, Megan, was a demon disguised as a five-month old beagle puppy we purchased on Father’s Day. Of all the memories of our first year of marriage, she was involved in 90% of the stressful ones. I guess I had mistakenly assumed that since she was a purebred with a high price tag, she would be an easy dog to train. However, this was one of those times in my life I was completely wrong. She could not be housebroken, she never listened and she chewed up carpet, shoes and anything else she could get her paws on. I would come home from work to walk her and she would not go to the bathroom until finally, I had to bring her back inside because my lunch break was almost over. Once in the house, she would run into a room (with the beautiful champagne-colored carpet) and pee on it. I swear she laughed at me as she did it. One time, she ran into the newly painted nursery after our baby shower, jumped on a chair that contained all the cards and peed right on top of everything. Around Christmas-time, I decided she needed an older, wiser canine-friend to train her (because, obviously, my human ways were not working). I decided to surprise The Husband with another beagle and called around to the local shelters on December 23 to find a companion for Megan. At the last shelter I called, I finally had success. The man told me they had a sweet, one-year old female beagle. I raced over there, convinced that some family was already there wanting to adopt a cute, little beagle for their kids to have on Christmas morning. I prayed and asked God to let her still be there so we could be her forever family. Upon arriving, I explained that I called and the man assured me the beagle was still there and directed me to a smelly room filled with hundreds of barking dogs.

“She is down this row at the end on the left,” he pointed and walked out. As I made my way down the aisle, my heart broke for all the scruffy animals that did not have a home. It was so sad. I was nearly in tears when I arrived at the end of the aisle and did not see the beagle. The only dogs at the end on the left were large dogs barking loudly and one sad hyena-looking creature sitting quietly in the middle of the cage. I went back out to the lobby and asked the man if the beagle had been moved. He said, no and walked me back to the cage where the mangy hyena-looking thing was and explained that she was a beagle mixed with harrier, and that was the dog he told me about over the phone. He explained they had found her out living on the streets, clearly abandoned and starving to death. Her eyes melted me and despite the fact that I knew The Husband would probably not find her as endearing, she came home with me that day. I gave her a bath when we got home, introduced her to devil-dog and put a big bow around her neck. When I bathed her, I was alarmed to find that she had lumps all over her, and I knew she would need to go to the vet. I thought maybe it was a horrible skin disease or tumors. Plus, they had spayed her at the shelter and her stitches looked infected. But, those eyes still had me hypnotized and her mellowness was a welcome change compared with the psycho-beagle we had grown accustomed to. And, her biggest selling point was that she appeared to be house trained.

The Husband was not as excited as I was. He had wanted a beagle, and this was clearly a mutt with a little beagle mixed in far, far down the family line. I showed him her gray lumps and he explained they were ticks and that she was going back to the shelter the next day. I was in tears. Neither one of us could bear the thought that she was suffering with dozens of huge ticks, so together, for hours, we picked every one of those blood-sucking monsters off of her while she laid perfectly still. It was in that time of her appearing grateful for any physical touch, The Husband’s heart melted and the only place she went the next day was to the vet. Dixie became an official part of our growing family.

My theory backfired rather quickly, and both dogs wreaked havoc through the rest of my pregnancy and when we brought little #1 home. They were partners in crime, stealing an entire batch of fresh-baked cookies off the kitchen counter and eating every single one, including the Ziploc bag. Interestingly enough, Dixie, the mutt, didn’t get sick, while purebred Megan threw up several times. Laying #1 on any piece of furniture or the floor was a recipe for inviting Megan to come charging towards her at 30 mph. We faced the facts, especially when I broke two toes and was on crutches, we had to find a new home for both of them, and at the very least, the littlest instigator with the floppy ears. She went to live happily ever after with a family who returned her in tears several weeks later. They said that she was the best dog ever, but their girls were allergic to her dander. When the next family came to meet her with their older beagle, she promptly jumped up on the couch, tried to hump the husband and then peed down the back of where he was sitting. We are not exactly sure what sort of mental faculties these people were lacking, but they still took her home that day and we heard that after a bumpy start, she adjusted well (or, they strangled her and hid the truth from us).

It did not take me very long after #1 was born to admit that trying to work full-time and take care of a baby were too much for me. I quit my job and began the excruciating task of babysitting other people’s kids for some extra income. On one hand, I was thrilled to be home all day with my own daughter, but on the other hand it was a huge transition from the workplace to being home changing somebody else’s kids’ diapers. To make matters worse, I babysat a baby by the name of Hunter and Hunter’s favorite pastime was screaming as if I was gouging out his eyeballs seven of the eight hours I watched him once a week. I look back on those lonely days and realize that if it were not for answered prayer, I would have suffered a complete mental breakdown. The Husband and I decided it was time to move our little family “Up North” which is how we South Floridians all referred to any state north of Virginia. I had numerous co-workers who originated from “Up North” and spoke fondly of their memories there. We had many deep and thought-provoking discussions about the delicious foods that could be found there, and only there, such as authentic Philly cheese steaks, Tastykakes, Wonder Bread and the best ever chips and pretzels.

TBD.....

Her Name Meant Life

2010-08-27T20:20:00.000-04:00

It was a sad day. Very suddenly, our eleven-year old cat, Zoe, drug herself by the front paws across our living room floor, flopped down and was panting. Thank goodness I took off work today. The girls and I rushed her to the vet to find out that an x-ray confirmed she had heart disease and a blood clot had broken off into her blood stream and had cut off the blood flow to her legs. She was on oxygen and the vet explained that since she was in a lot of pain, the most loving thing we could do was put her to sleep. I have never in my entire life had to endure this. We said a quick good-bye because I just could not prolong her suffering (and ours) any longer. I signed the paperwork, they put her to sleep and I carried her out in a cardboard kitty coffin that made me feel as if I was just putting a cake in the trunk of my car. Not my sweet Zoe. Because the little dear was just on my lap the night before as I did my homework at the computer. How in the world did this happen, our morning had been so normal??

Grief is a peculiar thing. Each of the girls processed it differently and out of respect for their feelings, I'm not going to get into details about that. Of course, she is a cat, not a human being, however, she was a part of the family and we choose her when she was an 8-week old kitten almost eleven years ago.

The Husband came home from work and buried her on our property with a cross marking her grave. The girls all have friends over now, as originally planned, but tonight is still marked with sadness. It's been rough, but life goes on. Thankfully, during the chaos today, I still felt God;s perfect peace guiding me and comforting me.

Who Showed Up Forty-Five Minutes Late to Her First Class?

2010-08-19T23:29:00.005-04:00

I did! I did!

Yes, the drive that should have been fifteen minutes took me an hour and fifteen! Every move I made to an alternate route resulted in traffic from an accident or construction. I was close to turning around to go eat ice cream and play Uno at home and forget this whole crazy college thing. Thankfully for me, The Husband was on the phone being thankful that I wasn't the one in any accidents. After I realized I would be more then fifteen minutes late, the stress left me. Whether you walk in twenty or forty minutes late, the rest of the class is going to look at you like "What's your problem getting here on time, Loser? There are only three classes to attend and the rest are online". Well, that's sort of what I imagined they would say.

Upon arriving, I tried to park in the lot that was full. I didn't want to park in the parking garage and come out at night. So, I parked down the street in a residential area. I heard some kid yell, "Hey, who is that parked in front of our house?". I scanned the area to make sure I was not in some kind of NO MINI-VAN PARKING THURSDAY EVENINGS FROM 6-10PM spot. I appeared to be okay parking there, although in the back of my mind, I thought it would have gone well with the theme of my night if I came out to a towed vehicle. Just something more fun to blog about, right??!!

I jogged (not a pretty sight in flip flops with my purse and school bag) over to what I thought was the right building. When I had met with my admissions coordinator, she explained that most of my classes would be in the same building we had our meeting. I headed in that direction and when I walked in, I noticed that the name of the building didn't match the name on my schedule. It had one of those "You are here" maps and I had to turn my body sideways to face the direction to know which way to walk. Me going to the wrong building and parking in the wrong place when I am already late is completely in character for me. Had I made it to the correct location on time I would have wondered if I had some kind of alien body invasion.

I arrived at the CORRECT building (thankfully) and bolted up the stairs. At the top, I realized I had gone up one floor too many so I went back down, huffing and puffing. I walked in the class with my head down mumbling about traffic and then realized something. I felt like I was going to pass out from my dash up the stairs after a 75-minute commute all jacked up on 44-ounces of caffeine filled Diet Coke and a frozen coffee drink. I firmly decided I was already too embarrassed to allow myself to pass out, so I began shallow breathing, as subtle as I could until the black spots went away.

The class was a typical intro to "all the insane amount of work you'll have to do in a ridiculously small amount of time" kind of class. On the break, those 44-ounces of Diet Coke were begging to be released, but the ladies room was down on the first floor. I tried a different stairwell this time. The one for the Oompa Loompas. I'm not kidding, it was the width of my hips. If I eat too much over Thanksgiving break, they will have to call 911 to get me out of there. When I came back up the Oompa Loompa stairs, I made sure I stopped at the second floor.

Oh, and by the way....my left brain and right brain scored exactly the same amount on the dominant brain test, so I found out tonight I am middle brained. That may explain a lot.....

Life. A Semi-Rhyming Poem.

2010-08-16T22:04:00.001-04:00

There is so much to ponder about life.
Am I a cool mom and a fabulous wife?
What about me? I'm so busy most days...
I forget if I shaved my legs this morning.

I'm starting class this week....
Brushing up on my writing technique.
What am I thinking, I may be insane.
I'm missing the days playing Candy Lane (ok, not really).

No time to blog.
Or, play. Or, sleep.
But, hopefully, there is still time
to eat brownies.

This is so not a poem,
I'm just kinda tired.
My fingers missed typing,
Three coffees have me wired.

Needed a break from my studies.
I missed my blogosphere buddies.
I'm going to eat ice cream now.
Yes, this is stupid.

It's Finally Hitting Me

2010-08-06T22:04:00.001-04:00

Call it exhaustion. Or, emotional overload. Maybe it's relief. Or, feeling like I played a part in something bigger than any of us thought it would be. I'm not sure. I just know that the tears are starting to fall and I'm trying to keep quiet since there are four extra girls spending the night to celebrate #2's eleventh birthday. Maybe, all the extra estrogen is contributing to my tears, too?

Today, Brandon's video was chosen as the winner of the Great American Video Contest and he is on his way to Cincinnati as I type. He will be attending Sean Hannity's Freedom Concert. His video will be shown at each concert across America. That means hundreds of thousands of people will see me bawling while I make out with my husband on a giant screen. I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around our "fifteen-minutes of fame".

I am so happy and excited for Brandon and praying that this just leads to more opportunities for him to showcase his amazing God-given abilities. As for me and The Husband....well, we aren't going to be quitting our day jobs anytime soon! I realized along the way it stopped being about Brandon winning a Jeep and us being seen by thousands and became more about the people whose lives were being touched and honored by this one-minute film. I love when God brings a bunch of people together who are focused on His kingdom and teachable. That's when the real "magic" happens.

Thanks for voting and all your encouragement! To God be the glory!

Back to School Panic Attack

2010-08-04T23:02:00.000-04:00

Wow. I just received my "learning module" for my my first class at Elizabethtown College that starts in two weeks and I got a little nervous. Actually, all the spit dried up in my mouth and I felt Amazon killer butterflies attacking my stomach. Each of my five-week classes are "accelerated", but in a scary, will-I-ever-get-to-sleep-more-than-three-hours-a-night kind of way. I also have not heard back about my Financial Aid. Talk about a leap of faith...I know me and I can't believe "me" is doing this! I know I enjoy that fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of feeling, but this is a little crazy even for me! I'm noticing I seem to be on the hyphen kick tonight, too. But, that is completely random and unrelated to the chaos of trying to buy books online and by some miracle, actually read most of them before the first class. So, we can discuss them. Like....I actually have to talk in front of strangers. And, a professor. Lord, help me.

Eventually, after I finished reading the 16-page document we can call my syllabus, I began to feel at peace again. A little encouragement from my family helped, too (but, I'm wondering how encouraging they will remain when I get home from work, throw together some grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner and leave them a list of chores to do as I either dash off to class or lock myself in a room to write a fifteen-page research paper). I hope and pray they still adore me when this semester is over.....and, really, it's not like it will be like that EVERY night. I hope. I refuse to relinquish my title of Super Mom. The joy of the Lord will be my strength. I hope.

I've said it before many times...sleep is over-rated.

Who, What, When, How and Why

2010-08-03T22:08:00.001-04:00

What: Honor: Pass It On, one of the top four finalists in Hannity.com's Great American Video Contest. Please vote once a day here. Over 400 videos were submitted and we are so excited that it made the final four!

Who: Produced, directed and filmed by the talented Brandon H.. Hundreds of people who pray for him and believe in him also played a small role!

Why: To honor the great men and women who have served in the military and to win a Jeep Grand Cherokee for Brandon!

When: Vote once a day now through August 5th from every computer you have, your family has, go use your neighbor's computer, your smart phone, the computers at the library and ask everyone with their laptops at Starbucks to vote, too!

How: This is the cool part...filming with Brandon is like being a part of some bigger picture. God kicks up the wind to make flags blow and He showers us with peace and grace throughout the process. I'm not sure I ever prayed so hard during a film shoot as I did for Honor: Pass It On (although, I have always prayed like crazy when doing theater...things like, please don't let me fall off the rolling track stage or Lord, don't let me split my dress, etc....). I believed even as we filmed this video that it would win. I am definitely patriotic and the idea of this one-minute film touched me and broke my heart all at the same time. Why not shake a hand and/or triumphantly welcome our military servicemen and women home? I am inspired and I hope you are, too! By the way, each of those men portrayed in this video actually served in that branch of the military....true heros, all three of them (including my adorable husband I'm seen smooching with at the end).

As you watch it, please say a prayer for those serving overseas and for their families who anxiously await their return.

FC3 Was the Place to Be!!

2010-07-30T22:16:00.002-04:00

I'm barely awake pecking at my keyboard since, over the past six days, I may have slept an average of 6.5 hours per night. That would be just fine if I had not also been playing soccer, floor hockey, softball, tennis, volleyball, climbing a rock wall, hiking, horseback riding, and scaring myself silly on a high ropes course (no matter which of the forty-eight contiguous states you reside in, I'm certain you heard me scream on my way down the zip line in the pitch blackness).

We were at Family Camp III at Camp Hebron for our sixth year. While there are certainly a variety of fun activities from sun up to well past sun down, that isn't what keeps us coming back. It's the people and the relationships that result after a week of basically living, playing, eating, learning and sharing together like family.

This is also a place to do some reflecting. To take a step back from the "busy-ness" of life and focus more on God and family. I usually experience some revelation about myself that I can easily mask (or, try to) when surrounded by the distractions of the normal day-to-day. Whether it be an ability, a gift or a character flaw, this is the place to discover it! There is something appealing to me and completely liberating about walking that high ropes course fighting the fear, yet determined to make it. Then, there is the loss of control when I push myself off the platform and TRUST that the harness is going to keep me safe as I free fall into darkness. It reminds me every time I'm sitting up there...I can wait to drop off the edge for thirty seconds or thirty minutes, but in either case the outcome is the same. The ride is exhilarating and most importantly, safe. Reminds me a little bit of following after God's heart...we can trust Him now or later. Why wait?

I have some new goals and a few things I'm praying about. One major burden was lifted off of me this week. I'm not going to try to figure out everything for the future. I am never really at rest...I'm usually trying to figure out what happens next. God's timing is perfect and when I worry about tomorrow (or next week, month or year), it makes today difficult to enjoy. It can really drain the joy right out of me if I don't trust that God has a plan for me and my family.

