Uh. So. Anyone Else Spontaniously Quit Their Jobs Today?

After dealing with all the confrontation documented in my previous post, I tried to get some work done. After leaving countless voice mails that never get returned, a mean lady hung up on me. I burst into tears cursing every PMS demon that was attacking my mind today. I work at home about 15 hours a week and it is lonely. I leave voice mails and emails to set up appointments for my boss who is the owner of a promotional product company. So, even though I have valid contact information, people either ignore me or hang up on me confusing me with either an annoying telemarketer or a machine that has no feelings.

Today was not a good day for a mean lady to hang up on me.

I ended up having a heart to heart with my boss and he was very understanding. I told him I felt like I am just not doing what I am gifted to do. I need to be around people and do projects and events that people benefit from. I babbled on and on about not knowing what I am going to do, but sensing that God wants me to trust Him with the timing. So, as of the end of March I will be unemployed. I don't know what emotion is prevailing right now....relief or fear.

Gulp.

P. S. The offended mom called me back with "her daughter's side of the story". Her daughter burst into tears because she was shocked to find out she did anything wrong. With the amount of volcanic emotional pressure building in me I knew I had to stay upbeat and thank the good Lord that I am His temple in which He dwells and I needed to remember what I prayed for earlier. I think we ended the way-too-long conversation on a fairly good note (I tried to say some good, encouraging things about her daughter as I gently beat around the bush trying in not so many words to say "she's not really telling you the truth, WOMAN!").

Have I Mentioned How Much I Dislike Confrontation??

We had a rather rough talent show practice yesterday. I was short handed with volunteers due to illness and #1 willingly helped out with the group that I normally work with (in addition to answering no less that 11,238 questions from the rest of the students and helpers). So, she stayed with them and one of the girls is what you may call.....hmmmmm.....I pause for a moment to word this appropriately.... a bit of a challenge? She was really out of control, particularly with one of the other girls her age and she just would not cooperate (she must not have gotten the memo that the name of the show is We're ALL in this Together).

I already talked to the victim's mother (who was great and very understanding), but now I must confront the perpetrator's mother. UGH! I hate this. I know it is necessary, not just for the show, but for this girl's future and the future of her children and grandchildren (ok...I'll cut the dramatics....I'm nervous and babbling).

So, deep breath, much prayer (although, it is absolute mindless prayer of asking for wisdom and gentle words over and over and over and over again) and I have a phone call to go make.

I think I'm gonna throw up.

The post report - That didn't go as well as I would have liked it to. It was the worst 3 minute, one-sided, awkward conversation I've had in a long time! The mom said about 2 words to me after I gently and honestly shared some of her daughter's behavior problems during practice. I have a strange feeling that although this girl is known for her "issues", few people have ever brought it to the mom's attention before. I could not tell if her lack of an apology or explanation was due to shock or anger (I'm guessing both). And, her son is in #3's class, so "Yay Me"! We've already had some conversations with teacher about when he called #3 a loser and stupid. Well, I ended the conversation by asking her to talk to her daughter about cooperating and following directions no matter who is in charge and she responded with a clipped "okay". I was disappointed that she didn't ask more questions or try to offer some sort of acknowledgment confirming that behavior is unacceptable. But, then I started to realize that perhaps, this is why her children don't "play well with others". Lord, I pray that you keep my heart soft and my walls of defense down when dealing with this family. I also pray that they do not drop out of the show because of taking offense. And, I also pray that I can allow Your light, Jesus, to shine in me and through me to be a blessing to this family. Amen!

I Want One!

I needed this when I went on my "grown up" interview the other day! Oh, so sophisticated!

Almost Ten Random Ramblings

It's been awhile since I just posted about random things going on in my life and so since I have no deep, spiritual thoughts at the moment to share and no new pictures or tales to tell I'll just try to entertain you with some mindless tidbits from my life.

Mindless tidbit #1 - My sweet #3 has a new habit. Several times during the day she'll tip toe down to GAS's room, throw open the door and yell "BOO!". She thinks it is the funniest thing ever. When I told her it is not very nice to keep scaring GAS on purpose she says: "But, Mommy, you should see how funny her face looks when I do it!" And, then #3 does an imitation of what GAS looks like when she scares her. GAS thinks it's funny (and, I think she likes the attention) so I just let #3 keep doing it. I make sure GAS has taken her heart medication that morning just to be sure.

Mindless tidbit #2 - poor #2 got up yesterday to go to school after missing 2 days from her ear drum rupture/sinus infection only to find she could not stand or walk. She had jumped rope the night before (nothing unusual about that) and apparently, according to her doctor, her muscles were so weak from being sick that she actually pulled both calf muscles. After a shower, some icy hot gel, Motrin and prayer she could limp around holding onto things. She went into school late and her teacher confirmed she had trouble walking. She's still sleeping now and I'm afraid to wake her up because she is running out of body parts to injure and I'm not sure if I can take anymore. She even has had trouble eating on top of everything else because she scraped the roof of her mouth over the weekend with a sharp cheese cracker and she has a new tooth coming in. The poor thing! Just about everything hurts her!

Mindless tidbit #3 - I sent a thank you letter for my job interview and included a link to an online article about why job sharing is such a great idea. I also was so bold as to propose 2 possible scenarios of how that could work for this position, so now I feel like I've done my part and the rest is up to God. It's so strange to not be anxious over it. I'm totally fine if or if I don't get this job. I have no intention of leaving my current job now until summer hits, anyway.

Mindless tidbit #4 - Eating healthy, small portions and exercising this week has not been on my high priority list. Bummer.

Mindless tidbit #5 - Now #1 is home sick with a bad headache. Is there no end to the madness??

Mindless tidbit #6 - I am being nominated for PTO president for the 2008-09 school year. Cool. I somehow have all these parents and teachers fooled into thinking I can be in charge of something so detailed. I wonder if they'll let me use one of those little gavels to make motions to adjourn and stuff. I guess technically, I have not accepted the nomination, yet. I kind of like just helping and concentrating on one thing at a time, but yet, the possibility of having a Christian PTO president serving with a Christian school principle seems like a God thing, doesn't it? Plus, our school is just so great, it would be an honor to serve this way.

Mindless tidbit #7 - Now that Dance Wars is over there is absolutely nothing to watch on TV.

Mindless tidbit #8 - I'm wearing dog pajamas now that The Dog chewed on and there are holes all up one leg. Isn't that ironic? Dog pajamas that a dog chewed on. Maybe she was trying to make a statement that if we get another dog she'll chew it up?! I'm not sure why I keep wearing these since I have at least six other pairs of pajamas that don't have holes in them. These just feel so broken in and comfy, holes and all!

Mindless tidbit #9 (they just keep coming to me) - we have medicine for #2's various infections that you need to use a syringe to draw out of the bottle from Target's pharmacy. She likes to shoot it into her mouth herself; however yesterday as I was ready to take her to school an hour late due to her leg issues, I looked out into the dining room and she was standing there with medicine dripping down her hair, face, shirt and pants. She said she accidentally took it out of her mouth while she was still shooting it. Then, last night's dose got shot across my kitchen floor "accidentally". I've now revoked her shooting privileges.

So, that's it. Hopefully, you stayed awake reading this oh! so! exciting! post about my last few days.

Wordless Wednesday

For more Wordless Wednesdays, check out 5 Minutes for Mom.

Now What?

I went on my out-of-the-blue job interview today and found out the following information.....

• The position is a unique combination of the 2 major work experiences I've performed over the last 18 years, with a great deal of multi-tasking and I think we all know I can do that ( I am a seasoned mother of 3, aren't I?).
  
• The position is available at the end of August. That is quite the coincidence (not) since I wanted the summer off with the kids and to oversee a summer enrichment program I proposed to the PTO at our elementary school.
  
• The position is full-time and this company has never offered this position as a job share or part-time.

