Melissa and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Hair

Oops.

I'd post pictures, but really, a picture does not do it justice. Even if you've seen me recently, you probably have not seen me out in the sunlight. The sun does not hide the harsh reality.

My hair is now every color that hair can possibly be. All at the same time. Except maybe black.

I woke up the other morning sick of looking like a slouch and decided to touch up my roots. I jumped out of bed and ran right to the box of color in my closet. I had bought a new brand, but thought I had matched up the color pretty well. Just in case I'd comb it all the way through my hair and not just do the roots. So, I put the color on my hair and realized that I should have bought 2 boxes because my hair grows very, very quickly. I ran out about 3/4 of the way done, but at least all the nasty little gray roots were covered so I figured I'd be ok.

I am so not ok.

My freshly dyed hair is red, orangish-red in fact, while the rest of my hair remained several shades of blond. I quickly had my hair dresser cut off about 5 inches of the worst part and reassure me that it is all the rage now to have hair that is a darker color on top of a lighter color. In chunks. Big, ridiculous, random chunks.

Problem?

My hair on top is not darker! It is Lucille Ball red! Only fake looking. Oh, I wish I was kidding!

It appears to get lighter and redder every day and while it has only been a week since this debacle my wretched hair is growing and I am already seeing signs of brownish/gray hair growing in. Ok, I meant grayish/brown.

If I told you that I learned my lesson I'd be lying. You see, now I'm going to try and "fix" it by starting all over with a whole new color.

If the next time you see me I'm bald....now you'll know why.

Serve Me Up a Slice of That Humble Pie, Please

Pride can be so deceiving.

I come from a very "strong willed" family, and sort of caught on at an early age that if I focused on others' weaknesses that could only make me stronger (at least I'm not like her, etc). I was confident and insecure at the same time for as long as I can remember.

When I got saved at the age of 23 I brought some of that "Egypt" with me into the Promised Land!

Now, let me assure you....I can hide it pretty well, but the Lord doesn't just go after our outward appearances. He has really put His finger on my critical attitude even though it has been awhile since I have felt like I am "better" than someone else. Oh, but I didn't call it that back then. No, that's where the deceiving part comes in.

It's funny when you think of it (well, not really) but I read Jer. 49.16 and all the other humility verses and thought I had it figured out. Humility was about working behind the scenes or criticizing myself or giving up the vacation to Disney World to go on a missions trip. But, giving up all those things or serving outside the spotlight does not necessarily make you humble. Especially, when you are doing it so that others will notice. Ouch.

Deceived, deceived, deceived.

What I did not realize at the time is that humility cannot be learned, it must be EXPERIENCED.

Me flesh no like that.

I'm really being painfully honest because I've experienced a breakthrough in the last year or so with this. I really hadn't been taking a very good look at this area in my life.

Yes, closing down a business that has been your dream since childhood can make you a little humble. But, God was already working on me before that. Humility comes when you study the Word of God and really, really try to grasp the enormity of what Christ did for us. I cannot simply learn that, I must experience it. How? I'm still figuring that out. For me personally, it seems to be a combination of God speaking to me through His Word and my circumstances. I know He's at work in my life because at some point through the years I've stopped trying to get all the credit for a job well done. I am still working on listening more and talking less, but I've stopped positioning myself to make sure my opinion gets recognized every chance I get. I've come to realize that humility and love rejoice when others succeed so I'm done competing for the "Christian Mom of the Year Award".

And, that's a good thing 'cause I don't iron and I can't figure out 5th grade math! Now if that isn't humbling, I don't know what is!

Sure Signs that Summer is on the Way

I'm excited!

Despite the temporary temperature set back, the summer clothes are pretty much unpacked and nestled in our drawers (oh, alright....they haven't made it to drawers yet, but they are out of their assigned Rubbermaid tubbies). But, do you know what I'm really excited about? Do you want to know why I know summer is a mere month away? The new Spiderman movie will be out soon! Whooopeeeeeeee! Never, in my wildest dreams would I ever be excited about a Spiderman movie.

