Friday, February 29, 2008

Have I Mentioned How Much I Dislike Confrontation??

We had a rather rough talent show practice yesterday. I was short handed with volunteers due to illness and #1 willingly helped out with the group that I normally work with (in addition to answering no less that 11,238 questions from the rest of the students and helpers). So, she stayed with them and one of the girls is what you may call.....hmmmmm.....I pause for a moment to word this appropriately.... a bit of a challenge? She was really out of control, particularly with one of the other girls her age and she just would not cooperate (she must not have gotten the memo that the name of the show is We're ALL in this Together).

I already talked to the victim's mother (who was great and very understanding), but now I must confront the perpetrator's mother. UGH! I hate this. I know it is necessary, not just for the show, but for this girl's future and the future of her children and grandchildren (ok...I'll cut the dramatics....I'm nervous and babbling).

So, deep breath, much prayer (although, it is absolute mindless prayer of asking for wisdom and gentle words over and over and over and over again) and I have a phone call to go make.

I think I'm gonna throw up.

The post report - That didn't go as well as I would have liked it to. It was the worst 3 minute, one-sided, awkward conversation I've had in a long time! The mom said about 2 words to me after I gently and honestly shared some of her daughter's behavior problems during practice. I have a strange feeling that although this girl is known for her "issues", few people have ever brought it to the mom's attention before. I could not tell if her lack of an apology or explanation was due to shock or anger (I'm guessing both). And, her son is in #3's class, so "Yay Me"! We've already had some conversations with teacher about when he called #3 a loser and stupid. Well, I ended the conversation by asking her to talk to her daughter about cooperating and following directions no matter who is in charge and she responded with a clipped "okay". I was disappointed that she didn't ask more questions or try to offer some sort of acknowledgment confirming that behavior is unacceptable. But, then I started to realize that perhaps, this is why her children don't "play well with others". Lord, I pray that you keep my heart soft and my walls of defense down when dealing with this family. I also pray that they do not drop out of the show because of taking offense. And, I also pray that I can allow Your light, Jesus, to shine in me and through me to be a blessing to this family. Amen!


The Gang's All Here! said...

Sooooo, how did it go? I am totally hangin' here. I need the blow by blow! :)

Livin' Life said...

You did the right thing. I hate how parents of these children will not acknowledge there is a problem. In the end there are really hurting themselves and their dear kids. I am faced daily with issues the boys need to deal with or learn how to handle differently. I guess what it comes down to possibly is the parents feel if their children are struggling in some area then they are failures.

You have a great heart and attitude.Tough words but out of love. Someone who did not care for this young women would not have even bothered. Sorry about my soap box, ministry to kids is my passion and I applaud you for what you are doing with this family even if they don't receive it right now. :)

Beautiful Grace said...

Read Ezekiel 3:18-21.

These verses are sobering, but help us make the right decision when confronting someone.

I remember the time I had to confront a new Christian friend about living with her boyfriend. I was shaking and praying, but I approached her with love and she took it well, ended the relationship and is now married to a great Christian guy.

You may never know what blessings your obedience will open up.