....to help #1 get elected "mayor"
....to help #3 learn her letters and their sounds
....to help #2 improve in her reading and writing
I've been painting and glittering campaign posters and baking cookies in alphabet shapes and listening to Junie B Jones. I feel as if I have squeezed a week's worth of activities into the past 48 hours, but aside from a slight headache I feel good. God has really been speaking to me about some things. Anger being one of them.
The other morning God directed me to read John and I turned to the story of Lazarus. I read it, but I didn't really "get it". Over the last few weeks I've been hearing about or reading about bad things happening to good people and it has made me angry, not sad. Last Thursday, I was waiting for #2 to get her hair cut and there was an old People magazine. It was about the Connecticut family that was kidnapped and killed and only the father survived. I was so mad as I finished the article, I mean like ready to explode. Usually things like that make me sad or scared, but this was different. I felt something literally shift inside me and I was bound and determined the devil would not have any liberty to destroy anyone I came in contact with, including the lady cutting #2's hair. So, like a missile I shot out my chair and I wasn't even sure what I would say to her her other than God loves you and He sent His Son to die for your sins except that when I got to her all I could think to tell her was what a great job she was doing. Duh. My heart pounding in my chest and I'm saying, "Wow! You are so good at what you do". She looked pleasantly surprised and I stood there wanting to say more, begging for something that didn't sound....you know....insane and that was it. Just some chipper words of encouragement and a good tip was all I could come up with. I was kicking myself as we walked out the door wondering what that whole episode was all about.
So, anyway....the next few days I'm feeling like I should go back to reading John again, there's the Lazarus story. That's when I saw it. It said that Jesus got ANGRY. In fact it specifically said that "anger rose up in Him" and you know what? He was mad at what the devil had done...cut His friend's life short and He (Jesus) was going to do something about it.
Whoa. He didn't have a temper tantrum or a meltdown. He. raised. the. dead!!!
Twice it mentions in that passage that Jesus was angry and interestingly enough it says He wept, too. That just blows me away. How can we even wonder if He understands what we go through day by day? Of course, He understands. But, His anger, much unlike ours, resulted in the power of God to raise someone who was 4 days dead. My anger, by contrast, results in sin.
But, I'm trying to change that. And, I preached my little sermon to the family tonight and they held onto every word. Then #2 prayed that Jesus would help us to keep our hearts soft and not get hard.
Amen, Sweetheart. Amen.