Unless it is being released between May and August.

The ads are pumping it up....you know....the SUMMER'S big blockbuster hit movie (wink, wink).

Who cares about Spiderman???!!!

I'm ALL ABOUT THE SUMMER!!!! Don't say I didn't warn you. Oh, yes. I'll go see Spiderman 3. But, I'll probably go see it in shorts and with a little bit of a tan and definitely, my friends, with some bright pink toenail polish on.

Woo-hoo!

Shaving 101

Something strange and beautiful is happening in my house.

I taught #1 how to shave yesterday.

It was odd how I remembered my first days with my mom's disposable razor and feeling like I was sort of sneaking to use it. I'm so glad #1 brought it up and I quickly responded in such a way I wanted it to feel as normal as brushing her teeth.

And, in case all of you are wondering....when #1 reaches her next milestone I will not be posting a story about it. I think when I introduce feminine products to her that is way too personal to share with the cyber world until she is at least 29. Even I know where to draw the line!

Well, let me update you in shaving world in case you are unaware of the new products out there. I purchased #1 an Intuition Razor. It comes in different flavors, we got Cucumber Melon. I figured it would help her avoid putting shaving cream on her legs and trying to keep it from washing off while she shaves in the shower (a feat I have been unable to perform myself in my 26 years of shaving). Personally, though, it looks like after 4 or 5 uses all the shaving cream stuff will be gone, so we'll see how good of a value it really is. But, I thought it would be good until she gets the hang of it.

I could get all dramatic about how I now have a daughter who shaves and is moving up to the "Youth Building" at church in a couple of months, but I'll spare you all the ramblings....instead, I'm going to end this post and go give her a hug. Sniff. I feel like I was just taking her training wheels off.

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I remember why I enjoy living here in central PA. Yesterday, I was outdoors almost all day and relishing every glorious moment of it.

I took #2 to a soccer clinic near our house last night and enjoyed a beautiful walk around the soccer fields along the gravel trail. Just listening to my sneakers crunch the gravel with the sun hanging low in the sky and the trees blooming...my senses came alive. Even the smell of the port-o-potty was a welcome reminder that spring had arrived! I was so grateful that God had placed us in such a beautiful town and that I honestly appreciate all the good and not-so-good circumstances in our lives right now. After the good Lord and I took a 30 minute walk, I sat and watched #2 play some soccer. Again, I was overcome at the thought that God gave me 3 amazing little women and He trusts me not to completely mess them up! I was so glad I had my sunglasses on because a few tears slipped down my cheeks as I thanked Him over and over again for all He does in my life that I occasionally don't even notice, much less thank Him for. Then, came the kicker (not literally even though we were at soccer!)....I pulled out my Beth Moore devotional for that day since I had not had a chance to read it that day and I kid you not, this is what it said.....

Pure appreciation for His presence emerges from the daily walk, perhaps in the mundane more than the miraculous.

Was I not just walking and talking to God expressing my appreciation a mere 10 minutes ago?

Well, again, it was good I had those sunglasses or the other moms and dads would have been wondering what in the world was wrong with me??! I just love when He puts those little "winks" into my day! I was overcome that He would speak to me that way, how He really does listen and respond to us. It really blows me away just to think about it.

Now, I just need to work on the "daily" part!

Ode to Tortoni, Tabouli and All Foods Foreign

Let me set the record straight.

This is not me drinking from a cup....it is me trying to suck the most delicious, delightful amazing ice cream on the planet into my mouth. I had a coupon from my entertainment book so that this delectable quart of Mazzoli's Tortoni cost me a mere $2.50. I couldn't wait to get it home so I decided to squeeze the container so that the little bit that was melting around the edges could be sucked into my mouth. My children were asking me what I was doing and I'm sure while stopped at traffic signals I was getting some strange looks, but it is Tortoni for goodness sake!!

So, while we're on the topic of strange foreign sounding food...another item that makes my mouth water is tabouli. Now, most of you probably would not label me a very distinguished connoisseur of such ethnic sounding foods (Say Anything had to teach me the proper way to say "Gelato" after she laughed for 5 minutes at my own feeble pronunciation).

