Her Name Meant Life

It was a sad day.  Very suddenly, our eleven-year old cat, Zoe, drug herself by the front paws across our living room floor, flopped down and was panting.  Thank goodness I took off work today.  The girls and I rushed her to the vet to find out that an x-ray confirmed she had heart disease and a blood clot had broken off into her blood stream and had cut off the blood flow to her legs.  She was on oxygen and the vet explained that since she was in a lot of pain, the most loving thing we could do was put her to sleep. I have never in my entire life had to endure this. We said a quick good-bye because I just could not prolong her suffering (and ours) any longer.  I signed the paperwork, they put her to sleep and I carried her out in a cardboard kitty coffin that made me feel as if I was just putting a cake in the trunk of my car.  Not my sweet Zoe.  Because the little dear was just on my lap the night before as I did my homework at the computer.  How in the world did this happen, our morning had been so normal?? 

Grief is a peculiar thing.  Each of the girls processed it differently and out of respect for their feelings, I'm not going to get into details about that.  Of course, she is a cat, not a human being, however, she was a part of the family and we choose her when she was an 8-week old kitten almost eleven years ago.

The Husband came home from work and buried her on our property with a cross marking her grave.  The girls all have friends over now, as originally planned, but tonight is still marked with sadness.  It's been rough, but life goes on.  Thankfully, during the chaos today, I still felt God;s perfect peace guiding me and comforting me.

Who Showed Up Forty-Five Minutes Late to Her First Class?

I did! I did!

Yes, the drive that should have been fifteen minutes took me an hour and fifteen! Every move I made to an alternate route resulted in traffic from an accident or construction. I was close to turning around to go eat ice cream and play Uno at home and forget this whole crazy college thing. Thankfully for me, The Husband was on the phone being thankful that I wasn't the one in any accidents. After I realized I would be more then fifteen minutes late, the stress left me. Whether you walk in twenty or forty minutes late, the rest of the class is going to look at you like "What's your problem getting here on time, Loser? There are only three classes to attend and the rest are online". Well, that's sort of what I imagined they would say.

Upon arriving, I tried to park in the lot that was full. I didn't want to park in the parking garage and come out at night. So, I parked down the street in a residential area. I heard some kid yell, "Hey, who is that parked in front of our house?". I scanned the area to make sure I was not in some kind of NO MINI-VAN PARKING THURSDAY EVENINGS FROM 6-10PM spot. I appeared to be okay parking there, although in the back of my mind, I thought it would have gone well with the theme of my night if I came out to a towed vehicle.  Just something more fun to blog about, right??!!

I jogged (not a pretty sight in flip flops with my purse and school bag) over to what I thought was the right building.  When I had met with my admissions coordinator, she explained that most of my classes would be in the same building we had our meeting. I headed in that direction and when I walked in, I noticed that the name of the building didn't match the name on my schedule. It had one of those "You are here" maps and I had to turn my body sideways to face the direction to know which way to walk. Me going to the wrong building and parking in the wrong place when I am already late is completely in character for me. Had I made it to the correct location on time I would have wondered if I had some kind of alien body invasion.

I arrived at the CORRECT building (thankfully) and bolted up the stairs. At the top, I realized I had gone up one floor too many so I went back down, huffing and puffing. I walked in the class with my head down mumbling about traffic and then realized something. I felt like I was going to pass out from my dash up the stairs after a 75-minute commute all jacked up on 44-ounces of caffeine filled Diet Coke and a frozen coffee drink. I firmly decided I was already too embarrassed to allow myself to pass out, so I began shallow breathing, as subtle as I could until the black spots went away.

The class was a typical intro to "all the insane amount of work you'll have to do in a ridiculously small amount of time" kind of class. On the break, those 44-ounces of Diet Coke were begging to be released, but the ladies room was down on the first floor. I tried a different stairwell this time. The one for the Oompa Loompas. I'm not kidding, it was the width of my hips. If I eat too much over Thanksgiving break, they will have to call 911 to get me out of there. When I came back up the Oompa Loompa stairs, I made sure I stopped at the second floor.

Oh, and by the way....my left brain and right brain scored exactly the same amount on the dominant brain test, so I found out tonight I am middle brained. That may explain a lot.....

Life. A Semi-Rhyming Poem.

There is so much to ponder about life.
Am I a cool mom and a fabulous wife?
What about me? I'm so busy most days...
I forget if I shaved my legs this morning.

I'm starting class this week....
Brushing up on my writing technique.
What am I thinking, I may be insane.
I'm missing the days playing Candy Lane (ok, not really).

