Mark Your Calendars & Spread the Word!

The Husband and I were just at the State Museum last week with #3 while the other girls were at camp. It is so cool to see the quotes from William Penn about Pennsylvania being a "seed" to the nation. I think it is time to lay down religion that divides and in its place demonstrate the power of a true relationship with God, our loving Father!

And, on a totally random note, didn't I look like I was REALLY sleeping? Because I pretty much was drifting on and off...it was so comfy! :) Ha ha! I also can't help but notice how great The Husband and girls did! We'll work with Brandon any time on any of his projects....what a gifted and talented person he is!

It Feels Like a Brand New Day

And it feels like giving in
It feels like starting over
It feels like waking up, and you know it’s coming
It feels like a brand new day
Open your eyes

Those lyrics are from Jars of Clay "Two Hands". It adequately describes what I have been feeling lately. I alternate between the fear of the unknown, and, yet I am very aware of how safe I am walking in God's will. There have been some struggles lately that threaten to overwhelm me at times. Suspicion, betrayal and anxiety to name a few.......

I hold to the philosophy (if you can call it that) that it is alright to let our kids make mistakes, for them to experience discomfort, disappointment and situations that kick their ducks out of their rows. Now, before you call child services on me, I do not go out of my way to put them in frustrating circumstances such as those, I just try not to "fix" them every time. You have to realize how difficult that is for me....not only out of maternal instinct, but I'm a fixer. Got a problem? I can give you a Plan A, Plan B and possibly even Plans C, D, and Z to work things out. It is a gift. Please. Hold your applause.

So, I had this thought today. If I, a human, parent Biblically, which is my ultimate goal, than why would Father God "fix" all of my disappointments, frustrations and discomfort? Would I be truly healthy if He did? It isn't as if He wants me to suffer any more than I want my own children to suffer. It is heart breaking to see the ones you love go through the pain that life throws at us. But, ultimately, "life" is going to throw that pain out no matter how we receive it. We could sit here and talk all about the fallen, broken world we live in and all the yucky stuff we must endure, but I'm certain that is not the focus God wants us to have. Again, when my kids have a rotten day I don't want to sit there and spend a lot of time feeling bad about it....tomorrow is a new day.

All this random rambling can be wrapped up by saying that certain hurts, memories and situations seem to recirculate in my life from time to time but I feel like it's coming, it feels like a a brand new day. Perhaps, at some point between the last disappointment and suffering He has been at work in me to be more Christ-focused instead of my-feelings-are-hurt-again-focused.

Aaahhhh, that's freedom.......

Oh, Now I Remember.....

...why I don't like exercising to a DVD at home. Sounds so simple, right? I was going to hop on my Wii Fit, but feared it would spit at me, laugh at me or just simply self-destruct since I haven't been on it since February so I went with a Jillian Michaels DVD. I started out good but my Doberman decided when it was time to do push ups that it was some sort of mating call because she dropped her tennis ball and began to do a "love dance" on me. After I shoved her off of me, #3 came out and declared she was hungry. Just wait, Sweetie, Mommy is getting her butt kicked by Jillian Michaels right now. The phone rang. I am not joking! Then, I get everything taken care of and am laying down working on my abs and The Dog is back licking the sweat off of my face....actually she took me by surprise and when I opened my mouth to yell at her she licked me IN my mouth.

Sweet niblets.

So, I have decided to create a realistic exercise DVD that the rest of us common folk can relate to. The instructors will be 25-pounds overweight, gray roots showing and coffee stains on their t-shirts. The camera will capture all angles of their set, including the dust bunnies under the couch and the Sharpay Corvette that should have been put away 3 days ago. I would let a Doberman roam free to randomly lick the sweat off of the participants. And, of course, there will be some sort of multi-tasking circuit involving a phone call and making a Pop Tart while you do jumping jacks. Free with purchase would be a 200 count bottle of ibuprofen.

Yeah, you would buy it wouldn't you?