But, let me assure you...there is not an ethnic cuisine I have crossed paths with that I overall dislike. You name it....Chinese, Indian, French, Cuban, Mexican, Thai, Italian, Slovak, Haitian, Greek....my mouth is watering just thinking about it! Now I can definitely live without hummus and fish heads, but give me a big bowl of conch chowder, some curry and a side of sushi and I'm one happy girl! And, can I reassure you of something? I NEVER eat food just because it is trendy or "cool" to eat (or I would pretend to like hummus, right?).

I know I still owe you the McDonald's Playland story, but that's all the time we have today, folks. Tune in tomorrow (or not, since it is supposed to be a beautiful weekend!).

Hand Picked

Imagine President Bush contacted you and asked you to be one of his ambassadors, someone he had picked to represent him and all the issues he supports. And, you think to yourself, "huh? Why in the world has he picked me to do this?" Would you tell him sure, you would be happy to serve him and then go about your life as usual?

No, of course not! You would change the way you think about things (would the president approve), it would change how you think about yourself (the president trusts me with this), and it would change everyone around you (wow, she works for the President!).......

This was the thought that entered my mind as I was reading this a few minutes ago. Today's devotion said:

The apostle Paul said, "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service."

Ahhh, isn't that nice? Another scripture verse that makes my heart go pitter pat.

H-E-L-L-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When do I ever act like it is an HONOR and a PRIVILEGE to serve the God of the universe?

OH MY WORD!!!

I think I'm going to explode. I feel like if God opens my eyes to another amazing revelation of Himself I'm just gonna explode. And, it's gonna be crazy messy with all the coffee and fountain soda inside of me.

So, back to the President story (it is an analogy, I'm sure you figured that out by now). If the President stopped by and said, "Hey, we need you downtown to help with the food ministry next week, can you round up some people to help with that?" As my good friend Classic Mama would say, "You bet your bippy I'll be there with 100 of my closest friends, sir."

You get my point, right? God may not be calling you or me to the food ministry downtown, but I know He's calling us to do something with a bigger reward than a paycheck or a pat on the back. And, to top it all off, not only does He trust me with the assignment, He "has given me the strength" to get 'er done.

Wow.

Random Thoughts (again)

Here's what has been decided over the last few days and I have a peace about it 87.34% of the time....

The DOG - bye, bye

School - financial aid paperwork filled out for Christian School

My new attitude - don't ask what you can do for yourself, ask what can you do for Jesus

The Husband's job - we are not moving to Tampa in the near future (or South Dakota) for The Husband to go into business with his dad, it is a mere thought and no serious plans are being made

My jobs - I have 1 more week left at Curves and then no more getting up at 5:30 am unless it is to leave to catch a flight to an exotic island paradise......

I picked up a Beth Moore devotional and I just really, really like it a whole lot. I make sure I am spending time in God's Word every day for as long as I possibly can which has meant less time on the computer. But, I think I'll be okay.....

I made some delicious soup for dinner tonight...took a chuck roast, added a can of beef broth, diced tomatoes and a half a bag of baby carrots. Covered it with water and added an envelope of onion soup mix....brought it to a boil and cooked it on low for like 4 hours.....boiled some little baby bow tie pastas and it was SLAMMIN'!!! Yum, yum...enough for lunch tomorrow.

Umm...notice how that darn little weight loss tracker hasn't moved lately?? Bummer. It is taunting me. So is the Rita's gelati that The Husband brought home for me.

Tomorrow when I have time I must brag about the compliment I received at the McDonald's play land yesterday from another mom and brag again about how kind and generous my children have been (could their mother's new attitude be contagious??!). Tune in tomorrow for details.....

Free at Last

Very few times in my life I have been left at a loss for words. I sort of feel like that right now. God is doing such a deep, healing work in my life over the last 24 hours I'm not sure I have anything coherent to share in the blog sphere!