So, 2 out of 3 isn't bad, right? I was told that many resumes never make it to the first interview and even less to the second and despite knowing I only wanted a part-time position this manager is recommending a second interview with the district manager. He did tell me at least 4 times that he thinks there is no chance they will allow me to work part-time in this position. He even asked me what I would tell the district manager if he offered me the job, but only if it was full-time. I explained that I would say "No, thank you. If you ever change your mind and would reconsider having me work 20 hours per week, please let me know". I then went on to explain that I am extremely devoted to my family and that knowing my personality and what I want to maintain, I would send my entire household into chaos if I worked away from home forty hours a week ( I don't know how other moms do this and don't fall asleep on the evening commute home!). He seemed to appreciate the honest response and quite frankly, most career coaches would be mortified at me actually ADMITTING I like being a mom and I didn't pretend to just simply survive this area of my life! So, basically it would take a major move of God to hear back from this company because I can totally hear this guy with his co-workers.....

"Yeah, for fun she reads Christian fiction and coaches her kid's soccer team!!! Hahahahahaha! Part-time! Hahahaha!!!!!"

But, I couldn't help but think there is a first time for everything. And, I am completely resting in the fact that if God closes the door, there will be another one opening when the right time comes. And, it was kind of fun getting dressed up and playing "I have an important meeting to go to today"!

What Strange Timing

After I posted this I got a phone call from a well-known company that I had sent a resume to awhile back on a whim and they asked me to interview for their Community Relations Manager position.

That's a little bizarre.

But, wait. My day takes on a twist of its own and instead of retyping all the details, I'll just share the 2 emails I sent out to some friends and family. The first email is a bit frantic. I did have a strange peace about me, yet, at the same time I also felt so helpless.

Please pray for #2…she has had a fever and when I took her to the doctor today she has a severe infection in her left ear and a bad sinus infection. She has spent the last hour in extreme pain, her ear is burning and there is nothing more we can do for her (she has as much Motrin in her that is safe and her antibiotic obviously hasn’t had time to kick in, yet). Please pray for her to be healed from all this and the pain to be gone…..I’ve never seen her cry in pain like this before. She dozed off so I wanted to send this quick note out because I believe Jesus can and WILL heal her! And, The Husband is feeling pretty sick, too. He could use your prayers, as well.

I kid you not...#2 was in so much pain I was getting sick to my stomach. She hasn't felt the greatest since Friday, but around 3:30 pm it seemed like (literally) all hell broke loose to torment her. Even while she dozed, tears came out of her eyes and she would jerk awake from the pain and just shake. Awful does not begin to describe this afternoon.

But, here is the second email I sent out just a little bit ago:

Thank you so much for your prayers! Right after I emailed everyone, she work up screaming in pain and blood was coming out of her ear. I had called our nurse practitioner and she suggested applying a warm, hard boiled egg without the shell to the ear. At first I thought she had to be out of her mind….my child was in EXCRUCIATING pain, can we have a child-sized dose of morphine delivered??? I even wondered how in the world I could leave her bedside to boil the egg…but #1 and The Husband pitched in staying with her and praying with her and trying to keep her calm. By the time I put the egg on her ear (that just sounds so bizarre) a few emails came back including this one:

I just pray in the name of Jesus that any attack would be stopped in the name of Jesus. I just had a picture of the Lord in Battle Armor and a blazing sword of glory standing over your house. When the Lord stands in battle, He is always victorious. I pray victory from pain, sickness, and attack in the name of Jesus. I pray for wholeness and life to flow. He is mighty in battle!