Good Ole Country Living

As if seeing two snakes this spring hasn't shocked me enough, we discovered a mouse in our laundry room closet at 5am. Coincidentally, the very same closet I hid in during hide-n-seek yesterday. Had I been in the dark closet and the mouse would have made the very bad decision of ....say.....jumping on my head, I'm not sure I would have survived with my wits intact. And surly, the mouse would not have survived the big, terrified lady's thrashing in the dark, crowded closet.

The only comical part of the story was watching The Husband go to battle against the mouse with the shop vac. From my vantage point in the kitchen he looked almost like he was sword fighting. I honestly thought for a moment that he made the whole thing up because he was so dramatically flailing about, but sure enough he scooped up the mouse. He assured me his dramatic flair was really just his desperate attempt to not allow the mouse to escape the closet and go into our (gulp) bedroom. But, I've seen the man try to catch snakes in our yard and his technique is similar....part terror, part determination. Apparently, it works for him.

We debated for about 30 seconds if a mouse can survive being sucked up by a shop vac and live to tell the story. He took it out onto the deck and confirmed that yes, a mouse can survive. As he made his discovery #3 woke up from all the commotion and as he was showing her the mouse it jumped about 4 feet in the air out of the shop vac and ran under the deck.

Oh great.

I am now in the process of sterilizing the closet, removing the contents and either throwing things away or washing and sealing them in my trusty Ziploc bags. Stupid mouse ate all my chocolate marshmallow bunnies that I forgot I bought at Easter and because I have no idea where the little creeper urinated, I had to pitch my box of Splenda. Ew. Ew. Ew.

I guess I'll be researching mouse traps later in the event the mouse decides it was worth the ride in the shop vac to eat my Nutri-grain bars.....

Ready to Get Back in the Saddle Again?

Well, for those of you who thought I had already lost my mind by taking an acting class you'll be even more surprised to know we are considering opening another gourmet coffee/ice cream shoppe. We are only in the talking phase and doing a little research. One thing the research has pointed to is how crazy expensive franchises are, yet, they have their merits.

If you are unaware of our small business history and because my blog does not date back that far (thank goodness because I'm not sure how I could write while I was weeping and gnashing my teeth) we had owned Subway restaurants that were successful, then got brave and decided to sell them and open our own gourmet coffee shop/ice cream cafe. It didn't make it. And upon its death, it took much of our Subway profits with it. You can read a bit more about it here. It has been three years since it closed and my heart still feels a bit broken.

We know that location was a big factor in its demise, but I still worry and fret when I think of the past pain we endured. What if we got a better location and we still don't make it? What if we refinance our house and instead of paying off debt, we invest in a business that we can't live off of?? Yikes! I just can't go there.....ok, I'm going back to my happy place.....there, that's better.

We're praying and looking and talking. And, maybe I've been dreaming just a little bit, too.

Just Call Me "Drama Mama"

Well, I went and did it again. You know what I mean. The thing that makes most people (inwardly) raise their eyebrows and wonder what I've been smoking lately.

I am going to take an official acting class this summer. Taught by a genius, a master, a director I've been privileged to work with in years past who inspires me and everyone else he comes in contact with. And, he loves Jesus a whole bunch, too.

When I first received the invitation I thought, "yeah right, that would be nice in about 5-10 years". Then, I thought "why not?". Then, I thought "I could really go for some sushi right now".....sorry.....I'll try to stick with only the facts and my typical long winded rationale behind the facts.

My latest dabbles here and there in this area that we actors like to call "acting", have been frightening at times and strangely fulfilling. Not in a look-at-me-people-I'm-in-a-pretty-costume-and-everyone-thinks-I'm-amazing kind of way. No, I found out that acting can be boring, frustrating, and humiliating (makes you want to sign up for the class, too, doesn't it?). Yet, somewhere in that process of discovery I found something that makes me feel like I can't wipe the stupid grin off my face. And, you remember the whole "dream" kick I've been on lately? I've been lying to myself all along that acting and directing are a mere hobby to pass the time until something more serious has to be done. When really, I can't wait until the next opportunity comes along.

