A Good Read

I started a most excellent book (well, it is so far) called The Deborah Company. It is like the author has captured my thoughts, concerns and meditations and put them into an easy to read format with examples of Godly women. I'm reading it with a highlighter and I've re-read the highlights twice already before I can even move on past page 43.

It was always God's heart to set women free to fulfill their highest potential in Christ. However, it was not His desire that this occur through rebellion or the breakdown of the family unit.

The author, Jane Hamon, also writes:

I wanted to be a mother and a wife, but I also wanted to fulfill the call God placed on my life.

I can relate to her, can you? Like Deborah, we are called to be warriors and worshipers. And, hey that sounds good, right? But, then life comes flying at us and I don't feel very warrior-like being Mama Taxi Cab or trying to figure out what item to make for dinner that everyone will eat! There were other words I highlighted throughout the first chapter in various sections, like humility, persistence, hear and encourage. Upon re-reading these highlights I felt as if the Holy Spirit had me mark those words because He wants to work on those specific areas of my life. I think those are the four qualities I lose first when I'm not seeking after Him like I should be.

I hesitate to question this balance of ministry and family because everyone says (and, I do believe) that our family is our first ministry. HOWEVER, one day my children will not need me the way they do now and I do not want to take a 25-year break from persuing God and the plans He has for me. I sometimes wondered if the desire to do ministry work outside of parenting was a form of being discontent. Now, I recognize that the restlessness is merely the desire inside me to move to the next level, to go deeper into the things He has called me to. If Deborah could be a Godly wife (and mother?), but yet seek after and HEAR the voice of God while being a leader in the land....well, I think God may be trying to tell us ladies something. It can be done without striving and burning ourselves out. And, we can do it without putting our families on the back burners.

I don't want to miss a thing by discrediting myself and forgetting that He has a destiny and a purpose for me besides Soccer Mom. Plus, I have an example to set for the three little Deborahs I have the joy of mothering!