Sunday, May 27, 2007

Not Giving Up or Giving In

I've been thinking about persecution the last few days. Someone sent me a very hurtful email, calling me ignorant and self centered because I send her and my other family members updates and prayer requests. She is an atheist married to a Catholic. It was probably the nastiest communication I have had with anyone since high school days. I shook for a good ten minutes after I read it, just shocked. I quickly wrote a defensive email back, but ended up deleting most of it. I made a choice to tell this person what she did was hurtful, but I still cared for her. She emailed a second time, again calling me ignorant and telling me I make her sick. I won't get into all the details, but she is an over the top animal activist and thinks I mutilated my cat's paws by having her declawed and after the whole Dog episode, she thinks people like us should not have any animals. It was really ugly. She mocked God and my faith in Jesus, telling me to stop praying and start thinking logically.

SO, while I really want to plead my case and share my side of the story in a 10 page documentary, I'm just going to ask the Lord to examine my heart. Perhaps what the enemy is intending to hurt me with is something God will use to help me grow. Most of the time when I speak to people about the Lord or ask to pray for them they are receptive. You give me a person who talks bad about my Jesus and I want to roll up my sleeves and start throwing some punches. This situation is really stretching me to "love the unlovable" and not allow a root of hopelessness to start growing in my heart towards this person, and atheists, in general. The Lord is also trying to teach me that I don't always have to try and prove my point (that's a tough one, ask The Husband)! Be still and know that He is God.....

Again, I find myself at the place where it's not about me. I am so thankful God doesn't give up when it still takes me a little while to figure this out!


Stephanie said...

Keep going girl. I can only imagine the pain that you have. It has the potential of being crushing.
Keep in mind that her reaction isn't pointed at you as much as it is HIM. If she was truly atheist no matter what you said about Jesus, God or your prayer requests wouldn't have had such an impact on her. Be joyful that she WAS impacted no matter how negative it may seem! I'll be praying for you both! Thanks for sharing!

Tracy W said...

I've been wondering all day what to write to encourage you best - I feel your pain and your frustration. I have been there, with a very similar target painted on my forehead. The difference was that it was a fellow believer, couching the criticism in spiritual counsel and advice. But all I can come up with is the following:

"I really enjoy reading about God at work in their lives and it spurs me on to continue to pray for my own family who will eventually have an amazing testimony of discovering the Father's love for them!"

Sound familiar? You wrote those words to encourage me in my "brag session" on my sis! :) Hang in there, you WILL get to see the faithfulness of the Father and her journey of discovery in His love. You will!!

Praying for you, and your funk . . .