It makes me think of the words to this song:

The Lord is with you mighty warrior

The Lord is with you mighty warrior

So arise

Arise on wings of eagles

Arise on wings of eagles

She fell back asleep and we just prayed that over her. When she woke up a few minutes later she had a shocked look on her face. Blood still continued to come out of her ear, but she said the pain was less. We continued praying and put another egg in her ear! She felt so much better she asked for a cupcake for dinner and she spoke a few sentences to us. A few minutes later she sat up in bed. A half hour later she was doing her homework in bed and an hour later joined us at the supper table where she ate 3 of the hard boiled eggs that we did not use in her ears and a chocolate cupcake that Daddy brought home for her! Praise the Lord! Please continue to keep her in your prayers as this fluid drains from her ears (it is more watery now) and she is still experiencing some pain and discomfort. And, as for The Husband….he has been knocked out with NyQuil since about 7pm and seems to be resting well. I knew it was time to send him to bed as his speech sounded somewhat slurred at the supper table!

We are just so thankful that God knew eggs-actly what #2 needed! Ha! Ha! Get it? I’m sorry….I couldn’t resist!

So strangely enough, in light of the day's events, I'm not certain at all that this new possible job opportunity is right for me now. Number one, it is advertised as full-time (although, God can always work those details out and find someone who wants to job share). But, number two, I am taking the summer off to be WITH MY KIDS (that would be a real miracle if anyone wants to hire me with that stipulation!). Today reminded me that spending time from June through August without a job distracting me from my kids, is non-negotiable. I would've walked barefoot over hot coals to make #2 feel better and God has this great way of getting through to me with real life experiences. I'm a mommy, and I am needed.

I'm not feeling quite so restless anymore. No, instead I am deciding to wait for what God's VERY BEST is for me on a personal level and be grateful I've got a family to pour into in this season. I'm still going on that interview (God knows I need the practice) and I've already played out the scenario in my head of them offering me the job and me giving them my very unrealistic list of demands and then by some amazing revelation of God they hire me for an outrageous amount of money which will lead to my own Talk Show and later my first book....My Lamb's Name is Sparky and You Can't Have Her (a journey of surrendering everything to God).

oH mY wORD!!!! Now, I sound like I've been dipping into the NyQuil!

Is Restlessness a Bad Thing?

Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress.
Thomas A. Edison

I've been pondering my restlessness lately and trying to determine if it is a sign that I need to make some changes or if it is just a selfish response to the everyday monotony of life. Ok...not that my life is boring, it just seems lacking something. It is not at all family related, I think this is more Melissa-related. I am totally relishing my role as wife and mom, but from time to time I lose myself in it only to get to this place I'm at now. And, I'm not talking about a desire to go shopping or get my nails done. It's different.

I know part of this restlessness stems from having a part-time job that I am not passionate about, but because we rely on the income I keep on going. I'm starting to wonder if I'm being fair to my boss or myself. It's like this cloud of grace is slowly lifting off of the time I spend doing it and I find myself daydreaming about the part-time job I long for.....Event Planner, Project Manager or President of the United States of America (ha!ha!....I just wanted to see if you were paying attention!). I also feel very strongly that I would like to take off the entire summer and focus on the kids. I feel like the Lord gently reminds me that it is not time to make a switch, yet, so I should not be so concerned. I almost feel like a race horse in the gate that is jumping up and down frantically trying to paw my way out while the other horses are standing calmly waiting for the race to begin! I am considering the same thing regarding the church ministries I'm involved with, also. I'm just sort of floating about here and there and I'm ready to commit to something, but, I'm not sure what that "something" is. Of course, I've also prayed that the Lord would so bless The Husband in his job that I could spend all my time volunteering in places that just don't have the money to pay someone a salary. We just haven't arrived at that place. Yet.

So, while restless can be a sign that something needs adjusting, it can also be a sign of impatience. I have to disagree with Mr. Thomas Edison, he oversimplifies a bit. Discontent and restlessness have to be closely evaluated to see what is motivating those feelings. Many people live in a constant state of feeling like this. And, they are miserable. Wouldn't you think that discontent is a "man made" emotion, not a God created one? I believe true progress is made when we trust our loving God and allow Him to order our steps for us.

I'm just curious of the opinions out there....is restlessness a good motivating factor or is it a sign of impatience and/or selfishness? What's your 2 cents?