I'll try my best and then I am taking a few days off to marinate in all He's been revealing in me....


I can tell you it caught me off guard...I wasn't looking for it. I didn't even really think much of anything other than surviving the days one at a time. Yes, in some ways I've been making some positive changes but it has felt more like striving most days then just seeking the face of Jesus and being myself. I came to the realization last night that besides the devil I have been my own worst enemy. I spend the majority of my day second guessing every decision I make and then agonizing over the ones I haven't figured out, yet. If I would have just run into the arms of my loving God and soaked in His Word I think the confusion and accusing would not rule my day. Instead, I give Him a few scraps here and there as if I am doing Him a favor!! Imagine that! If I were God dealing with me I would be banging my head on a wall somewhere wondering what it is going to take to get the point across. Thankfully, He is God and He is good!

I had lost sight of why He even created me. It isn't remotely about me and my good intentions! I saw it so clearly this morning....God did not create me to have my whole life figured out with no roadblocks or detours. No. Why had I tried to boil it down to that? Now I am trusting Him because He sees the big picture and I know His plans for me are perfect and He will reveal them to me when I am ready. I want to be ready to hear His voice when He speaks so I don't fall back into the routine of confusion and condemnation. Most importantly, the plans He has for me are not even because of me....they are for a MUCH bigger purpose. Not to say, He doesn't love us, I'm sure He does beyond our wildest imagination. But, He also loves His lost sheep and He is counting on us to help bring them home.....which leads ultimately back to why He created me (and you).

So, I encourage you with this ....take a moment right now and ask God to show the parts of yourself you're holding back from Him. Maybe it's past hurts, resentment, disappointment or guilt....He changed the way I look at myself and I feel like a new creation! I always knew I was created to carry His presence. I just got burdened with some other stuff along the way. He is faithful to hear us and open the doors to those secret places in our hearts....those places He can heal in an instant if we allow Him access.

A Birthday Celebration Worth Waiting For!

I was very pleasantly surprised to have a couple of my best buds celebrate my birthday by cooking dinner, along with baked Alaska for dessert last night. I felt like queen for the night.

They also gave me coffee and chocolate! Do they know me or what??!

Then we played 2 of my favorite games. Spoons and Nerts. Even The Husband joined in as my partner for Nerts, a game he typically despises (but, I think it has been growing on him through the years). For those of you who don't know what Nerts is....the closest thing I can compare it to is Dutch Blitz.

It was a very relaxing evening which I really needed! Yesterday I had decided to put my 2 weeks notice in at Curves and that was hard to do. I am believing that The Husband is going to have a breakthrough in his job situation soon so that was a leap of faith.

We are still struggling with the whole "DOG" situation. We're getting rid of her, no, we're keeping her, no we need to get rid of her, no....this morning we were supposed to meet a couple who were interested in her and they never showed up to the dog park. We did meet the dog of our dreams, a little black cocker spaniel whom our dog was afraid of! Well, at least a morning at the park left our dog well worn out!

Serving God and Having Fun!

Last night was the first night of the elementary girls class I am teaching at church. I am blessed with 23 amazing girls and an awesome assistant whom I will call Crafty Mama. Last night we painted and decoupaged pots for centerpieces to bless our small group leaders at a training/fellowship they are having tonight. After the girls finished we talked about how Jesus served. To set an example Crafty Mama and I served the girls lemonade and cookies and gave them each a 2 minute hand massage with black raspberry vanilla lotion which I am told smelled delightful; however my nose was too clogged to smell anything.

Our scripture verses for the night were 1 Corinthians 12:4-7 and Mark 10:45. I wanted them to understand that we need to serve for pure motives and not to seek attention or try to get something in return. We also talked about God made us to make a difference in this world! He put gifts inside all of us to help others. We ended the night with the older girls pairing up with the younger girls and praying for one another. It was really a powerful time and I hope it is only the beginning. I don't think it is any accident that this is what I felt led to teach....sometimes I forget God made me to make a difference, too!

I'm Ready for Another Season of Pyscho Soccer Mom Madness

I'm sick. I feel awful. My head is stuffy and I just want to lay down. Then when I lay down, I just want to get up because I have so much to do. I actually called off sick to work today, both jobs. I have to teach my first Girls Night Out class tonight at church so I'm trying to rest my body and my brain so I can entertain a well organized thought. A difficult thing to do even on a day when I'm not feeling like my head weighs an extra 80 pounds.

I never did give you the answers for my trivia questions. They were Queen Elizabeth, Jerusalem, peas, once, and Tony Dow.

I took #2 to soccer try-outs last night for the traveling team. Oh My Word! #2 was one of the youngest ones there and I'm not sure what planet she was playing on but it didn't look anything like the Planet Soccer the rest of us were on. You see, she's a defense player. She's got a great BIG kick and she's quick. At try outs though, there are no "defense" players or goalies. ALL you do for over an hour is run around and try to score goals. So, what did #2 do all night? She was the only one that pretty much hung out in front of the goal and hardly ever went after the ball to try and score. Then, when it went out of bounds, instead of quickly kicking it back in play she would wait for someone to get "open", she would wait 2 seconds, 5 seconds, 10 minutes......it was all I could do not to stand up and scream at her to just KICK THE BALL TO ANYONE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND RIGHT!!!

Okay, just thinking about it is working me up if you couldn't tell. Friends, NEVER take your 7 year old to soccer travel team try-outs when you have a nasty head cold and PMS at the same time. She knew she didn't do so well but I tried my best to encourage her and give her some pointers. Pointers like, "Honey, when the rest of the team was dribbling in the circle why were you all the way on the other side of the arena where the coaches weren't even watching?" or "Sweetie, next time you try-out you need to run after the ball instead of waiting for it to come to you and when you kick it back in DON'T KICK IT RIGHT TO THE OTHER TEAM AFTER 6 MINUTES OF DELIBERATION, but really Sweetie, you did just fine.....". Oh, yes. Pray for my kids.

Help for Mommy Stress

I picked up two new books yesterday. One is called The Worn Out Woman and the other is called The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained. Hmmm....can you guess how I've been feeling for the last 7-8 years?

Here is what I read last night from The Worn Out Woman....."Although I sincerely longed to be the woman God intended me to be and had made some progress in that area, at times my life still felt out of control and overwhelming. Each time I fell back into what I call "race-pace mode," I realized I had many more miles of learning....it seems I've encountered more and more women who struggle with the issues we talked about. Most are energetic, accomplished women. They sincerely desire God's best for their lives. And yet they are exhausted, discouraged, burned out, missing joy. They know something is wrong, but they're not quite sure how to make it all right---and they're not sure they have the energy to try."

That really hit home for me! Then I started to wonder how many other women feel this way and how we try to blame the season of life we're in. In some ways we've accepted this overwhelming feeling as normal so we don't think anything but time (and, our kids growing older and less needy) will fix it. Many of us are really too worn-out to give much thought to fixing the reasons we're so worn-out! I do like to stay busy but I'm learning to say "no" and prioritize the commitments I do have. I'd like to say I figured it all out by now, but I wouldn't be buying books like these if I have!

I also wonder if this is a modern day problem or if it is something women have always struggled with. If so, it was never something you could openly talk about because you were a woman and you knew what was expected of you. We are so blessed to be in the place and home God has called us "for such a time as this"! I don't want to waste a precious moment of it with meaningless activity that leaves me drained.

Now, I need to start figuring out how exactly to do that!

Happy Easter!

Aren't they so cute? We were quite cold at our neighborhood Easter egg hunt and it was pretty uneventful. You know what some people do? They stick loose candy in these eggs and expect that I, in the 21st century, am going to let my kids eat jelly beans that could have been poisoned or at least been subjected to all the germs inside the unsanitary plastic Easter egg. We threw those away. Blah...yuck....ick! And, trust me when I tell you, I am not one of those "germy" moms that are completely parnoid about it.

So....anyway.

