This is sort of a series on my last week at camp, so please start at the beginning here.
I must confess I'd be posting much quicker if not for the unfortunate incident that occurred our first full day of camp. I was leaning over the edge of the pool taking a picture of The Husband and #1 when a very sweet and ummmm......mischievous 6-year old boy pushed me into the pool. With my digital camera. As I realized what was happening I tried to throw it and it hit the side of the pool and plopped in. Lesson #1 in trying to brush it off and not let it ruin my day.
Soooooo, I bought disposable cameras and lamented that I have become quite spoiled with the instant gratification that the good ole digital camera provides. But, it was better then nothing and now I am slowly posting pictures off of a disk which the CVS people burned my pictures onto UPSIDE DOWN. Ha. Ha. Isn't that a hoot?
But, this was a week filled with a lot of laughter (more pictures later to demonstrate that). We did have some drama towards the end with another girl that had started to give #1 a hard time by calling her a big mouth and bossy, among other things I don't even want to get into . When I stepped in to tell all the kids involved to be nice to one another and be an encouragement, (after all, we're at church camp, right?) this girl's mom later told me that #1 asked for it because #1 had told the kids not to run through the hallways knocking on people's doors at 11:30 pm and that was none of her business to tell them what they could or could not do. The girls worked it all out, but this mother thought she should corner #1 in the playroom and yelled at her about her bad attitude (which blindsided #1, and scared her while another mom saw what was happening and came over to break it up). By the grace of God I managed to say nothing to her when I found out and just meditated on the scripture "Blessed are the peacemakers". My dear Papa Bear Husband was furious and firmly told this mom to never address our daughter again. Well, after a day of letting it all get to us The Husband and I didn't want to leave things on a bad note so he apologized to this woman for speaking so harshly to her. I really had allowed this situation to suck the joy right out of me. It was then I realized that the devil's main mission is to destroy, rob and kill and I had a choice to let him do that to my joy and peace. I gave up my "right" to give this lady a piece of my mind and made the choice to forgive and teach #1 that hurt people hurt people. Does it still twist a knot in my stomach when I think about it? Yup. But, I don't want to blow it even more out of proportion and continue to let this offense fester inside me.
Letting go was just as hard as climbing that 40-foot rock. It really was. I felt this battle inside of me every time I saw this woman. I felt like I had left #1 unprotected until the Lord reminded me that He was with her and another mom came to her defense. While I can't shield her from all the hurts in the world, God can use those times to strengthen her and trust Him.
I share that story with you because my thoughts were much more wicked then what I expressed out loud at the time. It was during one particularly vicious self-talk that I remembered one of the quotes from Amy Carmichael that the camp pastor had given us. She describes someone "kicking over your bucket". If there is pure water in the bucket, pure water will come out. Likewise with dirty water. The person who kicks over the bucket merely reveals what's in the bucket all along.
I may not have revealed much of my dirty water to everyone else, but Jesus and I knew it was there. I am hoping that with His grace and strength the next time my bucket is kicked over my thought process will be different. And, my water will be pure.