Being a part of it, big or small, onstage or backstage, invigorates me. So, when I decided I was too busy to take the class I felt the Lord prompting me that it is not by mere coincidence this invitation was extended at a time when I've begun to dream again. I am ready. And, I go before Him with a humble heart and pure motives that may not have been the case several years ago.

I must admit I'm curious where I'll go with this, but I've decided to take it one day at a time and enjoy the journey!

Oh Wait! There is a Part 3!

I really did not plan on writing more about "dreaming and destiny". But, I had an interesting day yesterday somewhat related to my last few posts.....

As I explained previously, we owned several restaurants. The profit we made off of the sale of our Subway was depleted over the following years from the cafe and finally, when that closed, The Husband took an entry level job in customer service hoping to move up in the ranks to a middle management position. We were just happy to receive a paycheck and have health insurance! A year later, we realized there were no management positions opening anytime soon and we could no longer live off of this job. So, he went back to doing what he did before we owned restaurants, truck driving. That's what he has been doing for the last 19 months and that is going well now.

The reason this is all applicable is that we have decided to refinance our house to pay down some debt (otherwise known as the pool) and get a lower interest rate. Things were moving along smoothly until the call came at work yesterday that despite great credit, they could not show 2 years of The Husband having employment in the same field (never mind that before we owned our restaurants he drove a truck for 11 years). Then, the lady started asking me what I pay for childcare, where do my kids go when I am at work, etc....I said they go to school and she asked about afterwards. I told her I work part-time and she went off on me! Seriously! She said they cannot include my income because it is only part-time. Even though if I had taken a full-time aid position at school I would have made the same amount of money I make working 20 hours per week now! I was nearly in tears by the time I got off the phone. She asked if I wanted it officially submitted to the underwriters and even though she assured me it would be rejected, I figured, why not?

This whole train of thought got me thinking again about the (stupid) cafe and how it is such a glaring reminder of how much it messed us up financially. My 1/2 hour ride home from work was spent stewing about how things could be so different if we had made other choices over the last 4 years and how dare that mean lady tell me my part-time income doesn't count for anything! Then, #2 called me.

The kids had beat me home since I worked a little late. When #2 came in she realized that she had left important paperwork from school in her "throw away" pile. She was digging in the trash and then called me in a panic and told me what was going on. When I told her I had found it and pulled it out to put in the school drawer the relief in her voice almost brought tears to my eyes.

It was in that moment, I felt the Lord say to me....I have your "stuff" in a safe place, too....don't panic. I know exactly what you need.

Can I get an "amen"?

Ready To Dream Again (Part 2)

God's anointing and His favor tend to accompany His dreams for your life.

How exactly does that work? You have to be a firm believer that few things are coincidental. Yet, how can I wrap my brain around the theory that God orchestrates the circumstances in our life, while at the same time we are using our own free will? Ouch. I think I just pulled something.

(In the event you are wondering why this is "Part 2", you can click here to read the first part.)

I happen to believe EVERYTHING the Bible says (I'm not one to agree with those who say "most" of the Bible is true). I can't form a doctrine around something that does not line up with the Word of God or something I know nothing about. I can't simply believe the "happy" scriptures and ignore the warnings that we will face trials in life, etc....By the way, I do have a point to make...I'm getting there......

So, if nothing is coincidental and what the Bible says is always true then......

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Where I am is not always where I am going to be. Where I was is not what defines me. Christ in me is my hope, my joy, my peace, my righteousness....I cannot have an identity defined by my past, my current circumstances or my disappointments. But, God can use those things to prepare me for the destiny He has for me. Does that make sense?

So, when His favor and anointing meet up with the dreams He has placed in me there is fulfillment. But, what about the times in between that? I'm learning to be content there, to seek Him and allow my faith to grow. And, to be so very grateful for whatever the current season is and the purposes it has in the fulfillment of God's destiny on my life.