God's been asking me to leave some things at the foot of the cross and I'm thinking since it's Easter, and He's God I may just go along with that. So, I'm leaving my worry for the future, my anger and my defensiveness there today. I'm just going lay it down and see what happens.

I am really grateful that Jesus doesn't give up on us! As I was in worship at church last night I kept having this picture of Him really raising me up from the ashes. When I start to doubt my capabilities as wife, mother, disciple, superhero, He reminds me of where my life was 15 years ago. You know that Casting Crowns song, Does Anybody Hear Her? Well, that was me with the big scarlet letter. But Jesus in His amazing, infinite, incredible LOVE redeemed me and I can stand before Him knowing where I came from and where I am going. Well, sort of where I am going. I'm certain it will be from glory to glory, but I don't know if that will happen here or in South Dakota.

Just kiddin' again!

You all are probably wondering what is up with me and South Dakota. Actually, it is probably one of the states I'd least like to move to (besides North Dakota) because other than their capitals I don't know a thing about them! I know they have a very low population.....where was I?

Darn it, I was being all spiritual and then lost it.

I remember the first Easter I was "saved" (hee, hee I didn't even know what that meant!) back in 1994 and I was in tears through the entire church service. I just could not fathom that God loved me and forgave me and the relief that washed through me as I was 2-months old in the Lord was like no other peace I had ever felt before. I still remember what I was wearing and sadly enough it wouldn't fit over my hips today without tearing in two. But, it was cute!

Okay, I'm focusing.

I really need to go back in time and be encouraged by the miracles God has worked in my life. Someone at Curves said something really nice about me being a good mom and I thought it strange that she's never seen me with my kids, she only hears me talking (bragging) about them. Sometimes at the end of the day I just remember me ranting about putting dirty clothes in the hamper or nagging to finish school work. What I need to focus on is where I came from and how God has equipped me to be the best wife and mom for these amazing 4 people He has placed in my care. I really want to be an encouragement to people like that lady at Curves, to read between the lines, because honestly, it made my morning for her to say that!

So, I wish I had some deep thought to conclude on, but I leave you with this....God loves South Dakota and He loves you and me, too. Oh, and Happy Easter!

Random Rambling of the Day

In case you're all wondering I sold my house last night and we're moving to South Dakota!

Just kidding!

We went to Chocolate World yesterday and it was packed. I mean, really packed. If we didn't have friends with us there is no way I would've stayed to just to get a free Hershey Kiss. Mental note: when you home school you don't HAVE to go to places like that when kids are out of school for a holiday vacation.

I've made a decision to put The Dog on a 2-week trial period to see if I can make some changes that will allow us to keep her. The biggest change will be walking her twice a day (fringe benefit: that is 2 miles of walking I will do per day so I can beat all the competition in my Biggest Loser Contest!).

I've also made the decision to proceed to step #1 of sending the kids back to Christian school in the fall. I need to do some checking on financial aid since you could feed a small third world country on what the monthly tuition costs for three kids. Although, I wish there was some way I could still home school #2 who really likes it. The problem is that I will need to work while the kids are in school(to pay for it) and 8 years old is a little young to be home with 85 year old GAS. So, we're looking at an all or nothing deal here.

Did you know it takes about 10 hours for ExLax to do its job? I wasn't aware of that and it left me somewhat "unprepared" at gymnastics the other night. Yup. It's true. I was hurting, but managed to get home in the nick of time.

Here's some trivia questions I used at Curves this week.......

Who was nicknamed Good Queen Bess?
Where is the Wailing Wall?
What was the first vegetable?
How often do penguins mate?
Who played Wally, Leave it to Beaver's brother?
answers are here.

Today is our neighborhood Easter egg hunt. It is a glorious 33 degrees outside. We should have done it at Christmas time instead since it was at least in the fifties then! It may be kind of hard to pick up eggs with gloves on!

Help! I am Wallowing in Indecisiveness!

After over 40 emails of offers to help find a home for The Dog, now I'm not so sure we are actually going to go through with it! I can't possibly keep up with reading all the emails from people I don't even know. It just seems easier to keep her then deal with finding her a home.