If you have never been to a Family Camp and you want to be refreshed, please check out Camp Hebron's website. You won't be disappointed...in fact, it might just be life changing!

Hangin' With My Home Girls

2010-07-18T22:10:00.003-04:00

This past weekend I headed out to Seven Springs Resort to meet up with some gal pals that I go wayyyy back with...decades back, in fact! We are all forty (or, will be soon) and we had been planning our "Girls Weekend" since January. My friends, Cookie Mama (who I met in kindergarten and was my maid of honor), TP Queen, Vanilla J, and Crafty Lady rented a lovely 3-bedroom townhouse with a hot tub that we didn't use and no air conditioning (surprise!). By the way, names have been changed to protect the innocent. They all know who they are!

I wasn't sure if I would actually make it to the actual townhouse, since upon exiting the turnpike Friday evening, I drove into a parade taking place in honor of Somerset's 100th birthday (I think). There is nothing that says adventure like being lost in a town you have never been to before, trying to find an alternate route. With no GPS or cell phone coverage. Ironically enough, it reminded of half of my road trips while back in high school. In a strange twist of fate, TP Queen had been cruising the metropolis of Somerset earlier that day trying to get a tire to replace the flat she got on the way there the day before (and, because she has all- wheel drive, ended up buying four new tires! Happy Birthday to her!). Since she has been to Seven Springs before to ski and around town tire shopping at Dumbauld's Tire Service (that name, however, was not changed to protect the innocent because we cracked up everytime we said it), she was able to give me some alternate directions in short 20-second segments until my cell phone dropped each call. By the grace of God, I finally made it.

We had a blast. I laughed so hard I cried and we stayed up to the wee hours eating cheese, fruit, bruscetta, and most importantly, Cookie Mama's world famous chocolate chip cookies that none of us have ever been able to replicate, even though she has given us the recipe. She must add magic to them. Or, opium, because once you start eating them, it is hard to stop.

On our last night we enjoyed a nice dinner out (despite poor Vanilla J not enjoying very much on the overpriced dinner buffet, little did she know that for 1/3 of the price she could have just had soup, salad and dessert so keep that in mind if you ever go there!) and tried to visit the gift shop on the way out. I had promised #3 a souvenir to let her know I was thinking of her while I was gone and I figured I'd pick up a little cheapo something for all three girls. The only problem was that the gift shop was closed. I thought perhaps we could go back to the townhouse and with Crafty Lady's help, make some little trinkets with our recyclables and pinecones (and, maybe even sell the leftovers on Etsy.com to fund next year's Girls Weekend). We started to look for some tape and then happened upon a large closet filled with ummm.....~~junk~~....lost and found items...and basic necessities like rope, rubber gloves and a badminton birdie. Naturally, that led to a rousing game of Pot Lid, Pan, Baking Sheet Badminton (all the rage in Europe right now) between me and TP Queen while the others cheered us on. It actually worked out well and brought us partially out of our food coma from dinner.

In between deep discussions of how to properly store brown sugar and overpriced toliet paper from Sheetz, we talked about our families and the challenges and triumphs we have faced in recent years. There were so many fun memories of this weekend, but one thing in particular stands out to me. We come from all different backgrounds, live in different places, and have very different political views. None of it mattered. Conversation flowed, laughter abounded and we could let loose around one another...part of what brought us all together so many ~~decades~~....ah-hem....years ago! These friends are such a blessing!

Don't Know Where I'm Going, but I'm Going to Expect It's Breathtaking

2010-07-15T18:52:00.000-04:00

Do you ever feel like you are on the verge of something amazing?

There is opportunity knocking. You get to be a part of something that has God's handprint all over it. After a season of laying low, you suddenly feel pretty fearless.

You have been climbing for awhile and it gets a little tiring, seemingly endless sometimes, especially if you lose your focus. This is the place where perseverance is born. Romans 5:3-5 starts to make some sense. Hope is a beautiful thing.

I haven't put my finger on it just yet. There is no specific set of circumstances, just the feeling in my gut that a new chapter is about to be written. This new season is going to be filled with a greater intimacy with God, void of fear and striving. Just enjoying where He leads with the understanding that everything I have experienced up to this point served an important purpose in the fulfillment of His promises. All the details will fall into place, I'm sure of it.

It's Been Awhile Since These Legs Took a Leap of Faith

2010-07-14T07:44:00.000-04:00

I realized something about myself in the last few days. I am afraid to take a risk. I miss my carefree self, who didn't question God a hundred times a day, "Are You sure? Really, God? Are You sure? But, what if this happens and this doesn't happen...I don't know". Life has a way of trying to define you with circumstances, both good and bad. It is a daily battle I fight (thankfully, I have some good weapons, as in the Word of God) and you can imagine my angst right now as I have put off applying to college since I prayed about it for the last six months! Time is running out to enroll for the fall. I kept reasoning that I just didn't have the time and I could never afford to finish my bachelor degree (I have an associates degree). Then, I felt like God was leading me in this direction, and I needed to believe that everything would fall into place. That doesn't mean it will be easy, it will definitely require quite a bit of sacrifice and a financial miracle. I have to believe that when I get on the other side of this, all the hard work will be worth it. I have to hope that it will open doors and opportunities, not just as an end result, but also in the process! I have to expect that as God works out every step of the way, my faith will increase, too!

So, yesterday, after rescheduling three times, I met with an admissions coordinator for Elizabethtown College. I prayed. I applied. I requested transcripts. I filled out paperwork for financial aid. I prayed. I doubted. I prayed. I chose my classes, in the event I get accepted, since the first semester begins August 16 (there are actually three 5-week sessions per semester in their adult continuing education program). Now, I wait. And, pray.

So, the writing I have been doing may have to go on the back burner for awhile since I will be required to write a variety of sixteen-page research papers for the next few years! But, if I can keep my eyes on the prize and most of all, on Christ, then this just may be one of the best journeys ever.

Feeling a Little Emotionally Drained

2010-07-10T10:53:00.000-04:00

When we signed up to host two female exchange students from China I was nervous. But, I figured it was the nice thing to do and maybe we would learn a little bit about their culture. I told my kids that instead of going on a mission trip, it was like the mission trip was coming to us! What I didn't realize was that when it was time for them to leave, they would take a piece of my heart with them.

We tearfully said our good-byes this morning after two weeks of being a family. In those moments I came to the conclusion, I would never be able to be a foster parent and give kids back. One of the girls sobbed on The Husband's shoulder, telling us she didn't want to go back, that she wanted to stay. My concern that now they knew another way of life was confirmed...they live at school on weekdays in China and only go home on weekends and breaks. They didn't know life to be any different until they came here. Now, after time together as a family sharing meals, playing games, swimming and going out for ice cream, they return back to China to resume a somewhat family-free life surrounded by their peers and teachers for the majority of their time. That just about breaks my heart.

With promises to keep in touch and someday meet again in the U.S. or China, we put them on their charter bus. A few weeks ago I would've thought that I would be filled with relief that I had two less kids to care for, but I didn't feel relief. There was a sense of loss, but overshadowing that was a comforting, peaceful feeling. This was good for all of us and we had some wonderful conversations about how much God loves them and that they are never alone. They returned with Bibles written in their native language and we covered them in prayer before they left.

Our lives were changed and I believe theirs were, also! I really hope we can see them again one day. They were very sweet and if it was actually legal to keep them, we would have!

Getting the Hang of It With Our Party of Five

2010-07-01T11:22:00.002-04:00

Now, don't get me wrong....it has been a balancing act having five kids! Having two extra teenagers to drive around and care for is no simple task, especially when they must be driven through nearly three different counties every weekday at rush hour. In the snow. Uphill both ways. Just kidding about the snow. However, I am blessed beyond words at how our week has been going! There is a peace in times like this of knowing we are walking in God's perfect will. He will provide all that we need and the wonderful thing is that He gives us joy in the process (it's like the cherry on top).

Last night, we took everyone to get some Chinese take-out, which we ate on the deck by the pool (it was a beautiful evening). The girls got to speak in their native language to the owner of the Chinese restaurant and then we all used chop sticks (some of us better then others!). Our exchange students are starting to feel more comfortable talking and playing with us. We discovered that in China, this group of students doesn't go home during the week, they stay at school and go home only on weekends. No wonder it was taking them some time to adjust to our crazy family life! They spend most of their time with their peers and doing homework when they are not in class. Our kids had a hard time imagining that (however, now I can threaten them with that prospect on the days they make me feel like ripping out my hair!).

This weekend is already filled with plans for tie-dying, fireworks, a picnic and Hersheypark! This is turning out to be a memorable summer!

A Divine Exchange

2010-06-28T22:24:00.000-04:00

They most likely will return to China twice their original weights and with all sorts of stories about how they ate s'mores, played Wii and volleyball, swam, went to the theater and caught lightning bugs. In the last three days, we have crammed a lot of American culture into our two Chinese exchange students! When we are not entertaining them, they spend the weekdays traveling with their school group to Lancaster, Philadelphia, Washington DC and NYC for daytrips. The Husband keeps telling me that I don't have to talk so loudly to them, but I assured him that I'm not talking any louder than I usually do. It just sounds like I am because I'm talking slower! However, just because I am talking slower, doesn't mean that we do anything else slow around here, Chinese girls or not. We ran just as crazy and busy this weekend as ever. The only difference is that I got some very strange looks while the six of us walked through Costco and Kohl's for some reason??

They are very shy and quiet (just like us, ha-ha); however, we have all made it our mission to make them laugh and it works most of the time. They especially liked watching America's Funniest Home Videos and The Husband's impersonation of someone playing an aggressive game of table tennis! My maternal instinct kicked in as soon as I saw them, and with each new day, we are all getting more comfortable with one another. As we watched them file in late Friday night, I had a big lump in my throat and tears threatening to spill over as I imagined how their parents must feel being so far away from their precious only children. I decided I would love them like I would want someone to love my own child if I ever lost my mind and sent her away to a foreign country to live with strangers. These beautiful girls are good for my family, since we mind our manners a little more often and try to serve them, as well as one another, out of love and a generous heart. My own girls have made me proud this week, as they often do when I observe some of the fruit that results from years spent sowing, watering and weeding!

I would do this again in a heartbeat. Hopefully, when the two weeks are up I will still feel the same way!

Yay! They Are Here!

2010-06-26T01:06:00.000-04:00

They didn't arrive until midnight, but now we are finally home. Our two Chinese exchange students have joined our happy, busy household. It is 1:00 am and we are all up, they are unpacking and exploring their living space and I am wired from the giant Sheetz coffee I drank around 11pm. It is so cool to watch their expressions and getting them to smile and laugh is positively delightful!

So far, so good with understanding each other. We are trying to keep it simple and talk slowly (a real challenge for me, the babbling one). They are completely adorable and while I know the next two weeks will contain some challenges, I am so happy to have them here!

I Am Not the Crazy Loon Some of You Think That I Am

2010-06-21T19:26:00.002-04:00

I have observed several jaws dropping and eyes rolling when I've shared that we will be hosting two female, middle school age, Chinese students for two weeks beginning this Friday. In truth, I have wondered if I have finally bitten off more than I can chew. It was one of those decisions that was made instinctively, no logic involved (story of my life most days). Now that we are just a few days away, the panic is starting to lift and I began to reason there are so many advantages to this situation:

1. Every famous Christian author writes about hosting exchange students and loving it. I have never once read that they regretted doing it or the kids went wild. So, I figured when I sell my first book it better contain a true life account of being a missionary or hosting someone from a foreign country or it just won't seem legit. And, anyone who knows me knows that as soon as there is a Caribbean cruise ship missions trip, sign me up. Until then, I prefer being the hostess.

2. My garden needs weeded.

3. I'll have a good excuse to hit the mall, I hear Chinese girls like to shop!

4. I've been trying to get rid of my cat. Chow time!

5. I enjoy challenging myself in awkward situations with a language, age and cultural barrier.

Obviously, I'm kidding (except about the cat, who is free to a good home!). I am taking my role seriously and I know I sound naive, but I want this to be such a life changing experience for these girls. I don't want them to just remember our culture, I want to demonstrate what an imperfect family in love with a perfect God looks like on a daily basis. I want to demonstrate to my kids the gift of serving and hospitality, even when that is not always an easy thing to do. We are all a little nervous, however we are excited, too. My anxiety comes mostly from the idea of upsetting the already delicate balance of time management in our home. To be responsible for two more teenagers seems a daunting task. This is where faith and endurance get put to the test and we will come out stronger, if we allow God to lead us. So, that's basically the plan and has been since the day we filled out the host family application. Not our will, God, but Yours!

My Little Women

2010-06-17T20:42:00.000-04:00

My girls do surprise me at times. I never had a sister growing up and I used to dream about what life would be like if I had a cool older sister to hang out with. In fact, I used to watch the Electric Company and I had decided one of the girls on the show (whose name escapes me right now) would be the perfect big sister. Imagine my delight when after each sonogram we added another sister to the family! I never once felt disappointed or pressured to "try for the boy".

However, the last few years have presented some sister-related drama that leaves me wanting to rip out my hair some days. The older girls won't play with the younger girls. The younger sister(s) will irritate to get the older sister(s)' attention. #2 can work it in either direction, which could be why I find her the most challenging and find myself threatening to lock her in the basement some days! They can act jealous, stubborn, rowdy, and whiny. But, I know one thing. They really love each other.

The evidence is around me if I take the time to pay attention. #1 putting sunblock on the little ones without being asked to when I'm not around. #3 helping #1 to practice volleyball. #2 doing #3's nails. All three girls decided to get sweatshirts that matched on vacation and then they wore them together our last night on the boardwalk. Despite their growing pains they have a special connection, one I'm not sure even I can understand.

While all this estrogen is hard to handle some days, I would not change a thing! They bless me beyond words and I enjoy watching them interact most days (unless they are "interacting" over who gets the bigger brownie)!

Because I Like Free Things (Maybe You Do, Too)

2010-06-07T07:40:00.001-04:00

I am breaking tradition from my typical rambling and randomness to post some information that readers may actually find helpful. I'm talking about Summer Reading Programs and free/cheap things to do! Here is a rundown of what I have found:

1. Go to the libraries! Every library that I know of has now gone to an online process to register and log in books for their "Make a Splash" summer reading programs. Here are the links...since it is online this year I think I am going to register at all of them!!

Hershey - click here

Dauphin County - click here

Cumberland County - click here

2. Metro Bank will deposit $10 in a savings account for your child (new or existing) if they read ten books this summer. I can't believe I didn't follow through with this last year! We had already logged books for the library, so I only needed to take the time to copy them over to the Metro Bank book log. I am now scolding myself in my firmest Mom-tone "That's like throwing money down the toilet". Click here for more info so you don't have to give yourself a lecture like I did.

3. Book stores like Borders and Barnes & Noble are both giving kiddos under twelve a free book if they read this summer. Just stop in to pick up a reading log at Borders (I could not find anything on their website) or download a summer reading passport here from Barnes & Noble.

4. Kids Bowl Free sounded too good to be true last year and I was like "what's the catch?” There is none other than you have to pay to rent the shoes! You can get more information and register for the program here.

5. Don't forget mid-week morning movies at many movie theaters this summer. Yes, you have probably seen most of the movies, but who doesn't like going to watch a movie on the big screen, especially on a rainy day? Here is the Great Escape summer schedule. Get there at least a half hour early!

6. Soon, the 2010 Entertainment Books will be marked down to 50% off their list price and you can take advantage of all the Buy One Get One free coupons for places you go to, especially in the summer months. We even ordered one for Florida last year when we went there on vacation. We spent $12.50 on the book and saved over $100 using the coupons! Click here for more information.

