Friday, November 21, 2008
All I Want for Christmas is an "Easy Button"
Well, not really.
I would; however, like my first grader to not cry every morning before school begging me to home school her because I am "breaking her life". It is really pitiful and I'm realizing as the days go by that "on Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand" really means something to me.
An emotional roller coaster doesn't describe #3's emotional state because that would require "ups". Her days range from quiet to grumpy with a good dose of sick to the stomach and weeping and gnashing of teeth thrown in. Even when she smiles, she seems so unsure of herself.
However, I am going to type this in faith that God HAS A PLAN FOR HER. And, in the suffering we are made stronger. So, that takes me back to the "solid rock". If I did not have an eternal perspective of life I would have surely had a nervous breakdown by now. Wouldn't a lot of us?
I must tell you that the meeting at school was very peaceful and supportive. There was no finger pointing and I sensed a genuine desire to work together as family and school to make #3 her happy-go-lucky self again. They assured me they thought the root of this problem is her missing me throughout her day. I know that it is a big part of it and everyone in the room assured me it was totally normal for first grade. We discussed some new ideas and incentives and I left feeling relieved that it went so well. The only downer being that when I came home from the meeting to drive her to school she ended up being late from throwing up and crying. It sort of put a damper on the little bit of encouragement I had gotten from the session.
But, I assured #3, the oH mY wORD fAMILY are not quitters. We will persevere and stay on track. God will open doors and He will close doors (such is the case at the Christian school we were pursuing....sadly, no room at the inn). There is a lesson in it all. Compassion wells up inside me along with a huge desire to impart a foundation to my children so that when these storms hit in life they are not left unprepared and helpless.
Yes, I dream about the "easy button". Just to wake up one morning and not spiritually and emotionally fight such a difficult battle. I'm ready for "normal". However, greater then the desire to just have life going smoothly is a desire to raise Godly women who don't back down to the enemy.