My oh My, Look What the Mailman Brought Me

Oh my word!

Did ya ever get a letter in the mail that you weren't expecting from your birth father who you haven't spoken to in at least 5 years because you just don't know where he fits in your current life letting you know he's praying for you and is sorry he wasn't there for you growing up?

I did!

Nice guy, nice wife, nice daughters.....really. But, I did not meet them until I was in my 20's and every time we talked or we visited I ....

1. ....felt like I was cheating on my dad who adopted me when him and my mom got married before I turned 2. Unfortunately, they divorced my senior year in high school.....but, he'll always be my dad and I love him a ton.

2. ....didn't know how we fit into each other's lives. As my kids got older I didn't really know how to explain who they were and the few times I was around him and his family, it felt so awkward.

So, I did the seemingly immature thing and just lost touch with them. It was not a conscious decision, it just sort of happened. I'm seriously not bitter or traumatized, I'm just .......not interested? I guess? This is starting to sound so cold and calloused....really, I can't explain myself! Part of it is being so busy I can barely keep in touch with any of our family members, both near and far!

I have to respond to his letter and I don't want to hurt his feelings. I have prayed about it and I really do not feel convicted about not having a relationship with him. He is a believer, so that's good. He's just not my "dad" and there is no point in being his "friend". It is just allllllll so awkward!!

Can someone please call Dr. Phil for me??