7. Go to Chuck E. Cheese with the kid's report cards and Reward Calendars. Also, make sure you invest in the refillable drink cups, if you haven't already. We've spent about an hour at Chuck E. Cheese, first thing in the morning with our drink cups and free tokens. We also get coupons via email and I'll purchase a hundred tokens for about $15 and that should last us for two trips, along with the free ones we always get. Click here to print the reward calendars.

I think that's all I have for now. Please comment if you have anything else that you would like to add to the freebies/super-cheap list!

How Not to Write a Book

2010-06-05T22:35:00.006-04:00

I thought I would share some of my observations in the event there are other ~~overwhelmed mothers~~ ladies out in the blogosphere with a book waiting to be birthed that just continues to sit in stand-by mode. Here are my suggestions (free of charge):

1. When you wake up to a quiet house in the morning, grab your cup of coffee and sit down at the computer to write a few chapters, do not, I repeat DO NOT check e-mail or get on facebook. The next thing you know your coffee cup is empty, the kids are awake and the sounds from Curious George are destroying any ability to put together two sentences.

2. Keep fresh batteries in your voice recorder. That way when you have a clever idea on that half hour commute to work, you don't have to look for the old Sheetz receipt and a dull pencil under your seat to write things down. It also really helps if you actually know HOW to use the voice recorder your husband bought you for Christmas.

3. Bring your laptop when you are trapped at softball games and three-hour play practices. Even though you may find yourself distracted and unable to actually use the laptop, just knowing it is there in your minivan waiting for you makes you feel confident if an idea actually hits you. Of course, the paranoid thought of having someone steal the laptop out of your minivan comes close to canceling out the confident feelings you experience.

4. Set realistic goals. Goals like "I will write one chapter per week, but only when the laundry is finished and I clean the guinea pig cage". Then, with that goal in mind, be prepared to complete the second chapter by the time your youngest child leaves for college.

5. Take it slow, rest in knowing that God has called you to the task, and pay attention to strangers in line at Friendly's who complain that their child's free ice cream cone melted all over her feet and Friendly's better get her cleaned up along with a fresh ice cream cone. Stupid Friendly's and their free ice cream cones that melt in 85-degree weather. Geesh. Yup, there are people all around you that will make it into your book and they don't even know it!

There you go....now, you should be ready to let those creative juices flow and crank out an award-winning piece of literature! No need to thank me....the pleasure is all mine!

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times.....

2010-06-04T07:37:00.003-04:00

The "owning our own business" bug is biting again.

After closing the cafe four years ago and selling our Subway restaurants five years ago, I was done. In fact, I was beyond done. I was traumatized.

It is a huge risk owning a business and we experienced the risk paying off (Subway) and then the pendulum swung the other way to experiencing a risk that sucked the life and money right out of us (Olde Cafe). The uncertainty has kept me hiding out for the last five years saying "I'm not ever going to do THAT again".

However as I end my last two years being heavily involved with our school PTO and the kids are getting older, I am finding myself entertaining familiar thoughts from a decade ago. Why not give it a try? I keep thinking of products that could be successful in our area and how we can look into veteran's benefits for start-up loans (something we hadn't researched before). I have called to get leasing information and I have been praying! I feel like there is a spark of hope in me that hasn't been there in years.

I know that one major thing in my life has changed my perspective of owning a business. The realization that if God opens the door, we should walk through it and if He decides to close a door, I have to stop trying to pry it open. When we opened all the other restaurants, I had faith that God (with my help, haha) could make it all work out, yet there was a lot of stress and striving. I believe things would be different this time. Sure, the stress would still be there to some degree, but I would not allow it to consume me and define me. I already have a peace in not feeling rushed, to take our time and not be anxious about it. And, we are going to start small this time, without having to quit either of our jobs. That was probably the biggest mistake we made when we put all of our eggs in the The Olde Cafe basket.

So, stay tuned! I have no idea where this is going (similar to my writing), but I'm going to hang on and try to enjoy the ride!

Wordless Wednesday....Summer Edition

2010-06-02T07:07:00.000-04:00

For more Wordless Wednesday fun, check out 5 Minutes for Mom.

I Have Some Catching Up to Do....

2010-05-31T11:16:00.003-04:00

Can anyway say "breakneck speed'?

That would be how fast May has flown by while we packed about three months worth of activities into 31 days!

We started May 1st with May Day at school and I was on my feet for about eight hours straight running from various station to station. I didn't even have time to take any pictures. This was the same weekend #1 was in a play at school:

Then, we headed up to Great Wolfe Lodge in the Poconos:

In between all the weekend activities we have had softball nearly every night and #1 reffed some soccer games. Then, #2 and #3 had their first track meet:

After the track meet, we headed out to our very good friends' wedding:

#3 had her field trip to Lake Tobias...

The following week, we went to Philly for #2's field trip.....

The Husband got to drive a stock car in Pocono....

#1 made a "chariot" for their Latin Olympics....

#2 dressed as Tara Lipinski for the fourth grade wax museum:

Our annual Memorial Day picnic turned into a surprise birthday party for me (talk about being confused and surprised since my birthday was in March!).....and, I got a laptop!! I was totally shocked.

Somehow during the month my house got cleaned, my family clothed, and none of the pets starved to death!! Now, just a few more days of school and things slow down for the summer! I might get a chance to put that laptop to use and finally do some writing!

Where the Wild Squirrels Are

2010-05-21T07:37:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I spent thirteen hours on a field trip to Philadelphia with #2 and her fourth grade class. It was a walking tour and extremely educational (to the point of being exhausted trying to explain to #2 the difference between a democracy and a democrat, she kept saying "I don't get it"). In addition, I might add, a little nerve racking to keep my eye on five little girls as we navigated the streets of the historical district. The highlights of the trip were the friendly/rabid squirrel that would not leave us alone while eating lunch and on the way home, we stopped at Shady Maple (which had so much food I was sad I couldn’t possibly try all of it).

The girls were looking for the squirrel after we shooed it away and it started to come back again....this is #2's "scary squirrel is stalking us" face.

You see, the squirrel was smart...the boys ate their lunch wayyyy across the field and would've thrown rocks or Skittles at the squirrel instead of just screaming at it like the girls did.

Okay, here are some actual Philadelphia-related pics:

We found out that after we left, they closed down the Liberty Bell section of Independence Mall due to a bomb threat when a package of unidentified white powder was found. I am grateful we didn't get to experience an evacuation, or worse.

Fireman's Hall...I was glued to the 911 exhibit, remembering that day in detail and the kids had some fun pretending to be firemen and firewomen.

Betsy Ross House

Christ Church...#2 is standing in front of a 600-year old baptismal brought over from England by Wlliam Penn's family. The kids we fascinated that people's graves were right there in the church's floor.

I think this is on our way to Franklin Court...the older people you see behind them had yelled at them and pushed them out of their way at the Liberty Bell! Yay for grumpy old folks!

Statue Room at Constitution Center

Stuffed full leaving Shady Maple (I was lucky to be on the bus that no one threw up in, the other chaperones on bus #1 were not so lucky.)

It was exhausting, but I totally enjoy hanging out with my kiddos and their friends. It also happened to be a gorgeous day outside so that made the day even better!

Confessions of an (Almost) Retired PTO President

2010-05-18T22:36:00.003-04:00

I'll try not to bore you with the flashbacks of attending my first PTO meeting at our elementary school worried I was about to be shunned by the desperate housewives that run PTOs (and, how very wrong I was about that). Or, I will not carry on with any of the accomplishments and drama that kept my heart racing and added to my gray hair collection. No, after presiding over tonight's final meeting and the election of the new officers for next year, I find myself in a place somewhere between relief and uncertainty. Did I do enough? Where do I go from here?

Tonight's meeting was a moment that will stay frozen in my memory. When you invest in something, you realize how much it costs when it is time to give it away. And, you don't want to give it away to just any person. I was relieved to hand off the baton to a couple of wonderful people who are extremely qualified as leaders and human beings for the task at hand. While I am excited for what my future holds (because God doesn't finish one chapter without writing another one, right?), there is a part of me that feels sad as this season comes to an end.

However, these deep, bittersweet thoughts pretty much end here. In the next few weeks, I will be ready to celebrate retirement, take my pats on the back, support the new leaders, and move on to the next leg of my journey (which for the summer translates to reading a good book by the pool!).

Sleepless in PA

2010-05-14T23:32:00.000-04:00

Just ate a cupcake and now I'm too sugared up to go to sleep.

Just watching Lee & Crystal sing Falling Slowly for the eight billionth time on YouTube.

Everytime I watch Lee & Crystal I wonder why I can't sing like that and be on a stage with pretty pink and purple lights shining on me.

That thought leaves me wondering what exactly I am going to do when I grow up since I'm too old, and I have no musical ability for American Idol.

Listened to the space shuttle launch today and wondered if I would make a good astronaut.

Wondering when, if ever, I am going to hear back from the magazine editors I sent a few stories and ideas to.

Wondering what exactly is Spam.

Slightly worried I am going to lead a boring life.

Forgot how chubby my arms look in short-sleeved shirts.

Wanting to sign up for Zumba classes.

Maybe I'll eat another cupcake.

It has been at least three minutes since I listened to Lee & Crystal sing Falling Slowly.

Guinea pigs are nocturnal.

Guinea pigs poop a lot.

Every animal in our house would have starved to death by now if I didn't live here.

Can't wait to see the new Shrek movie.

It's probably too late to bake brownies.

There is way too much gray in my hair.

I'm close to abandoning my book project for a decade or two.

Whew. Now, I'm tired.

How To Tell if a Pregnant Goat is a Male or Female (and, Other Fun Stuff)

2010-05-13T22:43:00.002-04:00

Is it the fact I turned forty the reason that nostalgia seems to hit me more often or at unusual times? Today, as I watched #3's second grade class do the pledge of allegiance before we left for our field trip I had such a lump in my throat. I remembered my elementary school days, my field trips, then #1's & #2's field trips and then landing at the sad reality that my field trip days are starting to end. The feeling rather reminded me of when I gave away my last pack of diapers and packed away the crib for #3. Yup, pretty much like a kick in the gut.

There was not much time to linger in those thoughts as we boarded the school bus to take us to Lake Tobias Wildlife Park. Upon sitting down, I realized I had the seat with the "hump" (what was it, the spare tires??). Then, #3 and a friend sat with me. Oh goodie. We were tightly packed into the bus, three to a seat. That's fine when you are under the age of twelve, but mommies should NEVER have to sit three to a seat. for an hour. on the hump seat.

So, with my knees almost touching my chin, I folded myself into a fetal position by the window. I figured I was safer being squashed in there rather than on the aisle seat where a bump in the road could leave me sprawled on the floor. Thankfully, after what seemed like we drove to Florida and back again, we arrived at Lake Tobias. Please allow me the indulgence of plugging this wonderful place. I have been here many times before and it does not grow old. It is family run and I learn something new every time I go (yes, I am starting to sound like a total dork now). They have Safari Tours, which are buses with the tops cut off, and the animals come right up to you if you wave a cracker at them. There are amazing animals to see like Zee-Donks (half zebra/half donkeys....sorry Hershey, but it makes your zoo look very bor-ing). We visited the Reptile House for the first time and #3 was surprised there were no dolphins there. What in the world do they teach them at school? Then again, #3 usually keeps us entertained with her complex thought processes....

Since it was May, pretty much every female was showing signs of being pregnant, including a goat in the petting zoo that had to be carrying a ton of babies...she looked like a Christmas ornament if you held her up by her neck. At first, her horns threw me off and I asked some other parents if it was a male...they laughed and said there was one sure way to tell. So, I looked under the goat and seeing only one udder (which I mistakenly thought was a male goat part) I concluded that it must be a male with a large tumor in its stomach. Thankfully, I think everyone thought I was kidding because as they were laughing I looked again and saw the other udders....ruling out my original conclusion. I just backed away and started petting some other goats. Subtle and smooth. Yeah, that's me.

While curled up on the ride back home with my right leg numb, I took a moment to thank God that I get to share these times with my kids. I always have a great time watching them enjoy these "mental health" days where we all escape reality for a few hours to just have some fun!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-12T07:35:00.001-04:00

What to do at a wedding when you don't want to eat your vegetables....

For more Wordless Wednesday fun, head over to 5 Minutes for Mom!

A Little Live American Idol Blogging

2010-05-11T21:09:00.009-04:00

Lee - (Kiss from a Rose by Seal)......You rock. Randy and Simon are just being mean kitties. You sounded amazing, as usual, and that was a great song choice for you. You and Crystal will make it down to the final two and I must say you are starting to pull ahead as my favorite after weeks of being a close second behind Crystal. I cannot wait to see your duet with her tonight.

Big Mike - (Will You Be There by Michael Jackson).....I think they have a place for you on Broadway....but, not American Idol. Sorry, my big, intimidating friend. I did like the song choice though and your voice sounded very good, but the judges feel you are becoming too predictable. I'm wondering who peed in Randy's cheerios tonight, however, I enjoyed Simon's confusion over the Free Willy connection.

Lee & Crystal (Falling Slowly) .....oH. mY wORD. Thank you American Idol for pairing up these two for a duet. You both need to go on the road together, get married, and have a bunch of musically talented children. I must agree with Kara....that was probably one of my favorite moments of the season. I am going to need to re-play that one. And, no worries, Crystal....we all have a musical crush on Lee. Even my husband.

Casey - (Mrs. Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel) .....You were okay. I feel so bad for this guy because the Cougar has just caused such awkwardness. Loved Ellen's comment about wishing they had given him a big boy guitar. I have to totally agree with Simon. He just didn't deliver tonight and except for that glorious golden hair that I personally would like to have, he just doesn't stand out anymore.

Crystal - (I'm Alright by Kenny Loggins) ....I thought that was an interesting song choice given Caddyshack is such a deep and dramatic film?? Then, you rocked my sox off! Hello Simon? She was never out of the game. It was nice to meet your boyfriend. I had pictured a pale, emotionless Bohemian in a black turtleneck, not a cute guy in American flag pants.

Big Mike & Casey - (Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman by Bryan Adams)....I prefer Casey's hair in a ponytail. I felt a little creeped out hearing Big Mike sing some of the lyrics with such a tight, close up camera shot. Ellen, I'm sorry, but we don't really need to hear that you've loved a woman. Ew. Stay funny, perky, and G-rated, please.

Who do you think is going home?

Hoping to be Published Sometime Before My AARP Membership Arrives in the Mail

2010-05-10T22:48:00.003-04:00

We interrupt the thought process of starting a writing project (haha, that's me trying not to say the words "writing a book") for some bloggy time. Every time I sit down to work on the "writing project" I get so distracted! At the rate I am progressing I will have my grandchildren's names included in the dedication section....but, anyways.....It's just been such a wonderful, yet jam packed last few weeks. Our wonderful friend "Peter" (names have been changed to protect the innocent, haha!) married an amazing woman on Saturday and after celebrating their special day, I got to celebrate Mother's Day Sunday at Hersheypark with my mom, GAS, my brother, sister-in-law and of course, The Husband and girls.

I have bunches more wedding pictures, but they are somewhere on #1's camera which is MIA at the moment. Here are just a few from the weekend:

#2 caught the bouquet!

Mother's Day:

At the end of this ride my mom just said quietly, " I think I just died."

I was driving the antique cars and we were all acting like I was driving across town late for soccer practice!

We joked that GAS looked like a Russian spy in her hoodie and glasses!

Wolves and Waves and Bears...Oh My!

2010-05-05T23:22:00.004-04:00

Our fam headed up to The Great Wolf Lodge in the Poconos for a lovely overnight stay this past Sunday. The Husband was supposed to drive a stock car in the morning, but it was rescheduled due to the rain. We did not have to pay for our hotel because the Pocono Racing Experience people messed up The Husband's surprise and sent him a confirmation in his name even though I asked them 7.3 billion times not to do that. Because they goofed up, they picked up the tab for a family suite at this amazing resort with an indoor water park. I thought I would share the highlights:

• We arrived there at 1pm and although our room was not ready, we were given our wristbands for the water park. The wristbands also served as our room keys and we would receive a text when our room was ready. Despite it feeling so Big Brother-ish I liked the convenience of this set up. If you lose a wristband, though, plan to pay $40 for a replacement. I surgically attached them to the children.

• We got our text that the room was ready after an hour and a half in their fabulous water park. As I was waiting in line to check in, there was a couple ahead of me. The woman was squirting hand sanitizer all over her hands, then she put it on her husband, who licked his hand. Twice. Then, she squirted more into his hands until it was dripping on the floor. I couldn't keep my eyes off them and I really couldn't wait to tell the blogosphere about the germ-a-phobes at the front desk. It made the wait pass quicker to watch them. I think once they got to their room they probably bathed in it.

• We stayed in The Wolf Den. This was a “suite” with a queen size bed, a pull out couch and then off in the corner partitioned from everything else was the "den", which contained bunk beds and a TV. Need I say more? It was a huge hit for #2 and #3.

• For all the money we saved not paying for our room and entry in the water park, we dropped it on the dinner buffet that night. Ouch. It's a good thing I ate my weight in shrimp and tomato mozzarella salad.

• If you over the age of 18, plan to be sore the next day. It takes muscles you don't normally use to hoist yourself repeatedly into an inner tube. Especially when your husband and youngest daughter find it amusing to dump you out of the inner tube while you are trying to relax in the wave pool. The ropes and floating lily pads kicked my butt, too.

We can't wait to go back! #3 sobbed as we were leaving. She asked if we could move there! I, on the other hand, limped out sore and overly chlorinated, but with a relaxed smile on my face!

The Question of the Week?

2010-04-28T22:53:00.004-04:00

I know I've thought about it a few times this week. The drama. The physical and emotional drain. The overwhelming feelings that suck any sane thought from my brain....the question that keeps burning in my soul....

Will I survive the last month as PTO president without going postal?

There is a reason it is a two-year term limit. And, oddly enough, nobody is lining up to be my successor.

Alright, just admitting that makes me feel better. In addition, I think the experience has helped me to learn to play better with others. However, we are only 58 hours away from our biggest event of the year that I've somehow allowed myself to be sucked way too deep into. Maybe the 3.2 hours of sleep I am getting each night has something to do with being sensitive and cranky. On the other hand, maybe it is some of the people I must work alongside. Or, maybe it is the people who do nothing at all. Or, maybe it's me. Bingo! We have a winner! I can't take responsibility for what other people do and say, but I certainly need to take responsibility for how I react to them. Time to approach this from a different angle....

I will now focus on the reason I am involved in PTO. For my children. For my children's classmates and their families. And, because I like to plan events and everything else in my little world. I am not there to feel insecure, defensive, and intimidated so I will stop all of that right now. I am now removing the chip off of my shoulder and I will step down off of my soapbox to move forward with confidence. Then, maybe I'll try to get an extra hour or two of sleep!

Happy Earth Day? Or, Happy My Purse Didn't Get Stolen Day?

2010-04-22T22:34:00.004-04:00

The family and I decided to go out to dinner tonight to celebrate Earth Day. No, not really to celebrate that...it was more like it was the only night in three weeks we did not have to take someone somewhere for some kind of activity/commitment. That seemed worth celebrating over some Mexican food...that and the buy one get one free coupon burning a hole in my Entertainment Book. But, speaking of Earth Day (let's go off road for a moment, okay?), I'm all about saving the planet, going green, peace out, Dude, but really? Americans will make up a holiday for everything....next month it's Air Day, then don't forget my personal favorite, Water Day.....ummmmm. yeah. I say this with total sincerity after receiving a beautiful flower arrangement from my co-workers for Administrative Professionals Day. Oh. My. Word. I feel guilty they sent me flowers for doing my JOB. Although, they were very pretty and smelled good, too. I just feel bad when people are pressured by the greeting card industry to celebrate something that is not that big of a deal.

Okay, back to the story. We headed out to one of our family's favorite restaurants about 15 minutes from home. As we were nearing the restaurant, we noticed some people help push a car into a gas station. I commented that there are still nice people in the world. I see people being kind to other people often, much more so then people being rude. We come from a geographic area that is not really known for their friendliness but I was insisting to The Husband how many nice people I see showing kindness to strangers.

That's where I probably went wrong. My theory was going to be tested.

We had a lovely meal and I asked The Husband to pay the bill because my giant black "purse" was hanging awkwardly on my chair. I have a love/hate relationship with this monstrosity. It is my "winter purse" so it should already be packed away. You could easily fit a laptop (and, possibly even a desktop, monitor and keyboard) in it and just today when I turned around in a store I knocked something over. I whack people in the head while walking past them in movie theaters and in church and I'm always apologizing....it's almost like having a naughty child to deal with.

Therefore, the question is...... how could I have left the restaurant and driven all the way home only to realize I LEFT IT IN THE RESTAURANT???????

We need to pause for a brief intermission here...this is a long post tonight. Go use the bathroom, grab a drink and I'll wait.

Okay, time's up. I hate that sudden realization that something terrible has happened and so many thoughts hit you at one time you can't put a sentence together. Somehow, without actually using words, The Husband got out of the van and hurried the children inside where I know he would call the restaurant while I raced back over there. He left me his cell phone since mine was in the purse/suitcase at the restaurant where no one really spoke any English....Jesus, help me!! Within sixty seconds, I was peaceful and confident that no matter what the outcome, God would not be surprised and that He was watching over me and my purse. Therefore, I decided to do the speed limit.

The Husband had #1 shoot me a text five minutes down the road: They have it.

I responded: Whew.

Thank you, Lord. I looked down and then remembered that my gas tank was on "E" when we left the restaurant the first time and I figured I'd stop somewhere nearby in the morning. That plan wasn't going to really work for me now since I had no purse, which had all my money and credit cards in it. So, I prayed again.

Okay, God. Please don't let that car we saw earlier be a prophetic symbol for what I was about to experience. I ask that you supernaturally get me where I need to go.

I arrived at the restaurant (below empty on the gas tank thingy, I might add) and jogged inside. I was greeted right away by the same guy who sat us an hour earlier and explained I was here to get my purse, my husband called, blah, blah...he asked another person working, who asked another person working and they were all speaking Spanish and waving their arms around like "Huh?". The only thing I knew they were NOT saying was "the lady's purse is right here". Panicky feelings started to return, yet I was puzzled? What happened from the time The Husband called to the time I arrived? Did some kitchen helper grab it and was on his way to the casino with my Kohl's card and the $1.02 in change I had in my wallet? At some point, (it's kind of a blur), I pointed to where I was sitting and there my purse was, just where I left it. Oddly enough, all the people sitting at the tables were staring at me and trying not to laugh. An older couple approached me and said they waited for me to come back and they knew it would not be long since I would notice if something THAT BIG was missing (which mildly offended me that they insinuated my purse was size-challenged). I was touched when they explained that they stayed and watched it for me and would’ve turned it in had I not returned for a few hours. I thanked them and then felt the need to explain that my husband had called and the employee just said "Yup, it's here" and THEN LEFT IT AT THE TABLE. Oy ve.

It wasn't until I was driving to a neighboring gas station that I realized maybe I should've bought them a Choco Taco to thank them or at least gotten their address. I'm sure Hallmark has some kind of greeting card for the occasion...For the kindness you showed me in the Mexican Restaurant on Earth Day....I just wanted to say.....THANKS A BUNCH for not letting someone steal my purse. They did prove my point that there are nice people in our region.

In the event the ordeal wasn't already stressful, I had to pee the entire time. I only pumped about eight gallons of gas into the van and then headed home a happy woman with my purse/suitcase and a bladder the size of Lake Erie.

AI Was Kinda Boring So I Wrote This Instead

2010-04-20T23:14:00.010-04:00

I would have blogged about American Idol tonight, but there really is no American Idol...it's the Crystal and Lee show and I wish both of them could win because they are so talented. But, anyhoo...enough about them. Let's talk about me.

I thought I was due for just a random post about nothing especially important or related. Tonight, The Husband and I had to divide and conquer for softball games at different fields. Both #2 and #3 won their games tonight (woo-hoo, brag, brag), while my sweet #1 worked concessions for her poor injured-thumb mother who somehow got lucky enough to be the first mom assigned the dreaded task for the season. The only time I like to work concessions is when my thumb is not injured, it is crazy busy with people screaming for food and I get to run around like a chicken with my head cut off. I could do that for hours. Seriously. Chaos is my drug of choice.

While at the game I made an appointment for my first pedicure of the season (which was actually quite funny because the mom sitting next to me thought I looked at her feet and said to myself ”Ewww, I better make an appointment for a pedicure so my feet don't look like hers"....we chuckled over that one and the poor woman making my appointment was getting irritated because she kept saying she couldn't hear me). My feet are not aging well and were never, I repeat never, appealing to begin with. Poor wretched things...my mom always told me I had ugly feet because I was a dancer. What she really meant was that she had ugly feet and it is obviously genetic.

Another medical bill rolled in this week. God's "suddenly" is bigger and better I reminded myself. Then, I told The Husband to stop bringing the mail inside for a few weeks. When it starts oozing out of the mailbox then he can bring it in. I just need a break because I am certain that there has to be someone in the medical field, like a custodian somewhere at the hospital, who has not billed me for his share of #2's upper GI scope.

I enjoyed a belated birthday lunch with a wonderful friend today who I don't get to spend nearly enough time with. She is the kind of friend who makes you burst out laughing, slapping the table oblivious to the fact that the people in the restaurant are laughing at you laughing. I feel refreshed now....maybe that was what motivated me to make that pedicure appointment. It's really okay to take some time to do something for myself occasionally.

Lastly, we are quickly approaching our elementary school's May Day (which should actually be called May Hem). It is my last major event as PTO co-president and then my term will end. Oddly enough, no one wants to replace me and the other co-president. One mom said she would rather be institutionalized. After May Hem, I may have to steal that idea. It has been an ordeal and one that was handled in previous years by two women who want nothing to do with it this year. I'm starting to understand why. On the bright side, I can probably become a successful telemarketer after it's all over because that’s basically how people treat you when you ask them to volunteer for a half-hour shift at Pick-A-Duck.

I leave you with this thought tonight....thumbs are terribly under-rated.

Suddenly (I'm Not Talking About the Love Song from Xanadu)

2010-04-18T21:37:00.007-04:00

I have experienced a few "sudden", out-of-the-blue circumstances this week that have not been very pleasant. First, I nearly broke my right thumb playing tetherball. Then, #2 started having some serious girl drama issues at school and came home sobbing for the first time this school year. One minute I felt like I wanted to go off on the school about it (she and her friends were pulled in for counseling and are now being told they can't talk to each other for a week, not even to say "Hi"). The next minute I felt like Iwas going to pull my hair out trying to talk to #2 when she insisted she was not going back to school (thankfully, that part has already passed). This is all new! My final "suddenly" for the week came last night when I opened the mail to find shocking amounts of "patient responsibility" on the insurance forms for #2's upper GI tests and both girls’ oral surgeries to have a gazillion teeth pulled.

The stress was starting to build...it had been years since I had experienced panic attacks, but I could sense that restless feeling coming on at night. So, I prayed. Not just about the actual situations, but also about anything and everything else that came to mind. That serves the devil right for tormenting me; it just made me want to pray more!! Then, I asked God this morning...what's up with all these sudden setbacks? And, in that instant I sensed Him answer:

"My "suddenly" is much bigger and much better than what you've experienced this week. I have the power and desire to right all those wrongs and bless you beyond what you had before."

I absolutely believe that with all my heart. God has done it before and He'll do it again! My thumb will heal better, #2 will have stronger friendships and our finances will multiply. This week was just another test to stand strong in and remember that my circumstances do not define me or my family. I will praise Him and be grateful that when life knocks the wind out of us, He breathes refreshing back into us! Then, it is up to each one of us to pass that refreshing on to those around us in need of some encouragement.

It's Not the Age, It's the Attitude!

2010-04-07T22:28:00.003-04:00

Forty arrived a week ago today. I felt like queen for a day and got to spend the day celebrating with family and friends. A few days later, I promptly went out and bought a pair of Aeropostale sneakers (I would've bought a t-shirt, but since their XL is made for someone who weighs about 105 pounds, I stuck with footwear). That'll show people who thinks she's forty!

I also got my new haircut. Something layered with long bangs...and, I've been wearing a Silly Band that #3 gave me. That's almost as good as having my own WebKinz. And, my Silly Band glows in the dark. If I get any more cooler and hipper, I may need to go buy a convertible. I'm just sayin'.....ha-ha!

It helps to spend time with the teenagers in our youth group! Tonight, we danced, jumped, shouted, hugged, prayed, and ate pizza together. There is something invigorating about recognizing and encouraging the destiny in someone's life!

Celebrating forty years is such a gift! I appreciate the days more....each one is so packed with the potential to make a difference in someone's life. I don't know about you, but that gets me pumped!

My Birthday Bed & Breakfast Experience

2010-03-31T22:30:00.002-04:00

At around 6:45am, I was told to go back to bed by #2 and #3 (they didn’t have to ask me twice!). You see, today was my birthday and they were determined to make it special! I heard many things clanging around in the kitchen, some bossy instructions given, and then a few minutes later, the smoke detector going off. Just like when I cook! They were chips off the forty-year old block! Before I could leap out of bed, I was told "everything's okay" and the fan above the stove clicked on. Smoke alarm stopped. Smoke alarm started again. Again, that is a somewhat normal occurrence with me and I was reassured a second time that everything was okay. I hear a little more arguing and then my breakfast "tray" was delivered bedside. On it I had two very think pancakes spread with grape jelly (we must have been low on the strawberry jam), sliced apples and bananas, apple juice and coffee that was so strong I sprouted three chest hairs when I took a sip. But, the looks on their faces were priceless so I choked it down!

Then, they left me alone to enjoy my breakfast in peace (which I shared with The Dog...I'm just not a big breakfast eater that early in the morning and I didn't want to hurt their feelings). I was just so delighted that they took the time to bless me this morning! They tried their hardest to make me a tasty breakfast without burning the house down in the process. Then, #1 gave me the sweetest, handwritten card at a little surprise shindig The Husband put together after dinner. What a wonderful family....

I am one incredibly blessed woman! Thank you, Lord!

FORTY Eight Hours (Gulp)

2010-03-29T22:24:00.001-04:00

Three months ago turning forty didn't seem so bad, in fact, it seemed somewhat exciting. I made my little, unrealistic "to do" list for the year. I mean my thirties were far better than my twenties, so I was ready to take it to the next level....c'mon forty. Bring it. Show me what you got.

However, two days before this momentous occasion I'm not feeling so adventurous right now. I just feel so. Not. Thirty-something. As if my own body has prepared to cross this bridge to the middle-aged side, I have dark circles under my eyes that seem to shout to the world "I'm going to be forty and look, it ain't so pretty!". And, the most startling question remains...Am I now too old to wear flip-flops?

Don't get me wrong...I'm still smiling (despite worrying that all that smiling and laughing I do is wreaking havoc on my crow's feet and every other wrinkle on my face). I moisturize and color my hair a little more often than I used to. Bermuda shorts are as short and daring as I will go and I'm considering a one-piece bathing suit with an ankle length skirt sewn into it (something circa 1902, VINTAGE, baby). But, it's still me....busy little bee. I can still cartwheel through the backyard and somersault off the diving board (neither of which is graceful in the least bit, but I do not kill myself performing them and that's what really matters). I can get three different kids to three different activities within a thirty-mile radius all in the same night, find them all at some point, and bring them back home. And, of course, I'm still leaping those tall buildings in a single bound...or, something like that.

