Wednesday, January 30, 2008

They Got Their Potty Breaks Back

As the middle school saga rages on and parents have called in to complain, #1 and her classmates got their restroom privileges back, as long as they continue to sign in and out. One parent, who is a doctor, submitted this million page report about how harmful it is to the bladder and kidneys to not relieve yourself when you feel the "urge" to go. Apparently, the restroom ban was lifted, as of today.

But, you know that whole business about the 85% helping the other 15% through positive peer pressure? Excuse me while I laugh my head off!!!!!!!


But, actually it's not funny. One of the girls who was caught vandalizing came into the restroom yesterday and ran in front of the 7 girls waiting because it was "an emergency". Not one of the girls said anything other than, sure, go ahead. I said to #1, "Did anyone, including you, stop to realize she is the reason you all can't use the restroom and were waiting with 7 people in line??!!". #1 said that this girl is "popular" and had told a mutual friend of theirs "I hate #1". We have no idea why other than this girl was running for mayor and #1 won. Since then, she ignores or pushes #1 out of the way when she wants to talk to someone or sharpen her pencil. So, I know that #1 just backs off to avoid a confrontation. She is also afraid of getting in trouble. That's hard for me, because we are called to be kind and loving, but not passive and intimidated. Part of me feels like she should stand up to this girl, even if she's the only one (a lot of girls apparently pretend to like this girl and when she walks away they make faces and say they can't stand her!). Then, I realize this is something that makes her uncomfortable and I think she needs to deal with it her own way. It's not like she is seeking this girl out as a friend and is getting rejected. And, don't I tell all of my kids that if everyone likes you all the time, then you probably aren't living sold out to Jesus because sometimes there are spiritual battles being waged that we can't even see?

But, as far as the theory of the 85% keeping the 15% in line I'm not seeing any evidence of that at all. In fact, I think the "bad girls" know just how much power they have and they aren't afraid to manipulate, even the teachers, to get the attention they want. We're talking sixth grade here.

You know that saying that girls are easier when they are younger, but as they enter adolescent age, boys are much easier. Yeah, I'm beginning to see why. I don't mean that #1 is difficult, I mean what she goes through is difficult. I feel so bad for the girls who have no one to turn to when they go through this junk. #1's hope is in knowing that she is fearfully and wonderfully made by our God who loves her and will never leave her.

My hope is in knowing that she does not belong to me, she belongs to our God, who fearfully and wonderfully made her, who loves her and will never leave her.


Livin' Life said...

PLT for the lift on the ban. I have been praying for you guys. I will continue to pray for #1 and this girl. I know my kids aren't in Middle School yet but Rocker had a horrible bully situation at school. We prayed and prayed and wasn't sure what could be done.
After many meetings with principles and teachers Rocker prayed and heard the Lord tell him the young mans heart was black and pray for it to turn pink.
OK not going to argue with that. Well that summer the kid went to a vbs camp and gave his heart to Christ. He is now one of Rockers good friends. I will be praying for radical transformation here!!!

Helen/ilana said...

There are much better ways to deal with conflict than the one your school is using. Try introducing them to the work of Kim John Payne. We have been working with his Social Inclusion model in our school for nearly 3 years and it has transformed the climate at the school dramatically!

Helen/ilana said...

Hmmm the html didn't work very well on that Kim John Payne reference. The is the url: