I realized something about myself in the last few days. I am afraid to take a risk. I miss my carefree self, who didn't question God a hundred times a day, "Are You sure? Really, God? Are You sure? But, what if this happens and this doesn't happen...I don't know". Life has a way of trying to define you with circumstances, both good and bad. It is a daily battle I fight (thankfully, I have some good weapons, as in the Word of God) and you can imagine my angst right now as I have put off applying to college since I prayed about it for the last six months! Time is running out to enroll for the fall. I kept reasoning that I just didn't have the time and I could never afford to finish my bachelor degree (I have an associates degree). Then, I felt like God was leading me in this direction, and I needed to believe that everything would fall into place. That doesn't mean it will be easy, it will definitely require quite a bit of sacrifice and a financial miracle. I have to believe that when I get on the other side of this, all the hard work will be worth it. I have to hope that it will open doors and opportunities, not just as an end result, but also in the process! I have to expect that as God works out every step of the way, my faith will increase, too!
So, yesterday, after rescheduling three times, I met with an admissions coordinator for Elizabethtown College. I prayed. I applied. I requested transcripts. I filled out paperwork for financial aid. I prayed. I doubted. I prayed. I chose my classes, in the event I get accepted, since the first semester begins August 16 (there are actually three 5-week sessions per semester in their adult continuing education program). Now, I wait. And, pray.
So, the writing I have been doing may have to go on the back burner for awhile since I will be required to write a variety of sixteen-page research papers for the next few years! But, if I can keep my eyes on the prize and most of all, on Christ, then this just may be one of the best journeys ever.