Forty...not quite over the hill, more like reaching the peak and enjoying the view for a season (I hope!)!

An End in Sight?

2010-03-25T09:33:00.001-04:00

My sweet #2 has completed what I think is the last "test" since July for her undiagnosed stomach pain. She has had tubes and tubes of blood drawn, gotten to know her pediatric gastroenterologist quite well, had her gall bladder scanned, drank barium, sat still for ultrasounds, and yesterday, was heavily sedated for an upper GI scope.

We have ruled out cancer, ulcers, hernias and a handful of terrible things. Her levels on all of her organs except her pancreas are normal (and, he thinks that was a fluke, they are checking them again). He took microscopic samples of the lining of her esophagus and stomach to check for allergies and a bunch of other medical things I have no idea what they are. He is leaning towards diagnosing a form of IBS that occurs in the stomach, rather than the intestines (so, technically that would be ISS??). Nevertheless, he said until he gets all the results back from the samples he took, it is too soon to tell.

The poor girl still feels weak and sick to her stomach, but that's it for the testing. I told her we have done pretty much all there is to do and she will feel better soon. The Husband and I have really been asking God for her to be healed and I know that is His desire, too. It's difficult to see the people you love suffering; however, God understands suffering and will always use it some how for the good. She was feeling really sick last night and afraid to go to sleep until I told her that God's word says that He sends ministering angels to us and that her room was filled with them! She smiled at that thought and was asleep within five minutes!

She is such a brave girl. This was her third IV she had to get since October, in addition to having four tubes of blood collected at a blood test. I could tell it was starting to get to her yesterday, but she held herself together and has been a blessing to the medical staff by cooperating (usually with a smile on her face).

I snapped a few pictures with my cell phone while we were there yesterday and I took the most hilarious video of her eating a popsicle all loopy. Sadly, I can't get the video to post on here. It is really entertaining, but you'll just have to take my word for it!

She got her pick of the stuffed animals and happily added Max, the Portuguese water dog to her collection!

Common Sense? Not So Much.

2010-03-23T07:36:00.002-04:00

Yes, yes, yes...I'm still up in arms about this healthcare bill. I seriously prayed last night that President Obama would have an epiphany and not sign the bill into law this morning. I thought maybe if he actually sat down and READ some of it instead of listening to greedy special interests telling him what he needs to do (or worse, Nancy Pelosi), then some common sense would have him saying no way, ain't gonna sign it. The majority of America does not want this healthcare bill to be passed....why? Why? Why? Talk about taxation without representation....geesh!

My obvious displeasure over this "historic" event (it's historic alright) caused a little shake up over on facebook. But, guess what? Everyone sing with me,...."it's my status and I'll post what I want to, post what I want to, post what I want to......". And, unlike some of the extremists out there, I'm not a name caller. It's funny though the same people who said horrible, hateful things about President Bush are the same people name-calling now because many of us have voiced our contempt of a terribly flawed piece of legislature being shoved down the American people's throats. I have two words for those people. Grow up.

I want to make it clear that I do support some of the measures in the bill. I believe that children need to have access to quality medical care, no matter who their parents are and without pre-existing conditions interfering. I also think that it would be great for small business owners to be grouped together so they have the buying power of large corporations when shopping for health insurance. My major problems with the bill are the price tag attached to it and the mandate that by 2014 every American must show proof of health insurance. That is unconstitutional. It's not like making me get car insurance in exchange for the privilege of driving a car...no, I must get health insurance for the privilege of what? Living in America? Huh? Of course, I already have health insurance, so the only difference I'll really be seeing down the road is very, very long waiting periods to go see the doctor (if there are still any doctors left when this debacle is played out?). Well, at least there are vitamins and Motrin to hold us over between visits.....unless those are highly taxed now according to page 1027, clause d in the bill (just joking). But, something has to pay for all this excess spending and it sure isn't going to be the proposed cuts to Medicare......

I have quite a few Democrat friends and we can usually spar somewhat playfully, but I encourage both sides not to take things too far by making it personal. We are all Americans. And, quite honestly, America doesn't need reform, it needs revival. Hurting hearts need a healing touch that healthcare bills can't give them.

(Not So) Revolutionary Weight Loss Secrets - Part Two

2010-03-21T21:06:00.008-04:00

To read "Part One" click here....

I picked a bad day to finish writing this post. Except for playing tag with the kids at the playground and the "L" and "T" of my breakfast BLT, I was not a very healthy person today. However, perhaps that will make me seem more real. And, perhaps, I gained back six of the sixteen pounds I lost and my results, unlike Nutri System, are typical.

Weekends are the two steps back for every step forward I seem to take. Busy, social, fun and lacking any of the normal weekday routine, I have a much harder time sticking to a healthy lifestyle. I will find a way to overcome this....I just haven't arrived, yet!

I can still share with you some tips that work well the other five days of the week. Specifically, I am referring to water and sleep. These are both very good ways to win the hunger battle. When I feel like I'm craving something unhealthy or in large quantities I grab a water bottle instead and chug. If all else fails and I feel like I must grab the chips or ice cream, I just go to bed. Yes, even if it is 8:40 pm, I go to bed. Ever since I went on the Daniel Fast earlier this year and cut out the caffeine (which I now only consume about half the amount I used to prior to the fast) I sleep more. I have very little problem laying in bed at night trying to fall asleep, in fact, my mind starts to nod off sometime around 6:30 pm. I find myself driving at night sometimes wondering which kid is where and how do I get to them....just kidding (98% of the time). This increased sleep allows me to arise and shine after only hitting my snooze button about four times when the alarm blares at 6:00 am.

My final suggestion is to weigh yourself like the woman in the picture. Haha! I stole this picture from Beautiful Grace! Really, my remaining tip is to sneak in the exercise. When I can't make it to the gym, I can play tag at the park, jump on the trampoline, or park my car further away in shopping plazas. Even #3 said to me today, "Hey Mom, let's just walk over to that other store, it's good for us!” Plus, enjoying the physical activity with my family or being outdoors puts me in a better mood!

Obviously, as I mentioned above, I have not arrived at my goal, yet. I may have suffered a bit of a setback this weekend with all the junk I put in me, but I really am not discouraged. I will be back at the gym tomorrow and I'll pack a big salad for lunch. If I want it bad enough, I will make it happen. It is really just simple math when it comes down to it. I have to burn more than I am taking in. No secret, no easy way and no one can do it for me! However, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

(Not So) Revolutionary Weight Loss Secrets

2010-03-19T07:54:00.003-04:00

I'm about to let you in on my weight loss secrets. For just three easy installments of $49.99, I will share with you the secrets of how I have lost 16 pounds since January and if you act now, I'll throw in a free set of Ginsu knives. Well, not really...nothing I'm about to share is that revolutionary.

I decided this year (like every year of my life since the age of 14) that I was going to lose weight. Since I'm turning forty, I thought that would motivate me to lose forty pounds and I sure as heck don't want to be having to lose fifty pounds at fifty or sixty pounds at sixty....you get the idea. And, everyone likes to remind you of your metabolism slowing down when you hit forty. So far, I think that already happened to me when I turned 39! Like I mentioned, I've lost at least 16 pounds (it may even be 17 or 18 this week, I didn't weigh myself, yet) and if I don't eat anything else this year except from noon to 2pm on Sundays, I may lose the other 23-24 pounds!

Here are the basics:

I'm eating about half the amount of food I'm used to. Half a sandwich, half a bagel, half a box of Girl Scout cookies, you get it. Portion size was a huge obstacle for me and I have slowed down eating. When we go out I automatically cut all my food in half and pack it in a to-go box. I also threaten my kids if I eat more than one piece of bread from the bread basket they will be grounded, so I expect them to dive across the table and pry it out of my hands. This really works! I'm just kidding, but it's not such a bad idea....

I exercise even when I don't feel like it and think I don't have time to do it. This has been a big boost. I have learned to tell my body to shut up when it complains about going to the gym. Then, I crank the iPod and make sure I play music that is motivating. My favorites are Toby Mac and the soundtrack of Another Cinderella Story (during the one live song I always pretend the audience applause is for me and then I run faster). I also like KJ52 and an occasional Miley Cyrus song. And, Double Dutch Bus is another good one. When I feel like I'm going to slow down or lower the incline, I try to find someone on TV that is a professional athlete...I then pump myself up by reminding myself I'm in 1/25th of the physical shape they are and I need to narrow that gap. That usually helps push me to keep going! It was especially motivating during the Olympics!

To be continued since it is time to get kids off to school.....

I'll Show You March Madness!!

2010-03-18T14:58:00.002-04:00

Just come over and look at my calendar! Madness I tell you, pure madness!! I seriously should not even be blogging now (I gave up my shower today to do it...just kidding! I'm waiting for the dryer to beep and the microwave to finish defrosting ground beef for meatloaf...I'm always the little multi-tasker!).

With the premier of our gorgeous weather has come the chaos. Chaos in the form of planning multiple PTO events, play practices, soccer, softball, volleyball, doctor and dentist appointments, birthdays (mine and #1's, whose party is tomorrow night. My 40th birthday has been pushed back to 2011 since there does not seem to be time this year to celebrate), and the countless other things that come up on a day by day basis, like the lovely present the stupid dog left me this morning on the living room floor. She told me the leprechauns did it, but this pile was nearly as big as a leprechaun so I wasn't buying it. It did have a greenish tint to it though.....

As if to mock me, timers are beeping left and right! My time is up! Children will be ready to be picked up and I would love to have time to Swiffer my bedroom floor that somewhere, under all the dog hair, has lovely Pergo-like laminate. You all can relate, right? Rock on fellow domestic divas...keep saving the world one load of laundry at a time!

They Are Not So Scary After All

2010-03-16T23:08:00.007-04:00

Teenagers.

We adults were all teens at some point, so why is it that we soon forget the angst associated with the adolescent years? Sadly, I've spent my fair share lecturing my own teenager until her eyes glaze over and she tunes me out. I used to assume most of them were walking bundles of hormones and raw emotions waiting to spill out all over me, or worse, that they just stare blankly at me when I would try to connect with them.

I've been helping with our youth group for two and a half years and there were some weeks I asked God why I kept coming back. I don't have the WOW factor that draws them to me like some of the other younger adults that serve or the people that have been there for years and years. I'm someone's mom. And, then it clicked. I'm a MOM. I can be safe and encouraging to them. I can be their cheerleader and I can also pray for them when they have been hurt or made bad decisions. I can walk in a way that says don't fall away from the things God has called you to do...don't be distracted and disapointed by people and circumstances. So, that is why I have kept going back to serve and I am so glad I did! I have grown very fond of these teens and my fellow youth staff workers. We are like a family, facing the triumphs and difficulties together and going after God with a renewed hope day by day.

I would encourage you today not to write off teenagers as disrespectful and disconnected. Instead, open up a world of opportunity for them and be an encouraging "spiritual" parent!

** this was a non-paid advertisement trying to promote new youth workers (a.k.a Spiritual Moms & Dads) within our church family under my own provocation without being asked to do so by the church staff, pastors, mailman, or the guy who delivers water jugs to the water coolers. No teens were harmed in the writing of this post. Void where prohibited in Nebraska. Possible side effects may include hilarious laughter and tears in your eyes when they make you proud.

More American Idol Rambling

2010-03-12T07:16:00.005-05:00

Anyone watch American Idol last night? You know....the show where you aren't really the most talented singer, but you get to be in the Top 12 because you're cute? Yeah...that show.

I really can't complain too much since my three favorites made it in (Crystal, Lee and Andrew in that order). But, with Lily being sent home over Katie last night...that just goes to show you who is texting in their votes.

Girls with David Archuleta and Justin Bieber posters hanging up in their rooms.

And, that worries me that my top three may be going soon despite the amazing talent and diversity they have brought to this show. Because...welll....how do I say this....they are are "old"? American Idol is like counting in dog years, so if you are over the age of 21 you better start singing songs that younger people know and love. All I have to do is watch my own kids watch AI. They love Aaron (age 16), and admit Katie doesn't sing as good as the others, but they still like her and #1 insists that Tim will stick around longer than Andrew because "girls like him, he's got pretty eyes". Singing....psshhh. Overrated!

Thus, the drama has sucked me in for my first season ever and it is quite extraordinary how far they have all come in such a short amount of time!

OH MY WORD!!!!

2010-03-11T22:25:00.003-05:00

Growwwllll!! Please bare with me as I am having some layout issues....hopefully, my computer will not self destruct as I try to iron out the wrinkles!!

Please stop back in a bit when I have something to write about other than the large handfuls of hair I have been pulling out most of today regarding this issue. Then, when I'm up and running I'll be sure to post pictures of my bald head.

I really should learn how to use a computer as well as my ten-year old one of these days....

You Know She's My Daughter....

2010-03-03T07:03:00.007-05:00

I am often told that #1 and I look so much alike, but the funny thing is that we act even more alike (it must be that first born, bossy, drama queen gene that we share). But, another topic of conversation is some of the embarrassing stuff that happens to both of us. I have her permission to post the following story that happened yesterday (and, I only hope I can do it justice because listening to her tell it in person, half shrieking out a re-enactment was hilarious).

She announced to half of her Latin class she had to pee so her teacher let her go to the bathroom (I wonder if they still call them lavatories like when we were in school??). She used the "lavatory facilities" and discovered her stall had no toilet paper. Since it was the middle of class she figured no one is going to be in the bathroom, so she was safe to pull her pants only halfway up (to avoid dripping??) and pulled her sweatshirt down and started to waddle out of the stall to go into the one next door. Except when she was between stalls a "little sixth grade BOY" had just walked into the bathroom. She literally shrieked at him "GET OUT!!!!" and his face turned bright red and he ran out the door (probably never to be seen again, I'm quite certain he must have changed schools in the last 24 hours). She said she felt so bad for screaming at him and scaring him, but she totally re-acted without thinking. I'm sort of okay with her scaring him so he never accidentally or purposely walks into a ladies bathroom again. She may have done him a favor!

Then, I picked up her and some friends after school so they could decorate t-shirts at our house for an upcoming field trip. She had a great idea to write their names on them. So, they did and they looked great. Only she spelled her own name wrong.

Is it possible to have given birth to my twin?

Trivial Guinea Pig Trivia

2010-02-28T17:19:00.006-05:00

We are the proud owners of two new guinea pigs (females, of course, because that's all that seem to live here with the exception of The Husband, whose testosterone is slowly being sucked out of his body being surrounded on a daily basis by all these female animals and people).

Here's a summary of the last twenty-four hours at the oH mY wORD house:

1. Our theme for this pet project is "Cheap" so the FREE guinea pigs that came with FREE food and FREE bedding are staying in an existing dog crate. Not the best for holding all the bedding inside nice and neatly. I look at the bedding (wood shavings) laying all over the living room and have grabbed my Swiffer no less than 17 times. I have asked The Husband to work on that.

2. They poop constantly. Their poop is not so bad. Think mini coffee beans or the pellets that you actually feed them. We caught on last night that it is best to put a towel on your lap and then hold them. I now have an entire load of laundry as a result of this set up. I'm going to invent some sort of eco-friendly, guinea pig disposable poop cloth. Remember, you read it here first!!

3. They don't smell!! I refuse to let them smell!! The friends we got them from had two adult guinea pigs and the three babies and you would never know they had any animals there. Don't believe the rumors you hear....due to my occasional OCDness these little piggies will grow up unscented.