Then, on an unexpected and once again totally random note I take #2 to their old Christian school on Thursdays to have phys. ed with her old classmates. While we were there today #3 had to go potty. I never go into the building, we always wait in the car or go get gas. I tried to get her to wait, but when you're five, you NEED TO GO when you need to go. The moment I stepped into the building this nostalgia washed over me. The smell, the sights, the sounds.....I really missed it. We ended up stopping by the office to purchase tickets to the school musical (that #1 would have been in had she still been a student there) and I actually asked the secretary for an admissions packet. As I was in the bathroom, I was shocked that I had done such a thing! What had gotten into my home school brain? I really like home schooling. Well, I kinda like homeschooling. Oh, alright....if we were making more money they'd still be going to school there. There was some typical catty girl stuff, but I'm not so sure that alone was our reason for pulling them out. Sigh......

As I was staring in the bathroom mirror inside this school I enjoy, yet can't afford, #3 yells out of her stall, "Mommy, I can't wait to go to kindergarten here next year!". I tell her that she will probably be home with mommy next year being home schooled. Probably? What is wrong with me? Are they pumping acid or some other hallucinogen through the school heating ducts? I then decide it would be good for #3 to come to kindergarten here and I'll home school the others. Yes, that was it. Then, I could really focus on the older girls and we should be able to swing one little kindergarten tuition, right?

I want to see her in that little cap and gown next year, is there anything wrong about that?

I mentioned all this to The Husband who is now talking like we are keeping The Dog and he thinks all three of them should go back to school. Uhhh, excuse me? This morning seemed like any other morning, what in the world is going on?! If I didn't know me any better I'd be looking out the window for the guys in the white suits, but this is really not anything that hasn't happened to me 2,314 times before.

I'm going to bed now before I put our house up for sale or try to do something else to rock my world. A girl can only take so much in one day.

The "Find Bella a Good Home" Coalition

Oh my word! If you see me on the news please don't be surprised. I'm afraid I'm going to have the Dobermans version of the NAACP picketing on my front lawn!!

Let's talk chain mail, folks. I sent out this via my email address book and viola! I've got every Doberman lover emailing me even as far away as Louisiana. Most of them are very helpful, but some are obviously upset at the idea of me putting an ad in the paper. For example, I received this email from someone I don't know:

"should NOT put an ad in the paper, unless she is willing to
ask for references, including a veterinarian, and check them ALL,
and do a home visit. People who are looking for bait for fighting
dogs, people who want a "junk yard dog" to protect their property,
and all sorts of "bad" people answer those ads."

Hey thanks!

I'm not feeling bad enough about this mess we got ourselves in and now I have to worry she's going to be torn limb from limb for some one's sick entertainment. And, I was worried she'd be left in her crate too long. Apparently I've given the impression I am so desperate to get rid of her I'll give her to the highest bidder without so much is checking into her potential living arrangements.

I've been receiving emails ALL day from people I don't even know with email addresses like "mybuddydog@...." and "poodogs@...."and I think we may have a good prospect. A woman whose husband is a veterinarian contacted me. They have a neighbor who wants a dog, but doesn't want a puppy, who happened to grow up with Dobermans and they live on a 6 acre farm. Added bonus: they live next to a veterinarian! They want to meet her. Please pray for us! Our prayers are being answered, but at the same time I'm on the verge of tears because she is such a great dog! I just want it to be over quickly for my sake and the kids. The Husband isn't looking forward to it either. She's been his dog from the start. I honestly thought about praying for God to let her die peacefully in her sleep then there is no decision to make other than backyard or front yard? Don't worry. I didn't actually entertain the thought.

I've spent wayyyyy to much time at the computer today reassuring people we will check references, visit the homes of and run a criminal background check on anyone interested in taking our dog. If they so much as paid their Sears card late they will be disqualified from the approval process. Ok, maybe not.

