Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I Hate Confrontation

Where is the line between being honest with someone about how you feel without hurting your relationship with her/him?

I blew my top today because there has been stuff just building up and I feel as if I've been taken advantage of and forgotten. My words were true, but my execution was flawed.

I think this is the PMS talking, but I'm seriously dealing with some abandonment issues right now that I can't begin to get into on a blog post. I just wonder why I'm even writing about it other than to try and encourage someone else so that they know they are not alone. And, on top of that I made GAS cry today because I told her if she says she feels like a nuisance one more time I'm really going to get upset. I made her look at me as I spoke rather firmly (yelled) to her that she is loved, appreciated and she is part of this family. The enemy is the one telling her she is a nuisance. God placed her here and no one has ever told her she isn't wanted besides the devil. She has a very difficult time receiving words like that and it breaks my heart.

Ugh. It's been a crummy day. Thank the good Lord for The Husband and the girls. They think I'm pretty great (most days) and that is a source of comfort to me right now. I love the way they love me.

It's pretty cool when God knows exactly what we need. And, really when I think about Christ pursuing me all those years before I surrendered to Him, that blows my hurts and insecurities right out of the water. He never gave up on me and there isn't a moment that goes by when I'm not on His mind.

Well now, I feel better already!

1 comment:

The Gang's All Here! said...

Okay, this post is further evidence that we are actually identical twins separated at birth.

I actually had a similar incident this week, and handled it badly. Worse, I'm sure I need to confront the issue head on differently and with a cool head, but I'm not sure I want to. Or that I even know how to, as the core issue is so intangible. And something very precious to me but not to many others.

Thanks for the encouragement that I am not alone. And for the example of a heart that WANTS to do it right or at least do it better next time. . . .