4. Teenagers take a little longer to be excited about owning rodents than elementary aged children.

5. Guinea pigs are sweet, cute and if you could somehow get them to stop pooping every 6.23 minutes, they would be perfect pets. The girls are so thrilled with them, #3 carries "Hershey" around with her constantly and I have no doubt these piggies will live a long life filled with lots of love!

I Think All This Cold Weather Has Frozen What is Left of My Brain

2010-02-26T10:01:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking odd thoughts lately and then I went ahead last night and took the first step in making one of those odd ideas a reality.

If you've been stopping by my blog over the last few years then you are aware that our dog is not a "kid-friendly" dog. When she isn't ignoring us or growling at us, she plays so hard that somebody usually gets knocked down. The girls and I have pretty much given her entirely over to The Husband and now we treat her like we do the lawn mower. Like, it's fun to ride on once in awhile, but that belongs to Daddy or it's okay to look at her, but don't touch her.

The guilt of having a cat they are allergic to and a giant dog they can't play with has made me consider getting a smaller dog just for the girls to call their own. But, with that comes more time and money that I have to spend taking care of it and I have reached my maximum responsibility level for keeping all things under my roof alive and well. So, another idea hit me!

Hamsters! It would give the girls a pet they could love and take care of all by themselves! The Husband would be a tough sell, but I could probably talk him into two little hamsters for the girls as an Easter present (because we all see the obvious connection with furry rodents and Christ's love for us, right? Ok, maybe not, but I'm sure I can come up with some way to make it a valuable object lesson....I mean they are almost like bunnies or sheep, just smaller).

Then, yesterday we got an email from a friend that the family guinea pig had babies and they are giving them away.

So, guess who emailed her that they are interested in adopting a few of the babies. ME! Shhhh....don't tell the kids! Do you see what all this snow does to me?? I have completely lost my mind!

AI Recap and My Predictions

2010-02-25T07:20:00.008-05:00

As if I'm the expert now!

However, I was so compelled by the underachievement on this week's American Idol I felt the need to blog about it.

Throughout Hollywood Week the judges kept telling everyone that this was the most competitive season ever, the female talent especially. Did anyone see evidence of that this week, because I missed it. The guys were especially disappointing and I think I cringed for most, if not all, of them last night.

Now, don't get me wrong...you wouldn't see me out on that stage in front of millions of people. They have guts! It just wasn't what we were expecting and now the more I'm watching the more things are starting to get annoying. Like Kara's crush on Casey James. Hello? She is married! Even he looks like he feels the pressure and my guess is that Kara will start to tone it down a bit with him from here on out. The other person beginning to annoy me is "Big Mike", he has a great voice and a great story (his wife had a baby during his first week in Hollywood), but that "story" is only going to carry him so far and he came off as too cocky and somewhat menacing last night.

The biggest disappointment of the night was waiting until the end of the show to watch Andrew Garcia underwhelm us. He and Crystal Bowersox have been my favorites since the first week of auditions. I think she did amazing this week, but Andrew didn't bring it. While he slipped a notch in my book, Lee DeWyze is starting to move up a notch. He reminds me of Jeremy Camp or Daruis Rucker from Hootie and the Blowfish!

Based on technical ability I think it is time to send Haeley Vaughn and Lacey Brown home on the girl side. The guys were so off last night it is hard to figure out who may go home. Todrick Hall? Tim Urban (who I had to agree with Simon that they had originally made the right decision to send him home the first time, until the producer called him to come back)? John Park? If Jermaine isn't sent home this week, he will be cut soon. It's too tough to tell right now because of the teeny bopper factor. Teenage girls have texting power beyond our wildest imaginations, which is why it is safe to say that Aaron and Tyler are safe this week (and, they weren't too bad).

Any predictions on your end? Who do you think is going home? Who is your favorite?

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-24T07:06:00.004-05:00

Maybe some of us are starting to outgrow Chuck E. Cheese?

I haven't posted a "Wordless Wednesday" in awhile and I thought this silly picture accurately depicts the stage of life we are in right now...the challenge of keeping little kids and big kids entertained! For more Wordless Wednesdays go visit Five Minutes for Mom.

For the Ladies....

2010-02-23T22:12:00.007-05:00

...this post contains large quantities of estrogen and emotion. Guys should head over to ESPN.com today so nobody gets hurt! haha!

I'm posting deep, woman thoughts. The things that go through our minds, even when we don't even realize it. The way it makes me feel all adventurous listening to Taylor Swift sing about dancing in the rain in a parking lot (even though in reality when it's raining and I'm in a parking lot with my kids I'm just running and shrieking frantically to watch for cars and hurry up). Girly stuff....like pretty dresses, chocolate, fuzzy socks, and wondering who would play the part of us in a movie of our lives.

Do you ever really think about being a woman? Isn't there still some degree of little girl inside of us or is it just me? I hear a song and it inspires me. Or, I can be reduced to tears in moments from a touching story or an episode of American Idol. It's this uncanny ability women have to connect. The sad thing about most of us is that we dream big, then sell ourselves short. We walk a line of wanting to be needed without being taken advantage of...or, find ourselves taking advantage of others. We still feel insecure, jealous and petty, but hopefully, through the years we recognize the pain that results when you feed those feelings. And, is it so wrong to want to be the heroine and to be beautiful while you save the world? I am a blessed woman who adores my husband and kids, but sometimes wonders if I did enough to show my love to them at the end of the day. Did they "get it" when I made a favorite meal or texted them a random smiley face or did I stress them out rushing from one activity to the next like a drill sergeant on a mission?

I'm not professing to have the answers to any of those questions. I'm just thinking and being random. I'm also grateful that God knows the real me. No mask. No pretense. One day He had an idea. That idea was me. And, you. He knew exactly what He was doing when He created us. The pain, the dreams, the victories, the circumstances, the relationships, the disappointments, the girl drama, the emotional highs and lows....He already knew. He gives us a story to tell, unapologetically.

What's your story going to be?

Baking the Night Away

2010-02-21T20:36:00.004-05:00

I love my husband. I really do. You know I love him despite the latest object he has brought into our bedroom.

I've nicknamed it the "convection oven". It is really a little heater I had gotten to take into work to put under my desk since I am always freezing prior to noon. That idea sounded good in theory, but when I leave for work in the morning, with not two, but four girls to drop off, my lunch and my gym bag I reached the conclusion it is easier to just bring a sweater. #1 had wanted the little heater in her room, but one night The Husband announced that #1 has the warmest room in the house, so he confiscated it.

We already have a QUIET ceramic heater in our room (emphasis on the word QUIET) that keeps the chill out. The first few nights I thought it was cute that The Husband put the "convection oven" on his nightstand and blew it on high all night long. He really, really liked it. The problem is that I would eventually start waking up through the night without a drop of saliva in my mouth and my skin was wrinkling at the rate of about 1.3 years per night. It was dryyyyy. When I mentioned (complained) to The Husband he came up with a perfectly reasonable solution the following night. A humidifier. With all the air blowing around our room now, it sounds like an airport. He was quite impressed that he had gotten the humidity up to 48% last night. I, of course, can't fall asleep with all this racket, so the bags under my eyes now slightly distract from all the dry skin peeling off of my face. And, 48% humidity or not I still wake up with a throat as dry as the desert!

Now, I have even more of a reason to despise these winter months! Spring come quickly before I look like I'm eighty when I celebrate my fortieth!

I Don't Mean to Sound Cheesy....

2010-02-13T22:15:00.007-05:00

...but it is like Valentine's Day at our house every day (well, most days). Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the cards, the chocolates, the flowers, the Pandora charms (hint, hint, Honey), but I like leaving love notes in lunch boxes and texting cute messages to each other more than just once a year! It takes work to make a marriage good. Not grueling, back breaking labor kind of work. I'm talking about taking the time and making the effort to "out give" one another. I seriously think the best way I can love my hubby is to let him know each day how important he is to me. Really, the same philosophy applies to the kiddos, too.

I didn't always think this way. I was selfish and insecure and needy. I think being a parent is good training to rid most people of at least two of those three attributes! Early on, we struggled and I needed to know how much I was loved unconditionally, so I could begin to love that way, too. The kind of love that persists through disappointments, misunderstandings and pain. The love that Jesus shows us with every waking moment, every breath we take (every move we make, for all you Police fans out there) and every time we come to Him for forgiveness when we blow it. When we grasp an understanding of such selfless love, it becomes more natural for us to give away what we receive. While I still have my occasional pity parties and hurt feelings, They do not last for very long!

I guess at some point along the way, The Husband caught on to this, too, because he loves me extravagantly, whether I deserve it that day or not. Valentine's day is nice, but I'm glad the other 364 days of the year are just as special!

Poop On You, CVS!

2010-02-12T16:12:00.007-05:00

I'm a bit irritated. And, my title is completely relevant to my story.

I took all three girls to the doctor today and they all have various ear, nose and throat infections requiring antibiotics. Normally, I have our prescriptions filled at Costco, but I had a "free $25 gift card with a new prescription" coupon from CVS. Now, don't get me wrong. I like CVS for my "buy one get one free" hair color and $.99 toothpaste after Bonus Bucks; however, I have never, nor will I ever be, a fan of the CVS pharmacy closest to my house.

First of all, they are not always very friendly. They always look frazzled and they never, I repeat never, have my prescription ready whether it is twenty minutes or five hours after the doctor emails it over. Today was no exception. In fact, today they tried to tell me it wasn't even there and then, as I was calling the doctor's office on my cell phone, they "found it" (in their inbox of their email, imagine that!).

The other reason is the lonnnnngggg line down Aisle Ten that is required when picking up a prescription. Aisle Ten is home to the enemas. Why wouldn't they put make-up or greeting cards there? It isn't like I'm going to grab a few enemas as an impulse purchase! And, it requires everyone in line to look straight ahead, no glancing around. Unless, of course, you are with my children who say things like "Mommy, what is the guy on that box doing?" then "What's an enema?" and "EWWWWWW". I finally got to the register and was told after they finally found the email that it would be at least twenty minutes. I asked if they would call my name when it was ready to which the not-so-nice lady replied yes, but it will be probably more than twenty minutes. I said that was fine and asked if I had to get back in line (IN THE ENEMA-INFESTED AISLE, I wanted to shout), to which she rather smugly replied yes.

"No thanks" I told her, "we'll be back!".

Maybe. Or, maybe I'll call the doctor's office and ask them to send the prescription over to Costco. I'm not sure if the $25 gift card is worth me throwing boxes of enemas at the pharmacy workers. :)

My Post-Workout Epiphany

2010-02-11T22:15:00.005-05:00

Epiphany......a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

It hit me as I was driving from the gym to pick up #1 from play practice. This thought that snapped me right out of the melancholy that has been knocking at my door the last week or two.

I have the rest of my life to fulfill the dreams God placed in my heart. Why in the world do I feel like I've failed for not making them happen NOW? Lately, I've been dealt a few disappointing circumstances and have been so touchy about turning forty. Like I haven't found the cure for cancer or written a book or opened another restaurant or hosted my own talk show or anything "cool" like that. Sometimes I wonder what the heck I was thinking four years ago when we gave up and closed the cafe and turned our backs on the idea of ever doing that again (oh yeah, I remember...the money ran out!). Since then I'm ready to give it another try, however, I know that I am called to be faithful in the places that He has me in right now. Dreaming is good, but I've learned that when we force it to happen in our time those dreams can end up a disaster.

So, I'm not going to look at what most of the world considers success and I will try to remember it can be the little stuff that really matters. Working a flexible, part-time job that I enjoy so I can be with the kids is much higher on my priority list than pursuing my career through long hours and climbing the corporate ladder. Not that it isn't tempting, but, that is a choice for another season in my life, not now. Do I hear the time ticking away and wonder what I'll have to offer when my kids are grown up? Yes, I think about it every day and then I thank God for the privilege of trusting me with those 3 precious treasures....because nothing I "do" could ever be more important than pouring love, time and attention into my family.

How Much More iCarly Can I Watch Before I Lose My Mind?

2010-02-10T18:46:00.004-05:00

The novelty is wearing off. Cooking, waiting on sick kids and just watching boatloads of snow continue to come down has me in a semi-coma right now. Is 6:20pm too early to go to bed? Not the kids....I mean me.

The Husband is a trooper. Of course, he spent the better part of the day snow blowing our driveway. He came in after a few hours and looked like the Abominable Snowman. After a yummy dinner of broccoli cheese soup, corn bread, and the grand finale of chocolate cupcakes with homemade pink buttercream frosting, he looked out the window and saw the neighbors across the street trying to dig out their cars. It pained him to watch, so he bundled back up again and headed over to snow blow them out, after he went back up on the sunroom roof to shovel it. This man is worth his weight in gold. In fact, he is worth much more than that....I'd say he's downright priceless!

The kids have been pretty good considering the younger two are sick with fevers and sore throats (not really, they have been bickering and picking at each other a lot, but I eventually tuned them out). #1 did a great job of playing her keyboard and singing to us all day in between spurts of TV and Wii. Oddly enough, we drank a bunch of milk and ate a ton of eggs, so I'm starting to get concerned I might need to run out for more. Or, we could always eat and drink something else. :)

I was kept entertained today by a dispute with PayPal that is way too long and stressful to get into now. To summarize, some lady ripped me off by disputing something I sold her, but instead of PayPal emailing the dispute to my updated email address, where they send all my other notifications, they sent it to an old email on the account. Because I never responded in the set amount of time due to them sending the emails to an old account, the buyer got her money back and PayPal sent me to collections for $32. I tried emailing ebay and the lady to at least return the item, but surprise, she does not respond. Stupid PayPal....I don't even know what the dispute was, the item was brand new and she got a great deal! They refuse to appeal it because it is not in their "set" time frame. I thanked them for allowing someone to steal from me and assured them I'll never utilize their services again. To which, they basically responded, sorry about that, but how would you like to pay your $32 bill or our collection agency will haunt you 37 times a day? Instead of going postal, I almost went PayPal (postal times 10).

Well, it's time to go look out the window and sigh loudly that the snow is still out there. And, then I'll wander back in to watch my 13th episode of iCarly in the last 24 hours. In the future, I'll make sure I make a trip to the library, instead of the grocery store, before our next blizzard!

Got Milk?

2010-02-09T21:11:00.006-05:00

The snow is coming! The snow is coming!

Thankfully, I had overstocked after last week's storm, so I did not have to go anywhere near a grocery store in the last 24 hours except to return a Red Box movie. Although, there is something to be said for making that trip to the grocery store before a snow storm....it reminds me of the camaraderie of Black Friday or standing in a long line for the ladies room during a concert. It is one of the few occasions that you find yourself bonding with total strangers. At the grocery store we all laugh at the people who are there buying bread and milk until we look in our own shopping carts and realize we are buying them, too.

I type this now to distract myself from the fact that The Husband is on top of our sunroom shoveling snow off of our roof. In the dark. While it's snowing. With a broken leg. Just kidding about the broken leg (hopefully, that wasn't me being prophetic, just joking! Really!). The rest of it is true. We had some leakage in the sunroom on Monday as snow was beginning to melt and being blessed (or, cursed) with an overactive imagination I pictured the sunroom roof caving in around 4am this morning as the next foot of snow arrives. The Husband, who I believe actually enjoys walking on the roof in the snow and freezing temperatures, was quick to offer his assistance. So, after a short time of watching The Dog trying to figure out what the scraping noise on the ceiling is, I figured I'd get online and do some EXCITING LIVE BLOGGING of the actual event as it is happening. Just like those people who do it for American Idol....which I plan to do one day soon since this is my first season I've actually watched it from the beginning and I like it. Let's hear it for all my overrun sentences tonight. Sorry about that. It's just the excitement of the moment, because I just heard a sliding noise on the roof, so I think I better go....