Dog For Sale (cheap)

Anyone out there interested in a 1 year old Doberman female? She is fixed and trained. Her problem is that she is too big and rowdy around the kids (she growls at them sometimes because she is trying to control them). She weighs 95 pounds and needs to be walked daily. She gets along well with other dogs (she actually seems more afraid of them). What she does not do well with is little kids who aren't my own. She barks at them and tries to jump on them and I am running out of patience. I thought maybe someone out there has a neighbor or family member with a fenced in yard who is looking for a good purebred, who is very patient, somewhat active and has time to spend with her (Dobermans are very loyal and need to be around family members, they are not good "outside dogs"). I think she'll outgrow a lot of her bad behavior since she is still considered a puppy, but I've come to the end of my rope.

If I don't get anyone interested through word-of-mouth I'm putting an ad in the paper within a week. It is time to do some overhauling in my life and this is step two. Step one is losing the weight I keep saying I'm going to lose. It is heartbreaking to think of getting rid of her, but it is also heartbreaking to keep her in a cage all the time because I can't trust her around my grandmother and the kids if I'm out of the room. If you don't know anyone, please pray! I need to know if she goes, she is going to a good place. Thank you!

By the way, we will take whatever someone is willing to pay for her, including nothing. We just want her to go to a good home.

Confessions of an Amateur Blogger

If there is such a thing as "blog envy" I've got a bad case of it! I started adventuring out of my normal routine and was surprised to see a blog world of really brainiacal (yes, that is a made up word), really controversial stuff that I really could not even relate to. It was deep. One thing was consistent though, these were some PRO-fessional looking blogs, my friends. I suddenly felt like this little thing I do was not in the same league as those PRO-fessional blogs. I mean my blog is the community college (which I went to) trying to hang with a blog in the PHD program of an Ivy League school. Suddenly, I started acting like the typical insecure woman (look at her kids, they are so well-behaved....check out her cute little outfit, she is always so well dressed.....her house is gorgeous and she keeps it spotless, yadda, yadda, yadda.....).

Don't any of you act like you don't know what I'm talking about.

So, as I was thinking how I can further advance my blogging abilities I realized something. Oh My Word! It hit me. My readers are just going to have to survive on my words alone and maybe the occasional picture. No bells and whistles here, my friends. Not that the fancy stuff isn't great. Basically, I have no more time left to advance my blogging ability. I say that somewhat apologetically. This blogging thing is more therapy than anything else. As my good friend, Classic Mama put it, (and let me tell ya, she is one Classy Mama) this is as close as some of us get to grown up conversation in the course of a day. By the way, I was going to call Classic Mama a Classy Broad, but even I saw the political incorrectness in that, although I know she wouldn't have minded!

So, anyway.

Where the heck was I?

Oh, yeah. I was trying to justify the simplicity of this blog, but perhaps I should be trying to justify the rambling instead (sleep deprivation). I really have gotten much better about not comparing my looks, life, house, clothes, and talents with other people. And, now I can add my blog to that list!

On a totally separate "thought process", God brought something to my attention today. I have been fasting (and, we'll come back to that on another day) and praying for a real breakthrough in some of the areas I'm struggling with. Here's what He revealed to me. I wanted to be set free from:

1. tension between me and #1 (pre-teen angst is nothing to joke about)
2. worrying about a new job for The Husband
3. struggling with all the commitments on my part (mostly work and home schooling)
4. the burden of wanting to lose weight and feel good about myself in summer clothes

I felt the Lord say to me what I really need to be set free from is fear, which is the root of everything that has been dragging me down. Fear of the future, fear of not getting certain tasks accomplished, fear of being ineffective and not living up to a certain expectation (you all know her! That's right! She's the Proverbs 31 woman!), and fear of my blog looking unprofessional (ha!ha! just kidding!). So, as soon as I came to this conclusion, about an hour ago, I thanked the Lord and am now eating a turkey meatball sub while I type this. I'll pray more about it after the kids go to bed, but for now I feel like this heavy burden has been lifted off of me.

......to be continued (before I drip sauce on my keyboard and I suppose the kids are going to want to eat dinner, too).....