Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Am I Going to be Anxious or Excited?
God gave me a beautiful thought today as I was thanking Him for even the smallest of things I used to take for granted.
Let me set the scene first.....I've been sending out resumes for jobs this week for when the girls return to school. While I would love to work only part-time, right now we have so much catching up to do from the last 3 years that I've been applying for full-time positions. Begrudgingly. Afraid. The Husband's schedule allows him to go into work so early in the morning that he should be home in plenty of time when they get off the bus in the afternoon. But, I've already figured out all the things that could go wrong....the kids getting sick, scheduled days off from school and me having to work while they're at home, not being able to go into school to help and eat lunch, etc.... And, the guilt. Years and years of being a semi-stay-at-home mom listening to other SAHMs bash those who work full time. I never really shared that opinion because I believe if people are following what the Lord has called them to, then who am I to judge if they should work or not? And, how many kids staying at home with their moms just sit in front of the TV for 4-6 hour stretches? Ah-hem. I'll stop there.
Yes. It's safe to say I've been a little anxiety-ridden. Throw in a little of "God why did we pour so much money into a restaurant that failed?" and I've had to wake up each morning shaking off the blues.
Ok...so, rather then lick my wounds and give in to the fear of the unknown, I'm going to trust Him. If there is a not a peace with a full-time job I won't take the job. If He wants to bless me with any amazing part-time job, that's good, too. Maybe I'll get to work some hours at home, or maybe I'll work at one of their schools.
So, the very first picture He showed me this morning was a wrapped up gift. And, a reminder that He gives good gifts to His children. This situation is no different and He does not expect me to settle for something that will make me and my family miserable. That thought really calmed me and now I feel protected. And, I'm excited to open up the present and see what He has waiting for me!