Friday, April 17, 2009

I Don't Think Even Calgon Can Help Me

I'm waiting for a reality show casting for "women who used to be completely normal who have lost their minds in the insanity of their crazy schedules".

Okay....maybe completely normal is a stretch for me, but still.....

I'm going to let you in on a little secret (don't you love when people blog that? As if it is just me and my computer who know the secret and not any random person on the PLANET who somehow ends up reading this). The Husband and I are filming a movie this weekend. Oh yeah. I'm like Hannah Montana with my secret double life.

Well, not really.....cause I'm not exactly famous.

We are acting in a short film written, produced and directed by a very talented up and coming take Hollywood by storm PSU student.

I have a make-up person, thank you very much.

Which is a good thing because I got my eyebrows waxed on Monday and the Holiday Hair woman ripped my skin off. I'm not kidding. For the first time in the history of waxing my eyebrows I have a 1/2 inch scab just under my eyebrow that looks like I perhaps sneezed really hard while applying my mascara. Look out America's Next Top Model......

(Okay, so I'll get to the point of my post because I have to go dye the gray out of my hair....I only pray I don't turn it blue for filming tomorrow)

I am wayyy too busy. Like, even for ME. My standard of "busy" is different than the average standard of busy. This week I have found myself cleaning up bodily fluids, taking kids to assorted practices, try outs, and concerts. All while I have leaped tall buildings in a single bound, done my taxes and almost blew up my microwave.

We were running late to school one morning and my sleep deprived self realized I had not packed #3's lunch, so I asked #2 and #3 to do it right about the time we should be pulling out of the driveway. #1 had put the peanut butter in the fridge (no idea why????) so the girls could not spread it on the bread. In my frenzy (and, I'm talking complete loss of all brain cells) I threw the bread with the hard clump of peanut butter in the microwave. Just grabbed the whole thing, aluminum foil and all, put it right into the microwave......and, watched the fireworks show.

It melted part of the door, but the microwave still thankfully works. I made the mistake of telling my co-workers as I obsessed throughout the day of how ugly my door looks now that I melted it. I decided to just stick a post-it note over the burn marks and try to forget what I had done, but my co-workers....well.....they like to have a little fun:

You really can't get the full effect of how many items in my cube were covered in foil. The funny thing is that they spelled "microwave" wrong so I talked with a Swedish accent all day. That will teach them to make fun of me......

It's been crazy, that's all I can say. My head is spinning with trying to figure out how to get everyone where they need to go every minute of the day from sun up to well past sun down! On top of that, I have to remember my lines for the movie, to feed the children and to shave my legs. Oh, and not to put foil in the microwave.


The Gang's Momma said...

I am completely out of breath from reading that. Cuz I was reading it the way you talk when you are all hopped up on diet fountain C$ke and telling another great story. Whew. I need a nap.

Beautiful Grace said...

oH mY wORD!

On the way to Fire's soccer game today, our caravan of vehicles left our local high school and surprise, there is The Husband dressed like a postal carrier and walking down the sidewalk. Wildly waving, I said to Strongman, "Blow the horn; it's ___________." Strongman wisely did not listen to me, he was, in fact, most likely filming the movie you spoke about in this post.

I get overly excited sometimes! ;)