Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Praying for Peace in the Storm

It's so hard when your kids go through tough times, but I am reminded by the Lord that they are not our battles to "fight" in the flesh. That doesn't mean that we don't try our best to equip our kids with encouraging advice and prayer (lots of prayer!).

As great as our overall public school experience has been, there are still some serious "mean girl" issues going on in the middle school. There is a girl (I hesitate to call her a friend) that asks #1 if she can sit with her at lunch every day and so #1 assumes they are friends because they'll also hang out together at recess. But, then the rest of the day the girl does things like call her names that I will not mention on this blog, pushed her down the stairs and never once returns a compliment (#1 will say "that's a nice shirt you're wearing" and the girl will respond, "I know, yours is ugly"). To complicate matters further, they are on the same indoor soccer team (I found this out much to my dismay when #1's team didn't have enough players so they combined with this other girl's team). It has really been a strain and #1 never knows what to expect from this girl. Of course, we've discussed this from many angles. Maybe this girl thinks she is just being "cool" or funny. Her family may talk to each other like this. No matter what #1 tries to do it just seems to get worse. Finally, yesterday the girl asked to sit with her at lunch, #1 said no and tried to explain why. The girl called her a nasty name and stalked off. Then, the rest of the afternoon every time she saw #1 she called her that same nasty name.

Well, #1 has finally had enough. She met with her school counselor (a great lady) and now the 3 of them have a meeting this morning. #1 has tried so many times to talk to this girl about her hurtful behavior, but she'll just tell #1 to "shut up". This girl is well-known (I'm not sure how well-liked) and #1 is very nervous about her making her life even more miserable by having this meeting with the counselor. I told her she is doing the right thing. She tried to handle it on her own and the situation has gotten out of hand (this girl also kicked #1 very hard in the ankle and it still hurts her sometimes, many months later).

Now that I've set the stage for you, please imagine that when I see this girl I would like to throttle her. The counselor told #1 that this girl will try to justify everything with a "I was just kidding around". Apparently, this is common at this age. But for me, it is so hard to step back and watch my kids go through this stuff. Adversity builds their character. I believe that, but who wants to watch their kids suffer? Then, I think of what our Heavenly Father watches us go through day after day, some of it self-inflicted pain from bad choices, and how His heart must break. And, He knows just when to intervene and just when to let His truth and Word guide us and comfort us. That's the kind of parent I want to be.

So, I'll be praying for her during her meeting and I'll be there to listen at the end of her school day. And, in between, I'll be trying not to fret about it!


Livin' Life said...

I will be praying for both of you today. I can't believe the attitudes and things going on in todays kids. Shaggy just had a little girl in his class suspended for something similar. Third grade!!

TCC said...

This reminds me of what I went through in high school. My mom has since told me of the feelings that would rise up in her when she would see those girls. But she did what you're talking about - she prayed and left it with the Father.

I grew sooooooooo much through that experience and although it hurt A LOT I would not change it. I can't believe I said that but it's true.

speakingfreely said...

Swim Champ has been having a lot of friend problems in school also. I was going to say this to you before, but I thought it might help if #1 keeps praying for Swim Champ as she's going through these rough times. Just last week SC asked me if I would pray for her! I asked if i could pray WITH her, and we did, right there in my room. She hasn't made a decision yet about what she thinks about God, but she's getting closer. I'll be praying for #1 as I lift SC up to the throne. Love ya!

Thrills said...

OK, I just read about the substitute in livin' life's blog and now this post. I think I am going to put my kids in a bubble. I don't think I can handle the outside world afflicting them.

Girls can be soooo mean. I'm not sure why.

You are doing a great job of being a mother with public school children.

Classic MaMa said...

YOu are such a good mom, letting her take this situation and deal with it in the proper channels. I don't know if I could do that. I will be praying for her and for you and for that little girl who really needs Jesus.