New years. New months. New shoes.
I am thankful for the high, low and normal, routine days of 2010. It all prepared me for what is to come this next year. Whatever that is going to be.....
I did learn a thing or two the other night that may help me in the coming year. I will share it with the blogosphere and maybe it might help some of you, too.
I was out dining for a co-worker's birthday the other night while #1 was at the movies with her boyfriend and another friend. The restaurant was close to the movies, so I was going to pick her up when it was over. The movie actually let out early, just as we were getting our food so I asked her for ten minutes. Unknown to me, she texted me a few minutes later that she had gotten dropped off at the restaurant (poor reception on my part so I didn't get it until a few minutes later). She said she saw my van and knew I was inside but she couldn't get ahold of me. She asked an employee (who spoke almost no English) if there was a work party there and he said we were in the back. We were at the back, but I was sitting in a cave-like booth with my back to the dining room, virtually hidden. She walked back several times looking at all the tables and didn't recognize anyone so she started to panic. She went into the bathroom and saw that I wasn't in there, as she was still trying to call me on her cell phone. She started to get nervous that she would get thrown out of the restaurant so she went outside trying to rationalize that she knew I was in there. I finally got her text and went outside to find her in tears. She had called her boyfriend to come back for her and then I walked out as he pulled up. After we sorted through the whole story, she calmed down and we laughed about it. I kept saying to her "why did you get upset when you knew I was there?". She admitted she wasn't sure why, only that she could not see me and she had looked everywhere.
The next day I realized that I know how that feels. How many times have I believed that God is with me, but I could not see Him? I search and search and it looks like He left, yet I know He hasn't. But, those tormenting confusing thoughts begin and pretty soon I am in a panic because it doesn't make any sense. If He is here, than where is He?? Circumstances, decisions, disappointment, sickness....God, if you are with me, then where are you?
But, that's it. I was there in the restaurant all along. Had #1 not felt like she didn't belong there and looked a little closer, she would have found me. Perhaps, if I look a little closer and walk in my God-given authority, I will see Him, too.
I believe that is exactly what I'll do from now on. I will not be afraid. I will not give up. I will seek out my Father in every circumstance since I know....He is definitely waiting for me.
P.S. #1 granted her permission to use this story! :)