No time to blog.
Or, play. Or, sleep.
But, hopefully, there is still time
to eat brownies. 

This is so not a poem,
I'm just kinda tired.
My fingers missed typing,
Three coffees have me wired.

Needed a break from my studies.
I missed my blogosphere buddies.
I'm going to eat ice cream now.
Yes, this is stupid.

It's Finally Hitting Me

Call it exhaustion.  Or, emotional overload.  Maybe it's relief.  Or, feeling like I played a part in something bigger than any of us thought it would be.  I'm not sure.  I just know that the tears are starting to fall and I'm trying to keep quiet since there are four extra girls spending the night to celebrate #2's eleventh birthday.  Maybe, all the extra estrogen is contributing to my tears, too?

Today, Brandon's video was chosen as the winner of the Great American Video Contest and he is on his way to Cincinnati as I type. He will be attending Sean Hannity's Freedom Concert.  His video will be shown at each concert across America.  That means hundreds of thousands of people will see me bawling while I make out with my husband on a giant screen.  I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around our "fifteen-minutes of fame".

I am so happy and excited for Brandon and praying that this just leads to more opportunities for him to showcase his amazing God-given abilities.  As for me and The Husband....well, we aren't going to be quitting our day jobs anytime soon!  I realized along the way it stopped being about Brandon winning a Jeep and us being seen by thousands and became more about the people whose lives were being touched and honored by this one-minute film.  I love when God brings a bunch of people together who are focused on His kingdom and teachable.  That's when the real "magic" happens.

Thanks for voting and all your encouragement! To God be the glory!

Back to School Panic Attack

Wow.  I just received my "learning module" for my my first class at Elizabethtown College that starts in two weeks and I got a little nervous.  Actually, all the spit dried up in my mouth and I felt Amazon killer butterflies attacking my stomach.  Each of my five-week classes are "accelerated", but in a scary, will-I-ever-get-to-sleep-more-than-three-hours-a-night kind of way.  I also have not heard back about my Financial Aid.  Talk about a leap of faith...I know me and I can't believe "me" is doing this! I know I enjoy that fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of feeling, but this is a little crazy even for me! I'm noticing I seem to be on the hyphen kick tonight, too.  But, that is completely random and unrelated to the chaos of trying to buy books online and by some miracle, actually read most of them before the first class.  So, we can discuss them.  Like....I actually have to talk in front of strangers.  And, a professor.  Lord, help me.

Eventually, after I finished reading the 16-page document we can call my syllabus, I began to feel at peace again.  A little encouragement from my family helped, too (but, I'm wondering how encouraging they will remain when I get home from work, throw together some grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner and leave them a list of chores to do as I either dash off to class or lock myself in a room to write a fifteen-page research paper). I hope and pray they still adore me when this semester is over.....and, really, it's not like it will be like that EVERY night.  I hope. I refuse to relinquish my title of Super Mom.  The joy of the Lord will be my strength.  I hope.

I've said it before many times...sleep is over-rated. 

Who, What, When, How and Why

What:  Honor: Pass It On, one of the top four finalists in Hannity.com's Great American Video Contest.  Please vote once a day here.  Over 400 videos were submitted and we are so excited that it made the final four!

Who:  Produced, directed and filmed by the talented Brandon H.. Hundreds of people who pray for him and believe in him also played a small role!

Why:  To honor the great men and women who have served in the military and to win a Jeep Grand Cherokee for Brandon!

When: Vote once a day now through August 5th from every computer you have, your family has, go use your neighbor's computer, your smart phone, the computers at the library and ask everyone with their laptops at Starbucks to vote, too!

How: This is the cool part...filming with Brandon is like being a part of some bigger picture.  God kicks up the wind to make flags blow and He showers us with peace and grace throughout the process. I'm not sure I ever prayed so hard during a film shoot as I did for Honor: Pass It On (although, I have always prayed like crazy when doing theater...things like, please don't let me fall off the rolling track stage or Lord, don't let me split my dress, etc....).  I believed even as we filmed this video that it would win.  I am definitely patriotic and the idea of this one-minute film touched me and broke my heart all at the same time.  Why not shake a hand and/or triumphantly welcome our military servicemen and women home?  I am inspired and I hope you are, too! By the way, each of those men portrayed in this video actually served in that branch of the military....true heros, all three of them (including my adorable husband I'm seen smooching with at the end).

As you watch it, please say a prayer for those serving overseas and for their families who anxiously await their return.