Alright, The Husband is okay, but #1 just awoke wondering what the noise was. Now, I'm starting to grow concerned that rather than snow caving the roof in, maybe The Husband will do that all by himself. Wouldn't that be irony? Or, would that be a paradox? Most importantly, would my homeowners cover that?

Time to go turn up the heat and talk myself out of the seasonal depression that threatens to set in every February, which is somehow magnified this year probably because I'm turning forty and doing nothing with my life, blah, blah, blah.....please someone get me a pair of flip flops and everything will be alright!

My Top Ten to Remember My Four-O

2010-02-04T07:15:00.003-05:00

The Husband made his official entrance into his forties yesterday. Thus begins the six-week countdown until I join him, during which time I will remind him daily that I am still a young pup in my thirties. I think we are both in shock that he turned forty and I'm trailing slightly behind....how did we get to forty? I must admit thirty seems like a lifetime ago, but I remember too clearly my parents turning forty while I was an adult. Yikes. They're all turning early sixty-something now so I imagine once I blink a few times that will be us, too.

Now that we have celebrated our fifteen year anniversary last week and The Husband's birthday this week I can start to think about MY birthday. And, I've come up with some ideas to remember my 40th year ....some are not serious considerations, but I did think about it!

1. I thought it would be fun to rent a roller skating rink and have everyone dress in their best seventies clothes and have a roller derby...complete with slamming each other into walls. Gently. 'Cause we're all old now.

2. Get a tattoo of a butterfly on my ankle. That is just screaming mid-life crisis since I have never desired a tattoo in my entire life.

3. Audition for a game show.

4. Go to a foreign country, which would require me to obtain a passport now that I can't travel with a birth certificate like in the good old days. I would love to go on a missions trip in a few years when the girls are a little older and me leaving for a week wouldn't be so traumatic for #3!

5. Go back to school and finish my four-year degree. I am looking into transferring my AA degree credits....if they take all of them then I am probably going to enroll for this fall's semester. I want to earn a BA in communications.

6. Learn how to play the guitar.

7. Spa time (this one is a definite since I am traveling for a weekend this summer with my high school friends, who are also turning 40).

8. Lose forty pounds in honor of my fortieth. I'm at 11 pounds so far for the year so if I keep up this pace I may make it! I have also dramatically cut back on caffeine (two cups of coffee a day) and I drink gallons of water! Soda is a 1-2 times per week treat. Yes, it's true. You can check Snopes.com. I no longer have an addiction to fountain soda and expensive coffee.

9. Run a race, probably a 5K, but a 10K would be cool, too, if I can get my butt in gear. I'd like to do it in honor of my Pop, who my brother and I used to run with when we were all younger and he was still here with us. I miss him like crazy, so I think rather than just be sad I'd like to raise some money and awareness for the disease that took him from us (he had a stroke). I may talk my brother into doing it with me, but we'll have to compare schedules.

10. I am totally going to start writing a book. I am waiting to hear back from a super, talented gal who I have asked to collaborate on a specific project and then I'm ready to grab the bull by the horns and run with it!

So, there you have it! Of course, I won't get to everything on the list. I'm ready to start pursuing some things that I have not given much serious time or thought to, but that I feel are desires that the Lord has put in my heart for a reason. It doesn't just have to be because I'm having a milestone birthday, turning forty just gave me a reason to sit and think about some of this stuff that has been bubbling on the back burner for awhile!

Ready for My Wings!

2010-02-01T22:07:00.005-05:00

I feel like I'm emerging from my cocoon! Since the beginning of January I have lost almost ten pounds and I feel energized. I get more sleep, I've been exercising, I have more energy and most of all, I feel like I am "resting" in the Lord during so many potential problems that come up each day. I also have committed to reading the entire Bible in a year. Today's section was about Moses. And, it was good!

There is so much to ponder upon Moses and his story. The fact that he killed the Egyptian who was beating the Hebrew slave is such a story of God's redemptive power (something we can all appreciate!). Moses flees for his life, then God eventually meets up with him in the form of a burning bush to tell Moses that he has been chosen to deliver the Israelites from captivity and Moses was probably looking around pointing to himself like "Ummm....me? Are you sure?". I think that was a defining moment for Moses...his emerging from a cocoon that probably didn't feel very good at the time. If it wasn't Pharaoh going up against him, it was his own people or his own insecurities. But, the cool thing about the whole story is that God was faithful to do what He said He would do. I imagine that did a little something to Moses's faith, which in turn transformed him from a stuttering, self-conscious guy on the run to the leader who rescued a nation.

Can't we look back on our own lives and see the faithfulness of God? What has kept us in our cocoons? Pain, rejection, fear, confusion, disappointment, unforgiveness, comfort.....I know my story and God has been drawing some of this out of me. I don't want to go to the next assignment carrying baggage with me. It's time to break out and spread my wings....and trust that the God of Moses is as faithful today as He was on the day He parted the Red Sea.

Look Out Jillian Michaels....

2010-01-24T17:19:00.006-05:00

....Melissa is heading back to the gym. Oh yeah!

I realized during my ten day fast how much I missed taking care of myself! I mentioned that in the beginning of the fast all I seemed to do was sleep. And, it was a peaceful time (aside from the raging headaches and dizziness). Now that it is over, I'm not ready to give up the rest! I'm not talking about tons of sleep, but that "state of being" where my mind is not racing.

I realized that I was never made to function purely on caffeine. I was not designed to draw energy (or have energy sucked out of me) from other people or my circumstances. My days are better spent talking and listening to the Holy Spirit, whose quiet voice can seldom be heard above the roar of my lifestyle. Being made uncomfortable from physical hunger and cravings was nothing compared to a life void of a relationship with Jesus Christ, the One we should truly hunger after. I don't want to live my life carelessly. Every day counts!

Along with all the amazing time spent with the Lord, I realized it was time to take better care of myself physically. I am now a huge fan of water. I limit myself to 2 cups of coffee per day (it used to be 5-6) and soda/sugar only on special occasions. I also read the labels on everything now! If sugar or corn syrup is listed in the top 5 ingredients it goes back on the shelf! This week, I'm headed out to join Planet Fitness. I have really missed the gym in the last year and a half, so I am excited to get back into it.

You may be wondering if my other commitments have decreased. No, not at all! In fact, I am coming up on a super busy week! But, rather than jam my weekend full of more commitments (sleepovers, company coming over, etc.), I will take the time to rest.

In fact, since it is Sunday afternoon I think I'll go practice "resting" right now!

A Letter to My Senator

2010-01-22T07:39:00.004-05:00

In case you all didn't hear about Senator Arlen Specter's exchange with Rep. Michelle Bachmann, you can check it out here first so my post makes more sense.

I listened to the way Sen. Specter (whom I am not a big fan of to begin with) spoke to this woman. And, yes, she interrupted him. But, his remarks to her that she should "act like a lady" and he would "treat her like a lady" were so off base it prompted me to do something about it, instead of just complaining. Hello? Sen. Specter, it isn't 1847 anymore....in fact, women can vote now and guess what? They won't want to vote for you if you say stupid things like "act like a lady".

I encourage all of you to contact him, too! Unless of course you believe his remarks were right on and Rep. Bachmann should have acted more like a perfect little lady and let him say whatever he wanted to say to get her to shut up. Click here to contact him. Here is what my email said:

Dear Senator Specter,

I was appalled to hear your comments from the radio debate with Michelle Bachmann. Admittingly, I am not a registered Democrat, but I am a woman. I am not a feminist, but I am a hard working, happily married mother of three. I was offended by your arrogant remarks that you made to Rep. Bachmann. What exactly were you implying when you told her repeatedly to "act like a lady"? Was that your way of intimidating her into silence? For her to be seen and not heard? What exactly would you have told a male you were debating? To "act like a man?”

I find it awful that so many elected officials of the Democratic party now in office behave so smugly and arrogantly, as if you have the right to say whatever you want. Meanwhile, you crucify Rep. Joe Wilson for his remarks (which I also believe were out of line; however, it is completely one-sided in how these things are dealt with). Apparently, your disrespect holds no accountability. May I remind you, sir, who you work for? The people of Pennsylvania, half of which are women.

An apology is in order, Senator Specter and I would hope you would use this as a learning experience.

They Should Call it Parent Dis-Orientation

2010-01-21T07:08:00.004-05:00

I just sat in my seat in the auditorium staring at the screen and having a flashback.

I thought it was just going to be another one of those parent meetings that was on my calendar. I didn't give it much thought. However, upon the completion of the Power Point presentation the reality all of a sudden came crashing down.

I was at high school orientation. For MY daughter. And, as I looked at the final screen that said Class of 2014, I remember the same feelings flooding over me and I flashbacked to kindergarten orientation as if it were just a month ago.

I, too, had gone to kindergarten orientation with excitement and curiosity. During the lecture the principal went around the room and asked parents if this was their first, second, third, last child entering the Big K. I remember watching a lady try to compose herself and say it was her youngest of five kids going. I thought to myself "Thank you, God, that isn't me. I would be weeping opening if I was sending my last child to kindergarten". My turn came and when I said it was my first child, everyone nodded sympathetically and I could barely swallow the lump in my throat.

The same feeling gripped my heart last night. It dawned on me the next orientation I would be attending would be COLLEGE, PEOPLE!!!!! I sat in my seat hoping no one around me noticed my eyes filled with tears. In just a few short months I will have a high schooler. It almost felt surreal, like there was some sappy music playing in the background of my life as I hurried from the building with my head down and got into the safety of my van where I could process. Things seemed a little more normal on the drive home and I was focusing more on honors classes versus AP classes and whether she should give up an elective to take a study hall.

I arrived home, took one look at her and burst into tears.

So much for keeping myself held together like a normal human being. But then again, do moms ever qualify as "normal human beings"?

Celebrating Forty

2010-01-20T07:37:00.021-05:00

A few weeks ago we surprised The Husband (we'll call him Jay today) with an early 40th birthday celebration. I was so glad when the day arrived because he is a sneaky one and I had to keep covering my tracks. He noticed the punch and soda in the closet and said to me with a huge grin on his face, "Hmmmm that's a lot of drinks, what are they for" wink, wink, nudge, nudge. I quickly explained that I got them on sale (which was true!). He just nodded his head like 'Yeah, right". Well, I knew he would keep checking in there, so the morning of his party #3 and I dumped everything into pitchers and then filled all the bottles back up with water and food coloring and returned them to the closet! We should be secret agents, I'm telling ya!

Needless to say, he was surprised. This is his fake surprised reenactment:

I wanted to include the table decorations for anyone interested. I had no idea what to decorate with short of all the black YOU'RE OVER THE HILL-type decorations. So, the thought came to me a few days before to decorate with things about him and make each table a theme. I put together collage prints from Costco ($1.49 each) with pictures pertaining to the theme and then on the back of the frame were "fun facts" about Jay in regard to the theme. I joked that it was sort of like a Jay museum. Allow me to walk you through....

This is the "Family Jay" table, on the back of the picture frame were letters the girls wrote to Jay that I typed up to display. Bubbles were the party favor at this table and I wanted it to have an outdoor picnic feel to it since we spend a lot of time outside as a family.

This is the "Wild & Crazy Jay" table. Guests at this table were encouraged to draw all over the table covering and it had disco ball necklaces as party favors. I took this picture before anyone got there and forgot to take another one after the table was covered with artwork! He wore those Blue's Clue's ears to an audition at YFC a few years ago and he sang the Blue's Clue's song! On the back of the pictures were questions to ask him regarding the many wild and crazy things he's done, such as why his step mom wandered why there was cat hair in the freezer and how many times he's dumped ice water on me in the shower or pushed me in a pool!!

This is the "Sporty Jay" table. His favorite sports facts were listed on the back of the picture frame and the orange table covering is for the Dolphins. I also stuck little sports stickers all over it. The party favors were sports themed blow out things.

This is the "Actor Jay" table and it contained mementos from the shows/films he has been in. The party favors here are hand clappers and it's hard to see but those are silver stars on the fabric.

This is the "Marine Jay" table complete with plastic military men for entertainment! On the back of this collage print I listed his duty stations and the medals and achievements he had received. I didn't think the table cover would be white down the middle, I thought it was all camo print so I cut it up and made his name with the leftover camo (you can kind of see it on the other side in this picture). I would hope that Antonio from Design Star would be proud of me for that last minute idea!

This is the "Need for Speed" Jay table...which was probably my favorite! I got that fabric on clearance for $1.50 and the dry erase boards were the party favors (Christmas clearance at Target, 25 cents a piece). This tied in perfectly to the group gift we all chipped in for....

He will be driving an actual stock car at Pocono Raceway in May! He gets to take 8 laps on the track and he is extremely excited!! The party was nice and some of my family members even made the trip over from an hour away. Then, Brandon made him a funny video using clips from all the other films we worked on! We also gathered around him and I recorded a variety of friends praying over him....it was very powerful and I could just see him overflowing with encouragement. We had a wonderful night and I am so glad he has so many wonderful friends that helped make this celebration very special!

Halfway Never Felt So Good (Kinda)

2010-01-15T12:36:00.005-05:00

I'm on Day Five of my ten-day Daniel fast. Click here if you are wondering what that is and why I'm doing it. I thought I'd share some thoughts that I've had during the process:

1. Water is my friend.

2. Yummy foods besides fruits and vegetables are allowed because they don't come from an animal. For example, nuts, oatmeal & brown rice have become a daily staple for me. I've had to read a lot of labels to make sure I'm not eating anything with sugar.

3. The only thing I have not followed strictly was a little bit of honey in my oatmeal since my blueberries that I throw in are very tart this time of year. I prayed about it and felt like I wasn't going to get all legalistic and crazy about it. I also had a tiny, teeny bit of salad dressing on two salads this week. The Husband assures me God will not love me less.

4. I finally woke up on the fourth day with no headache. And, strangely I woke up today with more of a craving for eggs then coffee. Who knew?

5. A "taco salad" with no meat and cheese is okay. Barely okay, but okay.

6. The weekend is coming up and this is where the real challenge lies. I'm getting a little sick of black beans and rice, salad and vegetable soup. My routine is what has helped when the cravings hit, but our weekends are spent running and/or with friends. Part of me is invigorated by it all and part of me is curled up in the fetal position in the corner of the room begging for a piece of garlic bread.

7. Brown sugar Pop Tarts smell so good when they come out of the toaster.

8. God has brought to light a few things that have been a little "out of whack" in our family. With that realization has come conflict, but The Husband and I are standing firm on the word of God. I figured we don't get a second chance to raise our kids to be obedient, pure, and respectful....gotta take the time to do it right. And, this post by the Gang's Momma was a great reminder that there is no "I" in TEAM.

A week from now the fast will be over, but I know we will come out of it with healthier bodies, souls and spirits!

I Have So Much I Want to Post About....

2010-01-12T21:20:00.005-05:00

...but no energy to do it. You see, I'm coming off of the holidays and then The Husband's surprise 40th birthday party and now I am two days into a corporate wide church fast. So, believe it or not...I've been sleeping. A lot. It's like I have no control over my body anymore and it isn't a depression/lazy type feeling. It's like God took out my batteries and He's recharging them or something?? And, did I mention this fast is totally wrecking me???? A headache from caffeine/sugar withdrawal that cannot be described. However, I feel like in the midst of this I am already experiencing a greater sensitivity in a spiritual way. And, it leaves me wanting MORE!

I'm actually on my first attempt of a 10-day Daniel fast. I've fasted in the past, but never this strict. Here is a brief description of where this fast comes from:

Daniel 1:8-14
But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel, but the official told Daniel, ‘I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you.’

Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, ‘Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.’ So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.”

Basically what ended up happening is that Daniel and his buddies were glowing and healthier by the end of the 10 days. Now, please bear in mind the Bible never specifically calls Christians to a "Daniel" fast but there are numerous references to fasting (in one form or another) as being beneficial. And, many times it is joined with prayer (and, my prayers today have been "Lord, please take away my caffeine withdrawal so I stop shaking like I'm coming off of some kind of narcotic and "Lord, please give me the strength to drive past that KFC without stopping for a bucket of chicken"). If our pastor had not assured us on Sunday that we would not die from doing this, I would have checked myself into a hospital today! I guess when your body has become accustomed to 7-8 servings of caffeine each day, it might do some pretty funky things when the servings drop down to zero! However, it has not messed me up enough to knock me out of being the top Wii hula hoop champion in the house!

I plan to blog more about the fast after it is over because I am anxious to gain a new perspective and draw closer to God in the process (with minimal distractions). I know He is so faithful and He is causing this "rest" on my body because He knows what we need even better than we know what we need!

I Think Next Year I'll Just Copy and Paste....

2010-01-04T21:28:00.003-05:00

Hey guess what!

I'm being healthy! I'm trying to lose weight. Why? Because it is January! And, you could probably go back into my archives and read basically the same post every January since I've been blogging (only I was much more serious about it in previous years).

So, I drank more water today than I probably have drank cumulatively since Christmas. I'll bore you with all the details so you can laugh sympathetically and no longer wonder "is Melissa getting fat or is she pregnant?"

No, my friends. I'm not pregnant.

So, my morning started out with a large, cold glass of ice water BEFORE the coffee. I gulped it down only because I could not stay awake a moment longer without coffee. Then, I only drank two cups of java this morning and continued to drink more water. By the way, I used to like water before today. You know, before I drank the equivalent to one of the Great Lakes.

My breakfast consisted of 2 eggs whites...yum. No, really. I like egg whites. I ate egg whites before it was cool to eat egg whites...a little habit I picked up while working in the Bahamas, which was several light years ago. Then, I had an orange and some grapes for a snack. By 11am I texted The Husband that I was hungry enough to eat a zebra. By 11:50am I was watching my Lean Cuisine pizza spin round and round in the microwave determined to wait until it was cooked all the way through before I devoured it in 3 bites.

An hour later, I texted The Husband that I was now craving a chocolate covered zebra and then the rest is a blur. Because I had to stop at Costco. Oh Costco. You with your delicious little samples just taunting me. I had a Jamaican beef patty sample, then some kind of low-fat veggie sausage flavored patty that I would have gagged and spit out last week (when I was eating large quantities of normal food). It was delicious today. I licked the toothpick when I was done....but, anyhoo.....

I managed to make it out the door before I ate a mini quiche sample, but I did get a Diet Coke before I left since I am human and all. The major victory was not purchasing the churro from the snack bar whose picture made my mouth water while in the the checkout line with my broccoli and lettuce. More proof that God is real or I would've left there with a churro in my mouth and one or two in my purse for later.

I figured since I fell off the wagon at Costco some nice salmon for dinner would be a good idea. except that my family for the most part hates fish. So being the hypocrite that I am (don't judge me) I made them all chicken patties with french fries and I ate the salmon. With broccoli. Oh yeah, and some French onion soup. I was rewarded for my semi-healthy behavior by both #1 and The Husband kissing me good night and telling me my hair smelled like fish. So, I finished the rest of the rice pudding I made for new year's eve with a cup of coffee. But, at least I didn't put whipped cream on it, okay??

Needless to say, I won't be weighing myself on my Wii Fit anytime soon. Or, writing any weight loss books. I just can't wait to do it all again tomorrow!

I Feel Like I Just Jumped Off the High Dive....

2010-01-01T23:17:00.004-05:00

Perhaps I was caught up in the possibility of a new year and all of its potential. I just submitted my first article query to a national PTO magazine. Now, I'll wait to see if they are willing to accept it before I write the actual article. I am feeling part excitement, part embarrassment! I had the idea a few weeks ago, but I have no clue if the editor will find the idea as interesting as I think it is!

The Husband blew me away on Christmas morning with his show of support. A few weeks ago I had been telling him about how I get ideas for stories while I pray commuting to and from work, and that I try to jot the ideas down on whatever paper is handy in my van. He didn't like that idea very much....something about it being dangerous and me crashing into things! So, on Christmas morning I unwrapped a handheld voice recorder from him with five very powerful words written with Sharpie on a note attached to the box:

Because I believe in you.

I figured I'll never know if I don't at least give it a try, right? Thanks to all of you for your prayers and words of encouragement! I have reached the conclusion at the ripe age of 39 and 5/6 that life is too short not to pursue the desires of your heart. After all, God put them there!!

See Ya 2009! Bring on the New Year!

2009-12-31T08:32:00.004-05:00

On the eve of a new year many of us look back on the previous year and are either glad it is over or remark that it was a "good year". I'm fairly certain the only recent years that stand out in my life as being traumatic are the years I miscarried and we opened our first Subway restaurant (in retrospect I think I may have miscarried due to hovering on the edge of a nervous breakdown), the following year when my Pop died and then the year we closed the cafe (which we are still feeling the financial hit from three years later). In between all that heartbreak, good stuff happened, but I think it was the year we closed the cafe that sucked a lot of the "dream" out of The Husband and me. Thankfully, I am feeling a bit of the weight starting to come off and while we aren't exactly sure where we are headed, we are trying to be patient and go where God is leading!

This year had its share of drama at our house. GAS suddenly, with no explanation left at the beginning of the summer to move back with my mom. She didn't come to say good-bye; she just sent my mom and a friend to come and get her things and when I spoke to her she said this was just the way she wanted it and nobody did anything wrong. My heart was broken and rejected because I somehow felt made out to be the "bad guy". I thought we had given her a pretty good life here. But, love being what it is means not necessarily passing on the heartbreak to the one who caused it (especially when she is 87), so I let it all go and tried my best to be forgiving towards her and my mom (despite the injustice of it all and my desire to get to the bottom of why she really did it). In a family where guilt is a predominant emotion, both given and received in large quantities, it was best to lick my wounds in private and move on. And, I feel like God has showered me with His peace in the process.

This past year was also our first year with a full-fledged teenager. And, while I would like to share some of the details with you I will respect #1 and my relationship and try best to summarize it. Of course, having one teenager does not make me an expert but I've found with her (and, with working with the youth group) you can't push and you can't talk down to them to get what you want out of them. On the other hand, I've told her I can't be her friend, I've got to be her mom! We have had fun together, but we have also had a lot of good honest conversations, especially after butting heads over something. I try my hardest to explain that the root of 90% of my decisions is based in the word of God and not me being randomly "unfair". The other 10% is based on scheduling conflicts!

So, I'm saying good-bye to 2009 with a hopeful heart. Not because it is just a new year, but because I have felt the leading of the Lord and His wonderful presence in my life. No bells and whistles. It's more like a deep down knowing that He will lead me whether it is January 1, 2010 or September 25, 2018 or any other day for that matter.

Happy New Year, friends!

My 2009 Top Ten

2009-12-30T08:30:00.006-05:00

Since the new year is approaching I figured I needed some kind of top ten list for 2009, but, "Top Ten" what? So, here it goes. Ten of my favorite things from 2009 in no particular order except number 4 (just kidding!).

10. Disney World, snorkeling and most of our Florida vacation when we were not trapped in our van for hours at a time. We hope that 2010 holds a new adventure somewhere we have never been that does not require large quantities of driving.

9. Cake Boss. The only show I record and watch marathons of. It was thrilling to go there and see it up close!

8. Being published in a local magazine. It has inspired me to write more.

7. My 39th birthday. Because from here on out I don't want to be in my forties. I will enter them kicking and screaming. Chocolate covered strawberries may help a little bit, but I'm just not ready to be forty.

6. Soccer. Indoor and outdoor. Travel and intramural. If I had time (and, athletic ability), I'd play, too! And, actually I enjoyed watching the girls play softball and cheer, too.

5. Wii tennis. I have surpassed The Husband as reigning tennis champion in the house. In fact, I really adore the Wii because it is the only video gaming system I can win anything. And, I play a lot!

4. The deck by the pool. The Husband finished building a deck around the pool and made it so much more conducive for entertaining. Despite it not being a very hot summer, he and I spent a lot of time out there drinking coffee enjoying the view and watching the kiddos swim.

3. PTO. We had a great year and exceeded our fundraising goal by almost $10,000. I will finish my presidential term in June and while part of me will miss it, the other part of me feels free to do other things I've put on the back burner for the last two years. I've had the privilege to volunteer with and get to know a lot of other parents and teachers throughout the last year. Our school rocks!

2. My job. It's been great working with the people I work with and the flexibility of my schedule will have me there for years to come. Unless of course I ever take the writing thing seriously and do that instead. Or, launch my talk show. Or, open a bagel shop.....

1. My family. It has been a whirlwind of a year. The Husband is so tolerant of our overstuffed schedule. The girls are growing up and trying new things. The teenage years prove to be a balancing act of letting go and keeping close. And, because we have been so busy it leaves us with little energy/time to just hang out with friends. We plan to improve on that in 2010! Along with those 25 pounds I need to resolve to lose!

If You Aren't Into Cake Boss, This Will Be the Most Boring Post You Will Ever Read

2009-12-28T20:15:00.022-05:00

The Husband and I decided to be spontaneous on Sunday morning. We loaded up the kids into the van and didn't tell them where we were going! Two and half hours later we pulled up in front of Carlo's Bake Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey. This is home to Cake Boss on TLC. And, we are all really, really big fans of the show!

The girls were so excited, in fact #3 was a little freaked out when she realized where we were at! It was easy to find since there were crowds out on the sidewalk. If you ever decide to visit, try it on a weekday! We found some off street parking nearby and headed towards the bakery after a quick lunch down the street at Johnny Rockets.

When we walked up to the door we were "greeted" by a serious-faced Louie ("greeted" in the sense that he is the only person allowed to open and close the door). He gave us a number and we pushed ourselves inside, coincidentally following the show's producer. For a moment I thought maybe we were at a Jonas Brother concert. It was wall-to-wall people and I panicked when I realized that I could not even see what was in the bakery cases. And, when I did catch a glimpse of some cookies, cakes and pastries there was not a price to be seen. It was like being in one of those expensive French restaurants where there are no prices on the menus and no one would dare ask how much something cost. I prepared to spend anywhere between $10-$100 for the dessert we were about to order. And, then I saw her. One of Buddy's sisters at the cash register. The girls say it was Mary, but her hair looked way different and I'm pretty sure it was Lisa. I couldn't stare for a long time because I was trying to form an actual order in my mind for when our number was called. I just kept looking around...we had a great view of the famous stairwell where Danny and Cousin Anthony dropped the cake. And, really it just looked so bakery-ish. So. Cool. I felt like we were on a TV set. I guess we were!

After only about 5-6 minutes a young girl called our number and I ordered our baked goods with as much confidence as if I was a regular there. A chocolate brownie for #3, a giant chocolate covered strawberry for #1, a cannoli for #2 and another one for The Husband and I to share and then, because it looked like it was pure Cake Boss heaven, a mini white chocolate mousse cake with chocolate ganache and a white chocolate molded snowman on top....shaved chocolate along the base. While we were waiting for our order to be boxed up, I got closer to the counter and out pops Grace, Buddy's other sister (the one who wanted to cook Thanksgiving dinner, Joey's wife). Then, the girl taking our order said the only brownies they had contained nuts but she could check in the back for plain ones. I graciously said a chocolate cupcake would be just fine (I didn't want to be a pain, although there was a rumor floating around that Buddy was coming down and I was tempted to stall!) Eventually, Grace rang up our order as I watched all the Carlo's Bakery boxes stack up. The lady in front of me spent $71. Another person next to me spend $36 and when Grace totaled my order it was $15.80! I almost apologized for not spending more.

I was handed my glossy Carol's Bakery bag and you would have thought I had a designer handbag in there. I proudly carried my bag outside and smiled sympathetically at the people lined up on the street. Oh, they just didn't know what sights they would behold upon entering the famed establishment. Pictures of Buddy all over the walls with cakes, employees coming downstairs with smaller, but definitely "Cake Boss" looking cakes. It was almost too much to take in at once, especially your first time. It was surreal.

In the end, the oH mY wORD family gives Carlo's Bakery 10 thumbs up and we can't wait to go back. Everything we ordered was delicious! #2 was funny because she found something green in her cannoli. After realizing it was some kind of candied fruit, I told her maybe she got lucky and it was one of Buddy's boogies! She didn't eat much after that because she kept picking out the "gross green things". That's okay...more yummy cannoli for me!

Can Someone Please Explain How It Is December 22nd?

2009-12-22T21:33:00.006-05:00

I know the fall layout on the blog can be confusing, but I seriously feel like we were just carving up that Thanksgiving turkey a few days ago. I was doing so well....mailed cards out early, decorated, shopped, baked, shipped, and still managed to clothe and feed my family. Yet, here I sit with a to-do list that will take about 5-7 business days to complete and something has to get scratched off the list.

For instance, the homemade eggnog I was going to try and make for my dad, despite never really drinking the stuff myself. I'm trying to think of different things since we have so little money to spend this Christmas (budget, people, budget....must stick to the budget, my family must want to stuff me in a closet by now from hearing me chant that hourly through the last 6 months) I decided to go for the "awwww, isn't she sweet/creative/out of her mind" factor. Like the free dinner at our house certificate along with an autographed copy of The Mailman DVD that we used as a white elephant gift for a friend's party. And, like allowing each of the girls to invite 6-18 buddies over to have a little Christmasy cookie decorating fun (that can count as one of their gifts, right?). And, let's not forget another white elephant gift: the clever "Instant Yard Sale Kit" complete with price stickers and all the junk you need to do your very own yard sale. Patent pending in the U.S.. No one will ever invite us to another Christmas party again after that little surprise!

There are some tasks that are non-negotiable. Baking a birthday cake for Jesus. Making a gingerbread house (Lord, help me). Wrapping the kid's presents. Doing more laundry. Christmas Eve service. Fried cheese.

So with a few more gifts to finish and assemble (one worthy of Etsy.com in my humble opinion) I wonder if I will ever spend a December 23rd not running around with a glazed, panicked, don't talk to me unless the house is on fire, look on my face. I guess tomorrow will tell....

Things I Should Be Doing Right Now....

2009-12-10T22:00:00.002-05:00

....but, it is so much more fun to blog about them instead of actually doing them! Here is my to do list I am not doing:

1. Update my autumn blog template to something generic that does not need to be re-configured as the seasons change. Or, we can all pretend I'm really prepared and on the ball for September. Changing my template ranks right up there with the visit to the dentist, which is exactly why I only want to change layouts twice a year. And, when the HTMLNOPXYZ codes don't work, that ranks up there with the yearly check-up at the OB/GYN.

2. Fill out a permission slip for #1's winter concert. When did they start making school paperwork feel like I'm filling out an application for a second mortgage? I thought I gave them permission to do whatever they wanted with my child when I filled out enough paper to kill a redwood the first night of school. Please list 34th emergency contact's name, phone number, dog's name and favorite flavor of ice cream: ______________.

3. Create a flyer for our PTO Talent Show. I don't have Publisher on my new computer and the old computer will randomly give me the "blue death screen" and cut out without ever acting like it knew what I was doing, so I'm weighing my options. It's like Clint Eastwood staring me down asking "Do you feel lucky?" and I don't, so I'm choosing procrastination.

4. Laundry. Yes, and you all should be doing yours, too.

5. Ummm...sleeping? Yes, I most definitely should be sleeping. So, good night!